


Boomerang

by WannabeWriter100



Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Love, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 48,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WannabeWriter100/pseuds/WannabeWriter100
Summary: "I don't care if you push me away. I'm a fucking boomerang."Just like a boomerang, will Omar find his way back to Ander?
Relationships: Ander Muñoz & Omar Shana, Ander Muñoz/Omar Shana
Comments: 176
Kudos: 375





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I should be writing another multi-chaptered story when I just started a new one but this storyline just really spoke to me. 
> 
> This is an alternate ending for Omar and Ander Season 3, if you will. I love Omar and I believe that he and Ander is end game, but I think his confession, apology, and repentance is still missing. 
> 
> Wherever this story goes, remember that Omander is forever. 
> 
> Like a fucking boomerang.

_"On behalf of American Airlines, the flight crew would like to welcome you to Madrid–Barajas Airport. We will be arriving at the gate momentarily. Please remain in your seats with your seat belt securely fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete stop at the terminal gate.”_

Omar sat up straight when he heard the captain’s announcement. He could feel his heart starting to beat faster as soon as he heard the word Madrid. Omar took a few deep breaths as an attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart and save himself from hyperventilating.

It has been 2 years since he left for New York and he hasn’t been back home since then. He has been wanting to come home like 5 minutes after they landed in New York but now that he’s back, he wondered if it was a good idea. Omar shook his head and reminded himself that of course it was a good idea. His parents needed his help. His mother had told him and his sister Nadia that she was worrying about their father and his health. Their mother was scared that he might have another heart attack with how hard he was working in manning their store, with only their mom there to help him. She told them that she already talked to their father about hiring someone to help with the store, but he flat out refused, not wanting to pay another person to do the job that he stubbornly insists he could still do.

Omar and Nadia had discussed about it and tried to think of ways to help their parents, both worried about their father’s health. That’s when Omar had decided that it would be best for him to go back home and help their parents. Nadia was already in her 2nd year in Columbia University and, Nadia being Nadia, is a consistent dean’s lister so Omar thinks it is never an option for Nadia to be the one to drop out of school and go back home to help their parents.

Omar on the other hand, has just started studying in a community college, after taking free English classes and earning enough credits to finish his last year in high school. He was also working some part-time job in a supermarket near his place to support himself. If Omar would be honest to himself, his life in New York was not any better than his life in Spain and he really did want to go back home. He may have left for New York 2 years ago, but his heart and soul never left Madrid.

Omar was interrupted with his thoughts when he felt the other passenger sitting beside him stood up. He looked out the airplane window and saw Madrid again. A strong wave of nostalgia hit him. Too strong that he had to hold on to the armrest of his seat and closed his eyes. Only one word crossed his mind right there and then.

Ander.

…..

“Welcome home son!” Omar’s father greeted him as he stepped out of the arrival gate and gave him a quick hug.

“Omar, _cariño_. I am so happy you are home _mijo_.” His mom said with tears of joy in her eyes, giving her a kiss and a tight hug.

“ _Ola_ Mama and Baba. I missed you both so much” Omar hugged both of his parents back.

He truly missed his parents when he was in New York. Just like what his father has told him before, it is always colder outside their home and New York was very cold for Omar. Literally and figuratively speaking.

The drive home from the airport was spent with his parents asking him about New York, about Nadia, and even about Lu. True to their words, his parents do treat Lu as their own daughter and Omar and Nadia are both very happy about it. He had always liked Lu, even from back when he and Ander was just starting their relationship.

Ander. Omar couldn’t stop thinking about Ander since his plane landed, not that he ever stopped thinking about him. But in the 2 years that passed, Omar had learned how to push thoughts of him to the back of his mind, it all flew out of the window though the very minute the captain announced that they were already in Madrid.

The goosebumps on his skin never went away from the time he got off the plane. When he stepped in the airport, passing through customs and security, he felt a strange sensation. He could feel the hair on the back of his neck standing up, like someone was watching him and following his every move. He knew it was just his paranoia, guilt, and nerves talking. No one other than his parents knew he was coming back home today. He asked Nadia not to tell Guzman about it and begged Lu not to tell any of their friends. Omar had stopped talking to their friends a few months after being in New York. He just couldn’t talk to them, not even to Rebeka and Samuel. Well, especially to Rebeka and Samuel, who he knew had became even closer to Ander after repeating their last year of high school in Las Encinas together.

Omar does not deserve to call them his friends, not after what he did to Ander. They wouldn’t want to be his friend anyway when they found out how he abandoned Ander just when he was dying not only because of cancer but because of a broken heart too. They would hate him and he deserves it.

Everybody loves Ander, anyone who gets close to him finds themselves loving him because he is just so very easy to love. Ander is a good person, a great friend, and a loving son. He has so much love to give to everyone. Most especially to Omar and he wasted it all. He threw it all away and hurt and betrayed him instead.

Up to this very moment, he is still betraying him, and he will continue to do so until he stopped being a fucking coward and a selfish bastard. Until he got the balls to man up and told Ander how he cheated on him at the lowest point of his life, he still continues to betray him.

“Omar honey, we’re home.” His mama said, gently tapping his knees.

Omar looked around and saw that they are now stopped in front of their store. “Oh, we’re here, I didn’t notice.”

His mother looked at Omar intently and touched his face. “Are you alright Omar? Is something bothering you?”

“No Mama. I’m alright. Just a little tired, I guess. It was quite a long flight and I did not get much sleep.” Omar lied to his mother and gave her a smile.

Omar got off the car first and opened the door for his mother. He gave her a kiss and hugged her again. He was amazed at how his mother could still tell if he’s upset or if something is bothering him with just one look at him.

His father opened the front door of their store then looked at him and said, “Welcome home son”.

They said home is where you heart is and his heart never left Madrid, never left Ander.

So yes, he is home.

….

Nothing much had changed in their store. Omar thought it’s because his parents did not have much time to redecorate and it was Nadia who used to do it anyway.

Omar walked around their small store, looking at the shelves stacked with canned goods and bags of sugar and flour. He walked around the produce, touching the melons and zucchinis. He closed his eyes and saw the times that he spent in the store, stacking cans and bags and lining up produce. Melons and zucchinis. Omar remembered how Ander once complained about seeing him always with just melons and zucchinis, how he wanted to see Omar outside the confines of their store and for more than 10 minutes.

He looked outside the glass window. Nothing much had changed in their street too. Same old houses, stores, and café. He looked at the corner across the street and the same wave of nostalgia from the plane hit him again. He could picture Ander standing in that corner, waiting for Omar to give him 10 minutes of his time. 

Yes, Ander had complained and showed his frustration about the very short time Omar was able to give to him that one summer, yet he still stayed. Omar would never forget how Ander religiously waited across the street from their store every day, just to spend 10 minutes with him. He remembered how he felt so loved and treasured by Ander. That was the very first proof of how much Ander had loved him, of how big of a love he had for him. Love that he just threw away and discarded when he couldn’t take suffering with him anymore, when he felt betrayed and cheated on even when he was doing the exact same thing to him.

Ander’s love. Will Omar ever have it again?

.....

_Nadia._

Nadia was studying for an exam the following day when her phone rang. She didn’t really want to answer the phone but she thought that it may be something urgent or important since her friends and even Guzman knew not to call her during exam week or they would not hear the end of it.

She answered the phone and heard her mother’s voice on the other line.

“Nadia, _mija_ how are you?”

“ _Ola_ , Mama. I’m fine, thank you. How are you and Baba? Is everything okay? Where is Omar?” Nadia answered. She was starting to get worried. Her mom’s voice was worrying.

“Your Baba and I are okay. We are calling you about Omar, actually.”

“Why, Mama? Is everything okay with Omar?” Since Omar went back to Spain a week ago, she hasn’t spoken with her brother yet.

“We don’t think your brother is fine Nadia. He’s a big help to me and your father but he doesn’t look fine. I always catch him with a faraway, sad look on his face. He hasn’t even been out of the house since he got back here. I was expecting he would be out with his old friends or at least with Samuel after a few days of being back here. I am worried about him Nadia. I asked him several times if something is bothering him and he always tell me that he is alright, but I am his mother and I know when something is bothering my child.” Nadia’s mom cried.

“Don’t cry, Mama. I will talk to him. It’s going to be fine you’ll see.” She tried to reassure her mother.

“Your Baba is worried too that Omar might be feeling imprisoned again being here in our house and helping us with the store. That was the last thing we wanted him to feel, Nadia especially your father.”

“Mama I can assure you that Omar does not feel that way. He really wanted to help you out and be there for you. He has been wanting to come back home for a long time now. Please tell Baba not to worry about it. I will talk to him, I promise.” She assured her mother.

Nadia could not go back to her studying anymore after the call with her mother. She was now worried about Omar too. She knew though that Omar was sad not because he didn’t want to go back to Spain and help their parents. It was true what she said that he has been wanting to come back home for quite a while.

Truth of the matter is, Omar has not been his self since like when they first got to New York. After the initial high and novelty of being in New York had worn off, Nadia had started to notice the changes in his brother. He didn’t laugh as often as he used to but instead, he became withdrawn, detached. Omar was very fond of Lu but even Lu couldn’t cheer him up enough to bring back the old Omar that they knew. The faraway, sad look that their mother said in the call was not hard to imagine for Nadia. She was very familiar to that look on Omar’s face. Gone were the cheeky smiles that used to adorn Omar’s baby face.

She actually even thought that Omar and Malick would start a relationship once in New York and living together so she was surprised when he found out from Malick himself that Omar had moved out and got his own apartment. She called him that same day and did not stop until he told her where he was living. Nadia knew Omar needed help and she would not stop until she gets to the bottom of it.

When she got to Omar’s place, he has already drunk himself into a stupor. His place was a mess with beer bottles and empty pizza boxes scattered everywhere and dirty dishes on the sink, which was very unlike Omar. She took him to bed to let him sleep his drunkenness off and cleaned up his place while waiting for him to wake up so they could talk.

And talk they did when Omar woke up the following day. Omar broke down. He told Nadia about how mad he is at himself for leaving Ander at the worst time of his life, just when he needed him the most. He talked about his guilt for cheating on Ander with Malick several times, how he acted all high and mighty after Ander deliberately lied to him about cheating with Alexis when he himself has been doing the same thing. He left him after racking him with guilt for pushing him away intentionally. He told her of his regrets of letting Ander go, of hurting him, and of losing him. Omar cried and because he knew that he would never get Ander’s love back because he did not deserve it.

Nadia’s heart broke for his brother and for Ander too. She wanted to help but Omar made her promise and begged her to never ever interfere and meddle with anything about Ander. He would never forgive her if she did, he said. He was not ready and thought that he doesn’t deserve Ander’s forgiveness and love. So Nadia agreed and kept it as a secret in exchange of a promise that Omar would stop drinking his self to death and start turning his life around.

Long after their talk Omar had stopped drinking too much and started working on learning English and getting enough credits to get a high school diploma and was even able to enroll in a community college. He was doing fine, and she even heard from Lu that Omar had dated some guys, some of them was even set up by her, although nothing stuck. Nadia knew that it was because Omar was still pining for Ander. But he was doing okay, and Nadia even had high hopes that they would still get their old Omar back soon, until he had to go back home to Spain for their parents. Somehow she knew that as much as Omar wanted to go back home, it may not be the best thing for him. Being back home would bring back all the memories and Nadia was very much worried that her brother would go into depression.

They need someone to talk to Omar, someone else to reach out to him. If not to help him with Ander but to at least take his mind off things. She could not call Guzman because Omar even begged her not to tell him that he’s back in Spain. He couldn’t face Ander’s best friend and Nadia didn’t really trust Omar and Guzman to meet without her or at least another person present, even if Omar was her brother. Guzman knew what Omar did to Ander and a protective Guzman was someone you don’t want to be around in situation like that.

Like a light bulb moment, Nadia knew who to call.


	2. Burning Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories and old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so overwhelmed with the comments and kudos I received for the first chapter of this fic so, here's another chapter to thank you all.
> 
> The title of the chapter I got from our very own Aron Piper's new song. I love it! If you haven't listen to it yet please do, it's great!

_Omar._

Omar quickly got into a routine with his parents. Used to getting up very early in the morning, his dad was the one who open the store for the day. They let Omar sleep in and when he wakes up, he would start helping in the store. He took over the heavy liftings from his dad and when it's all done, he would look after the store to give time to his parents to do other errands, go to the doctor, or to just rest. He closes the store later than his parents used to. He tires himself out working in their store so that he could just go to bed at night and immediately fall asleep because without it, sleep would never come at all for him.

Thoughts of Ander haunts him every time. Leaving him sleepless and weary. Ever since he’s been back to Spain, each and every memories of his time spent with him, of their relationship kept coming back to the forefront of his mind. Omar didn’t know which one was worse, memories of their good times together or the bad times, the worst times which were a nightmare to him.

Thinking of the good times was fun and it brings a rare smile to his face. He remembered the first time that he and Ander met. Ander buying weed and him selling. It was funny how they met. He remembered meeting again because of that dating app which only matched them because of their proximity. It was crazy to think that out of all the guys in their area, the app’s basic algorithm matched them. He thought of Andres and Roman, their alter-egos. Omar wondered if in some parallel universe, Andres and Roman were still together. If maybe, unlike him, Roman did not fuck up and stupidly let go of Andres.

Then came the memories of the first time they kissed. It was all still very fresh in his memory, so fresh that Omar could still taste it, could still feel it like it was just yesterday that Ander was kissing him and holding him. His gentle caresses contrastingly accompanied with his fiery kisses. Ander kissed him like he wanted to devour him, and Omar was a willing victim, ready to be devoured by him. All of these thoughts would lead him to the most beautiful memories he ever had, the first time he felt Ander inside him and all the times after that. The feeling of having him inside, when he entered him for the first time was surreal, glorious, consuming. The heavy but pleasant weight on top of him, the beautiful ache he felt as he glided in and out of him. He could still hear Ander’s grunts and groans like a musical accompaniment to his powerful thrusts. It all felt like burning fire and Omar could still feel its blaze up to that very moment.

A loud sob came out of his mouth. He couldn’t help it, it hurts him so damn much. All those good memories always leave him yearning more for Ander, longing even harder for something that he knows he will never have ever again. Something and someone he doesn’t deserve.

“Ander…” Omar called out loud. He couldn’t stop himself anymore from sobbing and crying out Ander’s name. He clutched his heart in pain. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Omar? _Mijo_?” He heard his mother called and then knocked at his door and opened it. His mother ran to his side upon seeing him curled up on his bed, clutching his heart, sobbing loudly.

“Omar my baby, what’s wrong? Please tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you”. She gathered Omar to her arms, her heart breaking seeing her son like this.

Like a little child, Omar cried to his mother’s arms. He held on to her tight as he let go of all his suppressed feelings and tears.

“Mama! I lost Ander, Mama! I hurt him. I hurt him so much Mama and now I can never have him back” Omar said, repeating the same lines over and over again as he continued to cry to his mother.

“Ssshhh, it’s okay my darling. It’s all going to be okay, I promise you. Ssshhh…” His mother cooed. She did not know how she could make it alright for her son, but she vowed to do everything she could to make him feel better.

Omar did not see it, but his father was there too. Yusef saw his son broke down. He did not approach him, letting his wife console their son on her own, but his heart broke along with him. He may not have approved of it at the beginning and he may still not grasp and fully understand the dynamics of it all, he may never do, but all he knew is that he wants his son to be happy. Omar would never know how his dad offered a special prayer to Allah for him. Strength and love he prayed for his son. Strength that he may surpass whatever he was going through and love to bring back life to his son.

….

Omar woke up one morning to his dad calling him from their store. He got up, did his morning routine quickly and step out to the store to go to his father.

“Yes, Ba----?” Omar stopped mid-sentence when he saw who was in their store.

“I came here to see if the rumor was true. I guess it is true then, you are back.”

Omar did not know what to say. He was not expecting this. Not today.

“Samuel? Hey! Ummm, _buenas_?” He greeted Samuel, still surprised to see his friend, a friend, standing in front of him.

“Are you really not going to let me know that you are back home?” Samuel asked, tone hard and accusing.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Samu. I…” Omar tried to explain but Samuel interrupted him.

“Save it. Nadia called me. Now, I have to go because I have class in less than an hour but you will meet me later tonight. There’s a bar beside Teatro Barcelo. Meet me there at 6 PM. You better come or Nadia would sic Guzman on you, and I would help her do that, believe me.”

Omar looked at Samuel and saw that he was serious. There’s no escaping for him now he knows, so he nodded his head and told him yes.

Samuel looked at him closely and then gave him a hug “I missed you.”

He hugged him back. He was scared but it felt good to know that he still has a friend.

…..

Omar left too early he thought as he was sitting in a booth towards the back of the bar. Samuel was still not there when he got there. He felt uneasy. There was a reason why he hasn’t left their house since he came back. The prickly, nervous feeling he had when he stepped off the plane comes back every time he steps as much as one foot out their store. He was hiding from too many people. Guzman, Samuel, Rebekah, Ander, especially Ander, or even from Cayetana or Valerio. He barely knew the two, but words get around, that if one of them saw him, the rest would know.

“What’s taking you so long, Samuel?” He asked to no one, tapping his fingers on the table. A nervous tic.

He was nursing his beer, still waiting for Samuel when a group of laughing boys his age came in the bar. He turned around by reflex and that’s when he saw it. The mop of curls he was too familiar with.

Ander.

He and 2 other guys stopped by the bar to order their drinks while the other head out to get them a table. He leaned sideways, busy talking to his friends. Omar could now see his profile.

Omar’s heart was beating fast. He could not believe he was seeing Ander in the flesh again. Ander was right there within his reach. He was frozen in place, he couldn’t move. It’s like time stopped and everything went still.

He felt like he was doused with cold water when he heard Ander’s friend yelled at them “Hey guys, over here.”

No, he can’t see him. He can’t be seen by Ander. He was not gonna ruin Ander’s night, ruin his life. He had to leave. When Ander turned his back on him to pay for their drinks, Omar stood up and walked to the door to leave the bar. He was walking too fast that he bumped into some guy which made the guy spilled some of his beer.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, asshole!”, yelled the guy. He mumbled a quick sorry and ran the few steps to the door. He was so scared that it would attract Ander’s attention and looked his way. When he was out the door, he ran so fast, bumping into people and not caring if he was going to the wrong direction.

He heard someone calling his name, but he did not stop. He couldn’t stop. No, Ander cannot see him. Not now. _Ni hoy. Ni nunca._

….

_Samuel._

Samuel was already close to the bar where he was going to meet Omar when he saw him running out of the bar.

 _“Was Omar really going to ditch him?”_ Samuel thought.

He was surprised when he received a call from Nadia the other day. They were still friends, but they don’t talk that much especially when she, Lu, and Omar all left for New York. He hadn’t even talked to Omar for a long time. Omar stopped answering his calls and even deactivated his social media accounts or maybe blocked them, he didn’t know. He hasn’t reached out to them ever since and only heard about Lu and Nadia from Guzman or from their occasional posts in social media.

He was even more surprised when Nadia told him that Omar was back in Spain. She asked him if he could go see him. She told her it was important that he talked to him. Nadia sounded desperate and it worried him. He may not have talked to Omar for a long time, but he was still his friend and still cared for him.

Nadia had warned him that Omar would probably refuse to talk to him, but he must not take no for an answer. She told Samuel to tell Omar that she would sic Guzman on him if he wouldn’t talk to him. He found it funny, but it confused him why Omar would not want to talk to Guzman or to him, so he stopped by the Shanaa store and paid him a visit.

He stared at Omar and he hardly recognized him. His smile was forced, and he may not have seen him for a long time, but Samuel knew something was wrong with his friend. He now understood the urgency in Nadia’s voice when she asked him to see Omar. He would talk to him and he would find out what was wrong.

Samuel followed Omar, calling out his name. He seemed so out of it that he kept bumping into people. Something was wrong. He ran faster to catch up with him.

“Omar! Omar, stop!”, he yelled. Omar must have heard him then, he turned around and looked at Samuel.

“I’m sorry but I have to go Samuel. He can’t see me. I…I..I just can’t” Omar stammered. He looked shaken.

Samuel was not sure what was happening, but he touched Omar’s shoulders, trying to steady him and told him “Hey, hey, it’s okay. C’mon let’s go to my house. It’s safe there. C’mon.”

He led Omar to his house. When they got to his place, he went to the fridge and took 2 bottles of beer and gave one to Omar. Samuel did not say anything at first, giving Omar time to recover from earlier. It was so quiet that they both jumped when they heard a knock on the door. He went to the door and opened it and heard Omar say,

“Guzman...?”

.....


	3. How

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I've mentioned in the 1st chapter, this is like an alternate ending so for more dramatic effect, I changed the part when Ander went to remission. For the sake of the story, let's say that he went into remission like a few weeks after the end of S3. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading and I hope you like it!

_“Tu, hijo de puta!”_ Guzman walked past Samuel and went charging at Omar. He punched Omar in the face, causing Omar to lose his balance and fall on the floor. Samuel was surprised, so he was not able to stop Guzman but when he realized what’s happening, he ran to the two boys and tried to get Guzman off Omar. Being taller and stockier than Samuel, Guzman was able to land 2 more punches on Omar before Samuel was able to pull him off Omar.

“Guzman what the hell, man?! Get off Omar! Stop!” Samuel shoved Guzman away from Omar. He did not know what was happening. How did Guzman know that Omar was here in his house and what the fuck was this all about. Somebody better explain it to him now.

Omar was still on the floor and Samuel was still dumbfounded that Guzman walked past him again and fisted Omar’s shirt to pull him up and slam him into the wall.

“What are you doing here, huh? How dare you show your fucking face here after what you did to Ander!” Guzman screamed at Omar, still holding Omar’s shirt. He was going for another punch, but Samuel quickly pulled him away from Omar in time. He stood in the middle of the two just to be sure that he would be able to stop Guzman from punching Omar again.

“Will you please stop Guzman and both of you tell me what the hell is going on here?!” Samuel’s very confused. Omar just got back so he didn’t understand how he got Guzman that mad at him so quickly. He’s missing something. Guzman’s still seething mad, nose flaring and hands shaking. Omar had his head bowed down with his face bleeding, and still hadn’t said a word. He did not even try to fight Guzman back or even tried to protect himself from Guzman’s assault. It’s like he just accepted all his punches.

“Oh, you mean you really did not know that your so-called best friend is a heartless, cheating bastard or you just didn’t care?!” Guzman was the first to speak.

“What?! Omar, what is he talking about?” Samuel looked at Omar wanting him to say something.

Guzman beat him to it. “Your best friend cheated on Ander while he was dying from cancer. Fucked Malick behind Ander’s back numerous times because it was too hard for him to be with his very sick boyfriend. Left said dying boyfriend even if he specifically told him that he’s scared of dying and that he needed him. Oh, and top of that, this asshole did not leave his boyfriend without making him feel guilty of supposedly driving him away even if he was the one who has been fucking around all along.”

Samuel was shocked. He did not know all of this. He was too occupied with his want for revenge on Polo, guilt for what he did to Rebeka, and love for Carla that he obviously missed all the other things that was going on with his friends.

“Omar is that true? Did you really do all that?” Samuel asked his best friend with a calm voice, trying not to sound judgmental. He knows it’s the last thing his friend need right now, but he did not get an answer from Omar. He still couldn’t speak.

Guzman scoffed, “ _Joder!_ Of course it’s true Samu!” He then turned to Omar.

“What makes you sleep at night, huh Omar?! Do you tell yourself that Ander deserved you cheating on him because he was pushing you away, or that he gave you a free pass when he told you that you can fuck other people because he could no longer fuck you? Or are you really that fucking stupid to believe that Ander could actually cheat on you at that time when he barely had energy left to talk to you, to me, or to his mother?”

Guzman was all up on Omar’s face again, so Samuel stood up from sitting on the couch and pulled Guzman away before he started throwing punches again. “Guzman that’s enough. I think if anything, he should be talking about this with Ander, not with us.”

“What? No, screw that! I really want to know how that asshole over there could still live with himself after leaving Ander like that for dead. How he could still sleep at night after everything he did coz I couldn’t. I laid awake all those nights, scared to death that I would lose another best friend, just right after seeing one die right in front of me. I couldn’t sleep from watching my best friend suffer and slowly dying every day. How could we sleep when we did not know what’s going to kill him first, cancer or his broken heart. How could you sleep at night seeing a good person hurt so much physically and emotionally? How could you sleep when you felt so helpless because the person you’re helping has lost all hope to live?” Guzman slumped down on the couch, drained from remembering those horrible times.

Omar was all out sobbing now, muttering “I’m sorry” incoherently over and over again. Guzman must have heard it, he stood up and spoke again. “You’re sorry? You’re fucking sorry?! How could you leave him like that, huh? Ander did not know if he would live another day, he even told you he was scared to die. He told you he needed you but what did you do, huh? You left and went your merry way and played house with fucking Malick! I still don’t understand how you could have let yourself be brainwashed by that piece of shit and leave the guy that you supposedly love.”

“Malick did not brainwash me!” Omar said, surprising Samuel. He was not expecting Omar to speak at all that night.

“I can’t fucking believe it! You really are an asshole for having the guts to defend that guy in our faces ---”

“I am not defending him!” Omar cut off Guzman. “I am not defending him, but I am not using him to defend myself either. I refuse to use him or anyone or anything to justify what I did to Ander. It was all me! I did all that because I was selfish and entitled. Ander did not deserve all that, do you think I didn’t know that? I beat myself up everyday because of what I did and I know I did not deserve to be forgiven.”

“Omar…look…why don’t you try to talk to Ander…” Samuel started to say but Guzman cut him off quickly.

“No!!! You stay away from Ander, Omar. Do you hear me?!”

“Guzman, it’s not your place to decide that don’t you think?” Samuel answered back.

“The hell it’s not my place! You must not know Ander! Ander blames himself for Omar leaving him. He thinks he deserved everything that Omar did to him. He will forgive him in a heartbeat and that motherfucker is right, he did not deserve to be forgiven. Let his guilt eat him up for the rest of his life. He deserved it.”

Guzman got near Omar again, “The only reason, I won’t beat you to death is because I know Nadia and Ander would never forgive me if I did, so you thank them for that and you better thank your God too that Ander went in remission because if he didn’t, nothing could have stopped me from killing you. Stay away from Ander, _entiendes_?!”

…..

_Rebeka_

_“Ola, chico”_

Omar looked up from what he’s reading and saw Rebeka standing by the door of their store. “Rebe…”

“Oh, so you still know me? I thought New York made you lose your memories of your friends back home.” Rebeka said, bitterness obvious in the tone of her voice. “You busy right now? Do you wanna go get a cup a coffee just right across the street? You owe me anyway after all these years of ignoring me, _cabron_!”

Omar just shook his head sheepishly and stood up to tell his parents that he will step out for a bit. They left the store and went to the café across the Shanaa store.

The café was not busy given the time of the day so it was not that loud to have a conversation even with some acoustics softly playing in the background. They grabbed a booth and sat down.

Rebeka did not say anything right away. She just sat there, drinking her cup of coffee and staring at Omar. Omar’s face was shining with bruises and his upper lip was cut. Underneath the black eyes, Rebeka could see the bags underneath Omar’s eyes. Swollen and ringed with red and showing how much her friend was suffering and distressed.

“Guzman really did a number on you, huh?” Rebeka said, holding Omar’s chin to inspect his face.

Omar shrugged, “Yeah you could say that but, I deserve it so…”

Rebeka leaned back and sighed. She hated that she agreed to what Omar just said. She and Ander had grown closer in the past two years. Being the first to know among their peers about his sickness and then having to repeat their last year in Las Encinas together, Ander had become one of those people she cared for the most. He’s a great guy and he had been a reliable confidant for her. She loves the guy.

But, Omar was her friend too so she did not want to pass judgement on him without hearing his side of the story first. Not that she knows the full story or even Ander’s side of the story for that matter. Ander never told him the full story and in the snippets of information he gave her, he never implicated Omar and was very careful not to give Rebeka the impression that Omar was in the wrong with what he did.

“Who told you that I was back?” Omar asked her.

“Samuel. He called me last night, I guess after you left his place. He told me you’re back and asked me if I knew about what happened with you and Ander.” She answered.

“Aah. Glad to know you and Samu’s okay now, you know after everything that happened the last time.” He said, attempting to change the subject maybe, even though he knew it’s a futile attempt.

Rebeka did not bite. “You know Ander never really told me what happened with you two. He told me bits and pieces, told me that he drove you away by lying about cheating on you with that Alexis dude though he never really told me why he did it. Just told me that it ended up being the best for you, your future, or whatnot being in New York and all. He always ended his stories trying to assure me that you did no wrong, like he did not want me to change how I see you.”

Rebeka was looking straight at Omar’s eyes and she saw his eyes got wet with tears before he looked down and took a deep breath.

She continued, “I did not force him to tell me, I couldn’t. That was before he went into remission and he did not have a lot of energy and strength to pretty much do anything. I did not want him to be sad and even weaker than he already was so when I went and visit him, usually when Guzman had to be somewhere else to do some errands and stuff, I just tried to entertain him and make him laugh however way I could or most of the time I just sat there with him. He slept a lot then, but it was okay, you know, just wanted to let him feel that he’s not alone.”

Omar was already crying then, hands covering his face, probably picturing what Rebeka just said. It was not a pretty sight to picture for sure, just thinking about it brings tears to Rebeka’s eyes too but she wanted Omar to know. She wanted Omar to picture it. A dying, sick, physically and emotionally drained Ander. Guzman was right, Omar did not get to see that, but they did. Maybe a part of her wanted Omar to hurt for hurting Ander that much.

“That summer, after everything that happened with Polo and you guys left, Samuel got to visit his mother and brother in Morocco. It was good for him, I mean, he had a shitty year one after another so yeah it was good for him, plus he was pining for the _marquesita_.” Rebecca scoffed at that and Omar looked at her funny. He knew she pined for Samuel all those times too.

“Anyway, I stayed around that summer, didn’t really feel like going on a vacation somewhere and seemed like a lot of people mourning around me that I wanted to help. I befriended Cayetana, she was mourning for Polo. I stayed for Ander too, he did not really take Polo’s death easily as expected, well he was his best friend too and he did try to protect and help Polo until the end. It was not easy for him and it scared him, he told me, seeing Polo die scared him of dying too.” Rebeka saw Omar looked away and shook his head, like he was remembering something too painful and trying to will it away.

She continued, “Guzman, Guzman stayed that summer too. He moved in at Ander’s for that summer to help Ander’s mom. He helped take care of Ander and went with Ander and his mother to all of their doctor’s appointments. He was there for Ander and he saw it all, Ander’s pain from the cancer, from losing Polo, and from you leaving him. He heard his cries and even took his brunt of anger sometimes. Guzman earned my respect then, you know, because he did it all while he was mourning himself. While being afraid himself that he would lose someone he loves again, that his other best friend would die on him too.”

“Ander is very lucky too have Guzman as a friend. He’s very lucky to have you too.” Omar softly said.

“Yeah, you’re right so I’m sorry but I couldn’t really blame Guzman for going at you like that. To be honest, I wanted to punch you too, but your face is too beautiful to break so I decided not to.” Rebeka said that made Omar smile a little through his tears. She punched him lightly on his arms.

“You are my friend too, Omar. You’re still my friend. I guess, I just wanted to understand how you could have done it to Ander, you know. How could you have cheated on him? I know Ander is not perfect, far from it and he had treated you like shit at one point or another, but still I don’t think he deserves to be cheated on especially at that point in his life. You cheated on him and left him at the time that he needed you the most. It was cruel and was so out of your character Omar that I had a hard time believing it.”

Omar hang his head in shame. “I don’t know Rebe. I was selfish and only thinking of myself.”

“Ander was under the impression that you were inlove with Malick, you know that?” Rebeka said accusingly.

“When we first got to New York, as planned, I lived with Malick. In our first week there, he told me that Ander had confronted him about me and him. I didn’t know how Ander found out ---”

Rebeka cut him off. “Guzman told me Ander saw Malick’s text messages to you. Malick was asking you to leave Ander, implied that Ander had became your prison.” Her tone hardened at that.

“I did not know that Ander knew and that he confronted Malick at Yeray’s pool party until we were already in New York. Malick told me that Ander asked him how he felt about me and told him that it was more than just sex and that he thinks that I felt the same way. He told Ander that staying with him was hard for me. I was so mad at Malick when he told me that. He was not in the position to answer for me. He did not have any right to tell Ander that especially because it was not true. Yes, it was hard for me at that time but I never wanted to leave him because of that and the thing with Malick was nothing but just a hookup. It was just sex, I…I…I…”

“…that’s not what Ander said though. He said that you yourself said that it was just more than a hookup with you.” Rebeka argued.

“What? I never told him that. I never said that to him.” Omar was confused, he looked like he was trying to remember if he did say that to Ander.

“He heard you tell Malick that. In the school’s bathroom after the graduation ceremony. You were talking to Malick about leaving to New York with him. Ander was right outside, he said he was going to follow you and try to talk to you then, but he heard you talking to Malick.” Rebeka explained.

Omar was dumbfounded. “He heard that? Ander heard all that? Oh…I ---- Rebe ---- I…I…”

“So what is the truth then, Omar? Did you have or did you have not feelings with Malick? Well, Guzman told me that he knew from Nadia that you are no longer together with him but what we knew was you were with him when you left and first got to New York.”

“Rebe, Malick and I were never together. We…”

She raised her eyebrows at that.

“What I said that Ander heard, I said that because I felt like I had to say that. I was forcing myself to believe that there was something because heck, I’m leaving with him to another country. I don’t know but I felt desperate at that time. I did not graduate and I did not know what future I would have if I stayed here then. But it was not true, and as fucked up as it was, even when I was fu….ahh…fucking Malick I have never stopped loving Ander, Rebe. Not one bit.” Omar explained, desperate for Rebeka to understand.

“Well that was a funny way of showing it.” Rebe scoffed.

“After Malick told me all that, I told him that we never will be together. Told him that I still love Ander and that I will always do. I moved out of his place the first chance I got and never spoke to him again. After that, I put all the pieces together, it seems like I was in a trance and was suddenly woken up. I realized that all the fucked up thing that I did to Ander. Cheating on him, believing that he could even cheat on me at that state, I was stupid. So, so stupid. Stupid and proud. I used that to justify what I did, made myself believe that I was the one who was wronged. Thought like it was Ander’s choice to get sick and make things hard for both of us. Fooled myself into believing that leaving him was the right thing to do, that it was what I wanted to do” Omar buried his face into his arms that were leaning on the table, crying.

Rebeka watched her friend cry. She felt bad for him, she could tell that he is suffering, that his guilt is eating him away. How she wished that the circumstances were different.

“You know Ander told me that he cheated on you with Polo once.”

Omar scoffed, “That was ages ago and it was nothing compared to what I did. We haven’t even really defined our relationship then because I was not really out to my family yet plus they didn’t really have sex, they were just what Ander and Polo called friends that jerk off together or something.”

“Yeah it was lame compared to what you did but it was still hot. Polo, bless his soul, was one hot guy and you know I’ve always found Ander hot and very attractive.” She joked, trying to lighten up the conversation.

Omar threw the coffee stirrer at Rebe, smiling now “hey, I’m right here bitch!”

“Don’t worry I get hot thinking of being in the middle of an Omar and Ander sandwich too.” She winked at Omar. Glad that she made Omar smile, even just a little.

“Do you think Ander will ever forgive me, Rebe? Do you think he will ever take me back?” He asked her, voice soft and hesitant.

Just like Guzman, she thinks that Ander would forgive Omar in a heartbeat, heck, for Ander there’s even nothing to forgive because to him Omar did not do anything wrong. But…

“Omar you see, Ander is…”

Omar’s phone rang at the same time. He looked at her and she nodded at him to answer it.

“It was my mother. She was asking where I was, uh they have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon so they need me to go back now to watch the store so they could leave. Sorry Rebe…”

“No, it’s fine, _cari_. We’ll talk again soon. Go, don’t make your parents wait.” Rebeka stood up and give Omar a hug and a kiss.

“Thank you Rebe for… for everything. I’ll talk to you again soon.” Omar said and left.

Rebeka sat down and watched Omar leave. She was happy to talk to Omar again and glad that Omar was able to talk to her. She felt sad for him and her heart broke seeing him cry but it broke more knowing that it definitely would not be the last of his tears.


	4. Shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart is so happy for the appreciation that this fanfic receives. Here's another chapter and I hope you all would like it.
> 
> I hate to introduce a new character but it's quite necessary for the story so please bear with me. Also, this chapter and the title was inspired by the song "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday. Good song and it so fits Omar in this fic. 
> 
> Happy reading everyone! :-)

_“Omar, Polo’s dead. I’ve been talking about death for months. The more I talked about it, the less I feared it. But now that I’ve seen it, I’m scared shitless”_

_“What can I do for you? What do you want? What do you need?”_

_“I need you.”_

_“If you wanted to get rid of me, congratulations. You did it.”_

_“I need you… I need you… I need you… I need you… I need you”_

Omar woke up suddenly. Disoriented and frantic, he looked around his room. It had felt so real that he actually thought he was transported back to that fateful night in Teatro Barcelo. He had been having that same dream for a few consecutive nights since the confrontation with Guzman and his conversation with Rebeka that he didn’t have to touch his eyes to know that he’s been crying in his sleep.

He could still feel the weight of Ander’s head on his shoulder, could still see his crying face as he stood up and left him, and could still hear Ander’s cry to him of “I need you”. It keeps on ringing to his ears, haunting him, taunting him.

Omar remembered what Guzman said that he should thank his God that Ander went in remission and he does, every day. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what would have happened to him otherwise. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

He took a deep breath to try to calm his heart that was still beating too fast from the dream. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was still too early for him to get up and go to the store, but he decided to get up anyway, he was afraid to go back to sleep and dream of the same dream. 

His parents were already awake when he got up. His mother prepared breakfast for him to eat while his father had already opened their store. After breakfast he went out to the store and help his father with the deliveries for the day. He worked quietly, stacking up shelves and lining produce while his mind was running a mile a minute. Things that Guzman and Rebeka said to him playing in his head over and over again and whenever his gaze would fall at the corner across their store, he would stop and blink. He could still clearly see Ander standing there in his Las Encinas uniform, hands in his pocket, looking at him from afar. Waiting to claim his 10 minutes with him.

Omar could hear his father humming while working and it had become a welcome noise to him, comforting even. But, what Omar didn’t know was that his father was silently watching him, observing him. The sad look on his face not going past his father’s eyes.

…..

_Yusef_

Yusef is worried about his son. Since he saw Omar broke down that night to his mother, he’s gotten even more worried. The morning after that night, Omar acted like nothing happened. He tried to show them a happy face, but they knew better. Yusef could see it all in his son’s eyes. Sadness, loneliness, and melancholy. All showing in Omar’s eyes. Sometimes it even looks empty, dead and it scares him. He also catches Omar zoning out, just staring at the corner across their store, like he’s seeing something that wasn’t there. Just like now.

“Omar, _mijo_?” He tried to get his son’s attention from whatever he seemed to be looking at outside.

“Yes, Baba?” Omar answered, startled.

“Umm, I am just wondering what your plans are, you know, I mean do you plan on going back to college or something?” He asked, desperate for Omar to talk to him and tell him anything.

“You and Mama need my help here. That is the main reason why I came back home, Baba so I can help you here ---”

“Omar, no. You can’t stop studying, I mean you shouldn’t, yes shouldn’t. You shouldn’t stop going to college or stop living your life just to help us out here. We do not expect it from you and your mother and I certainly do not want it for you. We want you to have a good future, Omar”. Yusef explained, putting his hand on Omar’s shoulder.

“Baba, looking after our store, our business, and helping you guys out does not mean I will not have a good future.” Omar protested.

“Right but what I mean is a better future. Look, all I’m saying is why don’t you give it a look. I mean, maybe you can look around the nearby universities and inquire. See if they are offering courses that you’re interested in or you can continue what you started in New York. If you still want to help us here in the store, then you can just go the nearest university, like the one that Samuel goes to.” Yusef suggested to Omar.

_“University that Samuel goes to? The same university that Ander attends.”_ Omar thought. He may be afraid to see Ander again, but he can’t deny that it’s a pleasant thought to see Ander again everyday, even from afar. But, at the same time remembered Guzman’s words, _“Stay away from Ander, entiendes?”_

Omar shook his head.

“Look son, just think about it or just humor me and your mother, alright?” Yusef insisted. Omar may always have been a quiet child, at least around them, but he could see determination and passion in him before, and it all seems to be gone now. He doesn’t see any fire in his son’s eyes anymore and it worries him to no end.

“Also, I would just like to say again that I am sorry about that boy…”

Omar raised his brows at him. Challenging him to say the right words.

“I mean your boyfriend ---” Omar cut him off.

“Ex-boyfriend, Baba.”

“Oh. So, the more that I am sorry then Omar.”

“Baba, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Please don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t you that broke us up. It turned out I would be the one to break us up and ruin everything for the two of us.”

“Excuse me Baba, I think I heard Mama calling me. I’ll go and see what she needs.” Omar put down the box he was holding and walked to the inside of their home.

Yusef shook his head. He did not hear Iman calling Omar but he knew Omar just did not want to talk about Ander, to him especially. He understands, he knew his son was hurting and it saddened him that he couldn’t do anything about it but to offer a prayer for his son to stop hurting and be happy again.

….

_Azucena_

Azucena was browsing the bookstore shelves for a new book to buy and read when she saw a familiar face on the adjacent aisle doing the same thing. She did a double take as she was not expecting to see the boy. She did not even know that he came back from New York. She decided to approach him, she didn’t see any harm in doing so and she really would like to know how the boy, who she did see as his son at one point, is doing.

“Omar?”

She could see Omar froze upon hearing her voice. It took a few seconds before he turned around and face her, taking a deep breath first like he’s mustering courage to face her.

“Azucena! _Buenas dias. Cómo estás?_ ” Omar greeted her, a hesitant smile on his face.

She held Omar’s both arms and gave him a kiss on both cheeks. “Oh Omar it is really you. I’m good, I’m good and I’m really happy to see you again.”

Omar looked down and sheepishly said “I’m happy to see you too Azucena”.

“Look, if you’re done here and don’t have anywhere to go to after, would you like to have lunch with me? Yeah, so we can catch up? You can tell me about New York and update me also about Nadia and Lu. What do you say?” She invited him.

“Uhmm…”

She saw Omar looked behind her and his eyes quickly roam around the place, like he was looking for something or someone.

“It’s just gonna be you and me, don’t worry. So, lunch?” She asked him again.

“Sure, I would like that Azucena.” Omar said and smiled at her.

…..

They went to a small restaurant near the bookstore. When they were seated and had given their orders, Azucena said “I was supposed to meet and have lunch with Ander today but he sent me a message when I was already here that he forgot that he had to help his bo---…. his friend today so he couldn’t do lunch with me today. You know that boy, always forgetful.”

Omar awkwardly laughed and Azucena internally chastised herself for mentioning Ander that early into their conversation and hoped that Omar did not notice her slip of the tongue.

“So anyway, when did you get back? Are you here on a vacation or back for good?” She asked to cover up her faux pas.

Their food came and they ate it while Omar answered her questions about what he’s up to, about his, Nadia’s, and Lu’s life in New York. Azucena can sense that Omar was uncomfortable and couldn’t look her in the eye so she was lost as to how she could bring Ander up in to their conversation. It came as a surprise to her when Omar was the first to ask about Ander.

“Uhm, how is Ander doing?” Omar asked, voice so soft she almost did not hear it.

“He’s doing good. The doctors said he has fully recovered. There are always worry and a little bit of fear when he goes to the doctor for his regular checkup, but we are thankful that he has been cleared every time and they said that a big chance that it would always be the case.” She happily told him.

“That’s very good to hear. I, uh I mean we uh, Nadia, Lu, and I were so happy when we heard that he was already in remission and I’m glad to hear now that he has fully recovered.” Omar sincerely said. She could see the tenderness in his eyes as he spoke.

“We were all very happy too. The time when he was sick, those were such dark times. You know that we were no way at all religious but that time, after a long time I found myself praying to all the gods that would listen to heal him and I am very, very thankful that my prayers were answered.” Azucena couldn’t help but get teary-eyed each time she remembered the times that she thought she would lose her son.

“Azucena, I would like to say sorry to you for what I did to Ander. For abandoning him, abandoning you during those dark times. I was not strong enough to handle it, to suffer alongside him, and I—I uh did unspeakable things. I am so, so sorry…” Omar said with shaky voice and watery eyes.

Azucena took a deep breath before speaking. “Ander never really told me what happened to the two of you. I asked him but all he told me was that you left. Never told me why, just that it was better that you left. It was what’s best for you. Guzman was the one who told me what happened. I asked him.”

“I am really, really sorry Azucena. What I did to Ander was inexcusable.” Omar said again, head bowed down in shame.

She reached across the table and held Omar’s hand. “Omar, I was not mad at you. I was hurt, yes because I saw how hurt Ander was when you left. He was suffering on top of the pain from the cancer. Guzman and I, we were very scared that Ander would snap and just give up. I am Ander’s mother and whatever hurts him, hurts me. Sometimes even double the pain. But, I was never mad at you and Ander made sure that it would stay that way. You were all too young then and when I think of what you kids has gone through, I thought that you kids had been immersed in to stuff that was all just too much to handle for kids your age. You all made mistakes and screwed up at one point because you kids understandably did not know any better how to handle the cards that was dealt to you.”

Omar looked up. His face red and blotchy from crying. “I do not deserve your understanding and definitely not Ander’s forgiveness, but thank you Azucena. Thank you.”

“You know, I am proud to say that Ander had matured quite a lot in the past years and when he went into remission and started recovering, I noticed that his disposition started to brighten. It may be because he almost died but he seemed to have a more positive outlook in life now. Gone was the chip on his shoulder and the angst that he had when he was a teenager. He’s living in the moment and just carefree and contented. Why don’t you try to talk to him, Omar? Ask for his forgiveness if you need to, not that I think it’s needed as far as Ander is concern. You could never do wrong in Ander’s eyes, Omar. I am certain that he still thinks the same way.”

“I do not deserve it, Azucena and truth is I am scared. I’m scared that I might take all that away from him, that I will taint his happiness and suck him in again to negativity. So, can I ask you for a favor? Please do not tell Ander that you saw me and talked to me.” Omar asked her.

“Omar but…”

“Azucena, _por favor?_ I know that sooner or later he would know that I’m back but until then please can we keep this between us? I promise I will muster enough courage to talk to him. I just hope that he could forgive me when I do.” He begged.

“Alright but Omar _when_ you talk to Ander and he forgives you, which I know he would, promise me that you would start to forgive yourself too, _vale?_ ” They both stood up. She went to him and hugged him. She felt Omar hugged him back tight.

She clearly does not know what the future holds for her son and Omar, she does not know if they will find their way back to each other. All she knew was that Ander and Omar both deserve to be happy. As she hugged Omar, Azucena couldn’t help but wish for the happiness that these two precious boys rightly deserve, may it be with each other or with other people. It doesn’t matter to her as long as her boys are both happy.

…..

_Samuel/Guzman_

Samuel’s getting ready to go out and meet Ander and Guzman to a bar uptown. Ander sent a message to both him and Guzman the other day, inviting them to hang out and try the new bar that just opened in the elite part of the town.

He was about to leave when there was a knock at his door. He opened it and was surprised to see Guzman there. “I thought we were just gonna meet at the bar.”

Guzman walked in the house and sat on the couch. “Well, I thought we’d just go together. Save money and share a cabify instead.”

“Really or you just want to make sure that I won’t be bringing Omar with me tonight to meet Ander?” Samuel said pointedly.

“Well that too. Also, it would be great if you don’t mention anything about Omar, especially that he is back, to Ander tonight or you know, ever.” Guzman unashamedly said.

“Guzman…”

Guzman cut Samuel off, “Look man, Ander is in a very good place in his life right now. He’s not sick, not keeping any deep, dark secret, not in any trouble. He’s happy and carefree. Why tell him something that will disrupt that? I know Ander, once he found out that Omar’s back, he would wanna see him and talk to him. I’m worried that it would just bring him unnecessary stress and trouble.”

“How can you be sure that it would cause stress and trouble to Ander? You don’t know, it may give him that final piece of closure that he didn’t know he needed. And, you know eventually he will know that Omar’s back, whether he found out from us or not. Heck, you don’t know but Rebeka may have already told him that.”

“No, I already talked to Rebe. She wouldn’t say anything. Look Samuel, you knew that if the roles were reversed, you would be asking me the same thing and like what you said, eventually they would see each other again maybe. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there but until then, I would really appreciate it if you don’t say anything to Ander. _Por favor_ , Samu.”

Samuel sighed. He just didn’t know what to say anymore.

…..

Ander was already in the bar when Samuel and Guzman got there. They exchanged manly hugs and ordered their drinks.

“Ander, where’s Luis? Is he joining us tonight?” Guzman asked Ander.

“He’s out with his other friends. It’s just the 3 of us tonight man, it’s been a while since we hang out together.” Ander said before drinking from his bottle.

They talked about school and stuff. Samuel tried to join in the conversation, but it was hard for him. Not telling Ander about Omar was really bothering him.

“Hey Samu, you’re awfully quiet. _Que pasa, macho?_ ” Ander asked him.

Guzman gave him a side-eye glance.

“Nothing, man. Just wanting school to be over so we can take a break. I may have saved-up enough money to visit Carla if she would not come home for the summer.” He answered.

“That’s great, Samu. Me, I’m going to see Nadia. She can’t come home yet so I’ll be the one to go to her. Saved up for it the whole year. I can’t wait!” Guzman said. “How about you, Ander? What’s your plan for the summer?”

“Well, no concrete plans yet but Luis and I were talking about going on a vacation somewhere. Just don’t know where yet…”

Guzman stood up. “Hold that thought, I need to take a leak. I’ll be back.”

When Guzman was out of earshot Ander turned to Samuel, “Hey, Samu. Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me man, right? What’s bothering you?”

Samuel did not answer right away. He took a gulp from his bottle and fiddled with the label after. Ander just looked at him, waiting patiently for him to say something.

“Ander, have you ever thought of Omar? I mean, has he ever crossed your mind again? Fuck, I mean do you think still think of him sometimes?” Samuel asked him.

Ander was surprised. He did not expect Samuel to ask him that. It seemed so random and out of the blue. He didn’t even remember ever talking about Omar with Samuel. He cleared his throat, “Umm, yeah I guess? I mean, _si claro_. But, why are you asking? What brought this on?”

“Uhmm…” Samuel saw Guzman heading back to them. “Nothing, man. Just don’t mind me, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

Ander looked at him skeptically, he wanted to ask him more, but Guzman was already got in between him and Samu.

“So where are we at? Oh right, your first summer vacation with Luis. Man, that would be exciting. You have so many choices to choose from.” Guzman said, excited for his best friend.

“It’s my turn to go to the loo. I’ll be right back.” Samuel said and stood up.

Guzman nodded his head at Samuel and then turned to Ander. He started enumerating the places he and Luis can go to for the summer, but Ander was barely listening. His mind was still on the strange conversation he had with Samuel.

Samuel was acting strange and Ander couldn’t help but think that it had something to do with Omar.

Omar.

Like a can of worms opened, Ander could not stop thinking of Omar now.

_“Could it be that Omar’s back?”_ , Ander thought. But if yes, what would he even do about it?


	5. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it over yet?  
> Can I open my eyes?  
> Is this as hard as it gets?  
> Is this what it feels like to really cry?"
> 
> \- Cry by Kelly Clarkson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for still reading and commenting on my works. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I hope that I was able to convey the emotions that I wanted to convey in this chapter. This was a little painful for me to write because I tried to remember some painful memories of loving someone who loves somebody else in order to evoke the right feelings and emotions to the story. I even watched again the Omander parts of Elite 3x07 to get inspiration and that episode always make me cry (btw, seriously Aron is such an amazing actor that when he cries, I cry too). 
> 
> This chapter was also inspired by 2 songs: Happier by Ed Sheeran and Cry by Kelly Clarkson. Listen to them for more feels.
> 
> So here you go. I hope you like it.

_Omar._

“Omar, Rebeka’s here now.” Omar heard his father calling him. He decided to humor his parents and look around the university and see if there’s something he’ll be interested in studying. Well, for him, he thinks he have to ask around first if he could even get in the university. He was already nervous and scared of just stepping out of the house, how much more to go the university that Ander goes to so he asked Rebeka if she could go with him.

He’s been back for almost a month now but other than the one time that he saw Ander in the bar where he was going to meet Samu, their paths has not crossed again yet. Omar doesn’t even think that Ander knows he’s back. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to see Ander again although he doesn’t really know what he would say to Ander if he would be given a chance to talk to him again. He does not have the courage to face him and beg for his forgiveness, but he would be contented to just see him from afar. See him smile, laugh, or just simply exist and he would be happy. Omar missed Ander so much and it’s so strange that he missed him even more now that he’s back home and breathing the same air as Ander’s than he did when he was still in New York.

He heard Rebeka talking to his parents, so he hurried up and step out to their store quickly before she managed to say something weird or incriminating to his parents unintentionally in true Rebeka fashion.

“Dude, finally. I thought you’re putting on a wedding gown or something the way it was taking you so long. Not that he’s into cross-dressing Mr. and Mrs. Shanaa ---”

“Oh---kay and we’re leaving. Baba, Mama we have to go now. I’ll see you later. Bye.” Omar cut off Rebeka, pushing her out of the door.

“Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Shanaa!” Rebeka waved at his parents.

“Oh Rebe, what would I do with you?” He said, shaking his head.

“What? What did I say?” She asked, genuinely confused.

Omar laughed. “Nothing, c’mon let’s make me a university student.”

…..

“Okay, this is the Admissions Office. So, just go in there and I’m sure someone will assist you. I just have to take this one final exam then I will meet you after, okay?” Rebeka told Omar.

“Okay, Rebe. I’ll be fine. Go now before you become late for your exam. I’ll see you after.” Omar shooed Rebeka away.

She started walking to her classroom and then she turned around “Omar if you finish there before me, there are benches in that beautiful lawn outside. I’ll look for you there.”

“Sure. Go now Rebe! Good luck!” Omar answered, chuckling.

He went inside the office and was quickly assisted by one of the staff. He was pointed to one of the computer terminals in the office where he can view the university’s offerings via their own portal. They also handed him different brochures, forms, and lists of requirements he needed to submit for admission. The process did not take that long and he was finished before Rebeka finished her exams so as she has told him, he went ouside the open lawn right in front to wait for her.

He had noticed it when they first got there, and he found it beautiful. It reminded him of Central Park in New York, though of course, it’s comparatively small compared to the massive park. He sat on one of the many benches under a big tree. There were a lot of students of course sprawled on the grass, with their books open and some with their headphones on. Some are in big groups, some in small groups of 3, or couples studying while stealing kisses in between. There are also students who were there by themselves, like the one handsome guy who’s sitting on the grass a little farther away from where Omar was sitting, headphones on but with an open book on his lap.

Omar closed his eyes. He could picture himself here, studying in this exact spot like all of those other students. To be honest, he misses studying and he does want to finish college.

He opened his eyes and his eyes passed the guy who was studying by himself, but the guy was no longer alone. He’s now sitting with another guy. Sitting and kissing another guy, a guy with the curls and side profile Omar was achingly so familiar with.

…..

Omar felt as though somebody poured a bucket of ice-cold water and a pot boiling water on him at the same time. His insides felt like it was swimming in an icy lake and a raging river of lava. He tried to look away from the painful sight of Ander kissing someone who was not him the same way that he used to kiss him, but he couldn’t.

He was frozen, he couldn’t move. He’s stuck, eyes glued on Ander kissing another guy. They were sitting on the grass, close and facing each other. The guy’s legs on top of Ander’s, encasing him. Omar closed his eyes and he was momentarily transported back to that one Thursday sunny afternoon in Ander’s old bedroom on Ander’s bed. They were in the same exact position as Ander and the guy’s in at the moment, only Ander and he did have not one stitch of clothing on them. Omar’s hands wrapped around Ander’s neck and Ander’s hands cradling his face.

_“Te quiero”_ Ander told him.

It was the first time that they had been intimate and was the first time that Ander had told him he loves him. He was surprised. He was not expecting that Ander would tell him that or that Ander already felt that deeply for him. How Omar wish he could go back to that time. Back then, it felt like the world was conspiring against them. His parents were going to marry him off to some Muslim girl and it surely felt like he had the biggest problem than anyone else in the world, yet he would still choose to go back to that very moment with Ander than to be in the present and watch Ander be with someone else who was not him.

Is it over? Can he open his eyes now? Omar opened his eyes and hoped that it was all a figment of his imagination and that when he looked, the guy would be alone again, and Ander was not there kissing him. But of course, it was real, Ander was still there, his right hand cradling the guy’s face the same way that he used to do to him. The guy was running his hands through Ander’s curls just like Omar used to do. It was his curls to touch, not that guy’s or anyone else’s.

Omar wanted to scream, to rip that guy’s hands off Ander’s curls, pull Ander off that guy and glue him to his side instead. He wanted to yell, kick, punch, and throw a tantrum like a little child whose favorite toy was taken away.

They were talking about something, he was too far away from them to hear. Eyes locked on each other, wrapped in their own bubble. Ander laughed. Omar hasn’t seen or heard him laugh for a long time. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen Ander laugh like that. He looked happy. He’s happy without him. Another man is making Ander smile, laugh, happy and it was not him.

They shared kisses in between their conversation. Of course, Ander loves kissing. That was one of the many things Omar found endearing about Ander. He loved kissing Omar, whether in public or private. He initiated their first kiss and almost all the kisses that they have shared after that. Even when he was not yet out to the world, Ander always wanted and tried to kiss him in front of everyone. He loved kissing him but now he loved kissing somebody else.

Omar thought he knew what pain is. He thought that he knew what real pain felt like that, but he thought wrong because the pain he’s feeling now, seeing Ander with somebody else, is the most painful thing he ever felt. He could physically feel his heart break into a thousand pieces, and he didn’t understand how it was possible. How could a heart that was already broken break even more?

He felt a tap on his shoulder, startling him. It was Rebeka.

“Omar, _lo siento chico_. It was a fucking difficult test and I studied but ---- “Rebeka stopped mid-sentence when she saw Omar’s crying face.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? Omar what happened? “She sat beside Omar and held him. When she left him in the Admission’s Office, he was fine. What could have happened in that very short time? That’s when she saw them. Ander with his new boyfriend Luis.

“Oh, Omar…”

“Rebe, I can’t be here. Please, let’s go. Please…”

…..

Omar did not want to go home yet. He can’t go home yet, not in the state that he was in. His parents could not see him like that, or they will worry and fuss over him. He did not want his parents to worry about him, they already have a lot of things in their mind and he did not want to add to it. So, he asked Rebeka if they could go to her place for a bit until he calms down. If, he would ever calm down. Plus, he needed a drink very badly.

Rebeka brought out a bottle of hard liquor from their liquor cabinet. She knew that wine or champagne would not cut it in situations like this. She poured both of them a glass and sat there in silence, waiting for Omar to speak. Aside from choked sobs, Omar hasn’t said a word since they got to the house.

He was already on his 4th glass when he turned to Rebeka and asked, “Did you know?”

It startled Rebeka, “Omar, I ----”

“No, of course you know. You and Ander are like besties. Do you know the guy?” Omar did not really know why he was asking Rebeka these questions.

“Omar, believe me I was gonna tell you when we first met again but then you had to leave and if I was going to be honest, I do not know how to tell you.” Rebeka tried explaining to her.

Omar just nodded. What right does he have to get mad at Rebeka or Samuel for not telling him that Ander already found somebody new, that Ander has a new boyfriend, that he had been replaced in his life? Just thinking about it brought fresh tears in his eyes.

“Do you know him?” He asked Rebe again.

Rebeka looked down and nodded her head yes. “The 3 of us shared a few classes together, freshman year. He approached us on the first day of classes. He was friendly, laughing and joking with us. By the end of the day, we found ourselves drinking beer in the bar near the campus. We hang out together all the time after that. Guzman and Samuel joined us too. We kind of have an idea that he likes Ander more than a friend, but I promise you that we did not push him to pursue Ander or vise versa.”

Omar scoffed at that, maybe Rebe and Samuel did not but he doubts Guzman did not push the guy to Ander, especially if the guy was as great as he was seeming to be. He knew Guzman was mad at him because of what he did to Ander so he would want Ander to move on from him. And, it hurts to know that Ander’s best friend was not on his side.

“It surprised me when they told me that they’re together. I knew Luis, uhm…that’s his name, I knew he likes Ander, but I was not sure if Ander felt the same way. It took him a while before he finally decided to give Luis a chance.” Rebeka continued.

Luis. Omar now knows the name that Ander utters in conversations, the name that he introduces to people as his boyfriend. It is now the name that he says before or after I love you, the name that he calls and grunts as he cum.

Another fresh bout of tears.

“Is he good to him?”

Rebeka nodded.

“Is Ander happy?” He had to know.

“Omar, don’t…”

“Is he happy Rebeka?” He asked again, his voice harder and louder. He needed to know that. “Happier?”

“Omar don’t do this to yourself. Do not compare. Your circumstances were different, when you were together a lot of fucked up shit was happening that was affecting your relationship. You were not out yet to your family, Ander having the burden of keeping Polo’s secret, and then he had cancer. The two of you had been through too much but that doesn’t mean Ander was not happy with you.” Rebeka tried convincing him.

Omar shook his head, “Is he happy Rebeka?!”

Rebeka sighed and said “Yes I, uh I think he’s happy.”

He let out a breath that he did not know he was holding. Voice shaking and eyes blurring, he looked at Rebeka and told her, “Good. That’s what’s important, that he is happy. His happiness is what matters the most to me.”

“It was stupid you know. I was stupid. I was so focused on my guilt, on how I do not deserve Ander’s forgiveness, on how I do not deserve him, that the idea of Ander finding someone new did not even cross my mind.”

He poured himself another drink and drank it all in one gulp. “Or…or…maybe it was there at the back of my mind, but I was in such a denial that I refused to think about it and acknowledge it.”

Rebeka was quietly listening, watching Omar and letting him talk and vent out emotions and feelings he seemed to be keeping inside him for so long.

Omar stood up, glass still in hand. “No, no, no…it was not that. You know what, I was just that arrogant and full of myself, too full of myself that I did not even think that Ander will find someone new eventually. Of course, he would, right? Fuck, Ander’s one of the most attractive guy I’ve ever met. Right, Rebe? Even you find him attractive and you would surely fuck him if you’re given a chance.”

He started pacing back and forth while talking. Pointing his hands at Rebeka, drink splashing from his glass. “Anyone would want to be with Ander. Fucking Polo, I’m sure if Ander was not just a faithful guy and had given into Polo, he probably would have fucked him and maybe had gotten into a relationship with him. See, anyone would want to be with him, and I was a stupid fool to not have thought of that and of how I’m that big of an idiot to cheat on him and left him. And for what? For nothing! _Nada!_ ”

Omar slumped back in the couch and dropped his glass on the carpeted floor, spilling its content. “Now he’s with somebody else. Kissing somebody else, fucking somebody else, loving somebody else.” A loud sob came out of his mouth after that realization.

Rebeka stood up quickly and sat beside Omar, gathering him into her arms. “It hurts so much Rebe. It’s killing me inside. I can’t take it anymore. Please make it stop Rebe. I still love him so much, I never stopped. Bring Ander back to me Rebe _por favor_. He belongs to me. Please, please, please…”

…..

Empty bottles rolled on the floor as Omar went through each and every bottle of alcohol he and Rebeka drank, trying to find one that was not yet empty. He wanted to drink some more. He did not know how many bottles they have drank, he’s not sober enough anymore to count the bottles but he’s not drunk enough yet. Rebeka was already passed out on the couch so he would have to drink by himself. Well, more for him then. He didn’t want to stop drinking until he was shit-faced drunk. As long as he still remembers the fact that Ander is already with somebody else, kissing, fucking or being fucked --- whatever floats Ander’s boat now, he decided he will drink.

_“Only an idiot would let something too perfect slip away.”_

Until he still hear those words from Ander in his head, he would still drink. It was a reminder to him of what he really is. An idiot. That’s what he is, an idiot for letting Ander slip away from him.

He is longing for him so, so much. He wanted to be with him again, kiss him, talk to him. Hear his voice again whispering to his ears. He took out his phone. He looked at it and dialed the number that even drunk he still knew by heart.

The phone rang on the other line just when he put it on his ear, startling him. It rang several times and then…

“Hello?” It was Ander. Of course, it was Ander, he called his phone. His voice was deep and raspy like how Omar could recall the many mornings he was greeted by that same voice.

“Hello?...” Ander spoke again, the sound of his voice bringing back so many memories to Omar.

Omar gripped his phone tightly to his ear. Small broken sounds came out of his lips.

“A—Ander…” Omar stuttered. His voice cracked.

Voice sounding more awake, he heard Ander answered.

“Omar?” 


	6. Mal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ander found out that Omar was back. What does he feel? What would he do about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we would be hearing from Ander. Hope you'd like it.
> 
> Since this is the first chapter on Ander's POV, the chapter was entitled "Mal" inspired by Aron's latest song with the same title. I love the song and I love Aron too.
> 
> Anyway, here you go. Enjoy!

_“Hello?” It was Ander. Of course, it was Ander, he called his phone. His voice was deep and raspy like how Omar could recall the many mornings he was greeted by that same voice._

_“Hello?...” Ander spoke again, the sound of his voice bringing back so many memories to Omar._

_Omar gripped his phone tightly to his ear. Small broken sounds came out of his lips._

_“A—Ander…” Omar stuttered. His voice cracked._

_Voice sounding more awake, he heard Ander answered._

_“Omar?”_

_(Ander)_

“Hello? Omar? Is that you?” Ander sat up, heart pounding on hearing Omar’s voice on the other line. He started walking on the balcony outside his bedroom.

He did not get a response.

“Hello? Omar?” He asked again but still no answer. He looked at his phone and saw that the call was already ended. He looked at his received calls to check the number of the last call he received. It was a local mobile number. The call came from a Spanish mobile phone number. He redialed it.

_“The number you dialed is now unattended or out of coverage area. Please try again later.”_

Ander tried again but got the same recorded message. He could have sworn that it was Omar though that called although all Omar said was his name. He may not have spoken to Omar for quite a while now, but he still knew his voice, he could still distinguish Omar’s voice even in a crowded room.

He was broken out of his reverie when he heard Luis called him from the inside of the room. “Babe? Come back to bed.”

He walked back inside, regretfully positive that Omar would no longer be calling again.

“Why are you up babe? What time is it?” Luis asked him, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s just 2 A.M. My phone rang and I did not want to wake you up, so I walked out to answer it.” He put his phone on the bedside table and laid back down on the bed. 

“Who was it?” Luis moved closer to him and cuddled with him, head on Ander’s chest and right arm wrapped around his middle.

Ander absent-mindedly put his arms around Luis and thumb rubbing his arm gently. “I don’t know. It was just a number and when I answered, uhm there was no response. Must be a wrong number or something.”

Lie _número uno._ Ander discreetly shook his head, trying to shake the guilty feeling off.

“Probably one of the many girls or guys whose hearts you unintentionally break drunk-calling you.” Luis joked. Pulling Ander closer to him.

Ander scoffed, “I got none of those”

“I doubt that. I’m sure there were quite a handful because I got the most handsome, smartest, and kindest boyfriend in the world. Sucks for them though ‘coz you’re mine now.” Luis said. He was holding his face in both his hands and kissed him on the lips.

Ander kissed him back but subtly pushed Luis away before the kiss get heated and lead to sex. He doesn’t think he’s in the right frame of mind to have sex with Luis at that moment. It didn’t seem right to him, not now when he’s still rattled from the unexpected and very brief phone call with Omar.

Chuckling he said, “Careful, I might start believing you and let it all get in my head. C’mon let’s go back to sleep. Remember, you promised you’re gonna have breakfast with your sister later.” He kissed Luis on the lips and told him goodnight.

Luis huffed, “Fine. Goodnight babe. I’ll see you in the morning.” Luis gave him another kiss on the lips and then turned on his side. His usual position going to sleep.

Ander laid awake even when he already heard Luis’ quietly snoring beside him. The moment that he heard Omar’s voice on the phone, he knew he would not be able to go back to sleep. There he was, laying on his side of the bed thinking of his ex-boyfriend while laying beside his current boyfriend. He felt like a scumbag and he hated it.

He scoffed at himself on the thought of “his side of the bed”. This was not really his side of the bed, he always prefers the right side of the bed for no particular reason but when Luis first slept over at his house and they were getting ready to go to bed, he told him that he sleeps on the left side of the bed. He wanted to lie to himself and told himself some other bullshit on why he just lied to his boyfriend about something as nonsense as on which side of the bed he sleeps in, but he knew that there was no other reason for him to lie about it but because of Omar.

After Omar left, Ander would lay down on his bed and he would always reach for Omar on his side. He used to cry himself to sleep longing for him, with his arm outstretched to the side where Omar used to sleep on and then he would wake up in the morning and would do the same thing. When he went in to remission and started recovering, he started to be able to go to sleep without crying himself to sleep and though he was still longing for Omar, he stopped reaching out to him on what used to be his side of the bed. Yet, when he had invited Luis to stay the night with him for the first time, he couldn’t let him sleep on that side. It did not feel right for him to wake up in the morning and see and reach out to somebody else on where Omar used to be.

Ander knew it was wrong and he did feel guilty feeling that way. He had to remind himself that Omar had left him and would probably never coming back to him anymore and there is this great guy who loves him and could probably love him so much more than Omar ever did. If he’d let him. That night, he had silently promised Luis that he would not let anything about Omar get in the way of their relationship. He would never hurt Luis and their relationship because of Omar.

But there he went, barely 5 minutes from knowing Omar was back in Spain and he was already lying to Luis. He hated it. He hated how shaken and rattled he was just by hearing Omar’s voice. He detested that after everything, Omar could still affect him like that and he resented that hearing Omar’s voice shaking and trembling, like he had been crying, still worried him a lot.

Omar. Omar had called him using a local number, so Ander was sure he was back. Ander thought he was just seeing things when he thought he saw Omar in a bar a few weeks back, granted it was only the back of the guy that he saw as the guy seemed to be rushing out the bar. But he thought he’d always knew that back.

Then the other day, he thought he saw Rebeka with a guy who looked like Omar. Add to that Samuel asking him about Omar out of the blue when they hang out the last time. He is back and their friends knew about it. Guzman probably knows too, and he was a hundred percent sure that he already knows why Guzman was not telling him about it. Everybody knows how protective Guzman could get.

If by any chance Guzman had no idea that Omar was back, Ander did not think it would be a good idea for him to know that Omar’s back then. Somehow, he knew it would not go well if he knew. He’s very grateful to Guzman, he took care of him when he was sick and he’s his best friend, but he would not let him hurt Omar, physically or verbally.

But, Rebeka and Samuel? Those two knew about it he was sure, and he would talk to them.

…..

Ander was not sure if what he was doing was right. He was on his way to pay Samuel a visit and talk to him about Omar. He’s been trying to tell himself that he’s not doing anything wrong even if he hasn’t told Luis about it. There’s really nothing to tell yet anyway and even he was not really sure of what he’s trying to accomplish in talking to Samuel and Rebeka about Omar. All he knew was that he had to know if Omar’s back and how he’s doing. That was all. He didn’t know what for just he had to know.

One thing he’s guaranteeing though is that whatever he found out about Omar would not change what he has with Luis and affect their relationship. He also promised himself that he would let Luis know everything and if and when he talked to Omar. But who was he kidding, he knew it’s not a matter of if he would talk to Omar but of when he would talk to him.

His phone chirped. It was Luis.

_“Hey babe! What’s up?_ _😊”_

_“Hey! Here at Samuel’s now to hang out. I’ll talk to you later when I get home, okay?”_

_“Sure. Say hi to Samu for me. Talk to you later babe.”_

Was it already lie _número dos_? Ander thought. He told himself technically he did not lie, right? He was really going to hang out with Samuel. Is omission of the fact why he’s hanging out with Samuel on that particular night can be considered lying? Ander sighed and shook his hands, trying to get that guilty feeling out of his system again.

Samuel opened the door when he knocked and was quite surprised to see him at his door. “Ander? Hey man, what’s up?”

“Hey man! Nothing much. Just thought of hanging out with you.” They exchanged manly hugs and Samu let him in his house. Ander handed Samu the 6-pack beer that he brought with him.

“Thanks man, I’ll put this in the fridge. You want a cold one?”

“Sure, thanks”

Samuel got them cold beer each and joined him on the couch. They tried to watch the game playing on the TV for a bit and talked about school and their final exams.

Then Ander asked Samuel “Hey Samu, the last time that we went out you asked me about Omar. What was that about?”

“Nothing man, I was just asking. Don’t worry about it.” Samuel said, trying to dismiss the conversation.

Ander took a swig of his beer. “Omar’s here in Spain, huh Samu?”

Samuel sighed. “You know”

“Well, not really. He called me the other night, or should I say early morning with a local number, so I figured he’s in Madrid.” Ander said.

“He called you?! Did you talk to him?” Samuel was surprised, probably not expecting Omar to talk to Ander.

“Not really, he hung up on me. I tried calling the number back, but he turned it off, I guess. So, he’s back, huh?” He tried to confirm.

Samuel nodded, “Yeah, he’s back.”

Ander tried to ignore the tiny flutter he felt from knowing for sure that Omar is back. “You guys already talked to each other? How long is he gonna be here?”

“He’s back for good, I think.” Samuel looked at him when he said that, trying to see Ander’s true feelings about the fact that Omar is back for good.

“Aah. How is he?” He tried hard to sound nonchalant.

“Honestly, I do not know. He did not tell anybody other than his parents that he was coming back. It was Nadia who called me and told me.”

Ander’s forehead furrowed at that. Nadia called and told Samuel but not him? But he quickly dismissed the thought from his head. Of course, Nadia knows that he and Omar had broken up and maybe thought that it’s not his business to know about Omar coming back home. Which was true, right? It’s none of his business.

Samu probably sensed his confusion and told him “Nadia asked me to talk to Omar. He’s…uhm…going through something, I think? And, he came back because they are all worried about their father’s health. He came home to help his parents with their store, help lighten his father’s workload.”

“I see. Well, ah…I hope he’s okay and his dad too.” That’s all Ander could think of saying. His brain still trying to process the information that Omar is back for good.

“Ander, I’m sorry if I did not tell you about it. I mean, I wanted to but I realized that Guzman was right. I…uh… I found out what Omar did to you and if the situation was reversed, I would not want you to be near Omar too. Oh, and please do not think that I’m taking sides or anything, I know what Omar did was wrong but Omar’s still my best friend and right now I think he really needs a friend and ---”

Ander cut him off. “Hey Samu, don’t worry about it, I understand. It’s not your responsibility to tell me that he’s back or what not and of course I do not think that you’re taking sides. There’s no side to take, in the first place. The reason why I did not tell you or our other friends about it because I do not want to put Omar in a bad light. I do not want you guys to think badly or look at him differently.”

“He cheated on you Ander and he left you at such a bad time. He’s my best friend but I know that what he did was wrong.” Samuel honestly said.

“He was put in a difficult situation. Seeing the person you’re with suffering and dying was too much to handle for many people. I just tell myself that he did what he needed to do to cope up with it and he did what he thought was the best for him and his future. I couldn’t take that against him if I really lov--, if I really care for him.” Ander explained

Samuel stared at Ander after his explanation and then shook his head “Again, Omar’s my best friend but I think you’re looking at him through rose-colored glasses Ander.”

Ander chuckled “Look at it this way Samu, you forgave and still loved Carla even after you have proven that she was kind of involved with what happened to Marina and even when she had to lie in court to acquit Polo because she was in a sticky situation. You still love her after all of that, right?”

“Hmmm…so, you still love Omar?” Samuel directly asked Ander.

“What? That’s not what I was saying… I mean ahh…just…whatever Samuel” Ander mumbled, throwing the throw pillow he was leaning on at Samu.

Samuel laughed “Ander, are you blushing?”

“Fuck off Samuel!” Ander flipped him off. They both laughed.

“Just be there for him, please Samu? He needs you. He needs his best friend.” He pleaded.

Samuel answered him a yes by clicking his bottle to his.

…..

The following morning Ander met Rebeka for brunch.

“Brunch? Seriously, Ander? You’re lucky you are very handsome, or I would knock you out for making me wake up this early on a Sunday morning.” Rebeka complained.

Ander laughed, greeting his friend with a kiss “ _Buenos días_ to you too Rebe. Stop complaining, you know you love me and it’s not early in the morning. It’s already 11 in the morning.”

Rebeka huffed and slumped on the chair in front of him. They ordered coffee and food. Ander let Rebe have her coffee first before opening up the topic of Omar.

After finishing her first cup of coffee and ordering her second cup, Rebeka seemed more awake and asked him “So, are you going to tell me now why we all of a sudden became like some middle-aged ladies who meet for brunch?”

Trust Rebe to make him laugh all the time, he chuckled. “Well, shouldn’t I be the one asking you? Is there something you’re not telling me, Rebe?”

She just looked at him, confused.

He cleared his throat “I heard someone’s back in town.”

“Oh. You heard about that, huh?” Recognition showing in Rebeka’s face.

“Well…?”

Rebeka took a deep breath “Look Ander, here’s the thing, I wanted to tell you at first but then I thought, really what’s good it gonna do you knowing that he’s back, right? And technically, I was not hiding it from you. I just let you find out about it by yourself and you did. How did you know, by the way?”

“He called me the other night ---”

“He called you? When was this? Was it last Friday night? Did you talk to him?” Rebeka asked him one after another.

“Yeah he called me last Friday night. Why?” Ander was puzzled with Rebe’s reaction.

“ _Joder!_ I knew I should have taken his phone with me that night.” She said, more to herself than to Ander.

“You were with him that night? He hung up on me before saying anything else. What’s going on Rebe? Is Omar, okay?” Her reactions are really confusing him.

Rebeka took another deep breath before speaking. “Ander, we just think that you getting involved with Omar again will just complicate things for you or just cause problems, maybe”

“We? Who’s we?” It was not making sense to Ander.

“Well, Guzman and I and maybe Samu too, I don’t know. Like what I said, we just think that getting involved with Omar again will just cause unnecessary problems for everybody, especially for you.” Rebe repeated herself.

“Who says anything about getting involved? At the very least, I just maybe want to talk to him a little, ask him how he’s doing and all. Like a friend.” He said, exasperated.

“Not a good idea either.” Rebeka muttered.

“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?” The conversation starting to frustrate him.

“Honestly? No. When it comes to Omar, you’re not always the best judge on what you need to do.” Ander was already frustrating her.

“I know you have a new-found respect for the guy, but seriously you’re starting to sound like Guzman it’s giving me goosebumps.” He said, rubbing his arms exaggeratedly.

Rebeka gave him the finger. “Unlike Guzman, I happen to care for you, Luis, and Omar. Guzman just cares for you. _Cari_ , what I’m trying to say is you know you are one of my best friends and I love you with all my heart, but Omar is my friend too and so do Luis. I am afraid that one of you, if not all of you, will get hurt at the end of the day. I am trying to prevent that from happening.”

Ander thought he understands Rebeka but at the same time he didn’t “Rebe, I am not going to cheat on Luis. Not with Omar, not with anybody.”

“I know you won’t cheat on Luis…intentionally. But…”

“But nothing, Rebe! I will not cheat on Luis period. I don’t think talking to Omar can already be considered as cheating” Ander cut her off and gave her a pointed look.

She sighed. “Fine, just promise me that you will not keep this from Luis. He knows about Omar, he knows who Omar was to you, so I think he has to know that he’s back especially if you’re planning on talking to Omar.”

“ _Claro_ , Rebe. I am already planning on telling him that Omar’s back anyway, I just wanted to confirm with you guys first. I will tell him, don’t worry.” Ander promised.

Rebeka was staring at him, looking like she’s contemplating something. “I told you a few weeks back that I will be having a party for my birthday, right? It’s already on Saturday next week, I asked Omar to come. He said he’s not sure if he could come but you know I don’t take no for an answer. So, I’m not saying anything but yeah maybe you could talk to him there.”

Saturday. 6 days from today. Ander is worried about telling Luis about Omar being back, he’s not sure how he would take it but at the same time, he couldn’t deny the nervous energy buzzing inside him at the thought of seeing, talking, and breathing the same air as Omar again.

He’s fucked. Totally fucked.


	7. Hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ander laid eyes on Omar again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Enjoy!

It had been a long week for Ander. After his brunch with Rebeka last weekend and discussing Omar being back and what it means to him, he tried hard to not think about Omar and the fact that there’s a big chance that he would see him again and talk to him at Rebe’s birthday party. It was not just because of the guilt but because he thought it’s not right for him to think about Omar that much when he’s already with somebody else. It’s wrong to do it to anybody and especially to someone like Luis, who has no mean bone in his body. Luis is perfect. He’s very handsome, has a good body, smart, funny, gentle, and kind. Ander thinks he’s so lucky that he has him as his second chance with love and he wouldn’t want to hurt him in any way. He did his best to ignore that voice in a tiny part of his brain saying, _“but he’s not Omar”_.

After indulging himself with thoughts of Omar the whole day after that meeting with Rebeka, Ander had promised himself that he would not think of Omar anymore. He had done it before so he believed that he could do it again. After he went to remission, he felt so blessed and grateful for his second life that he had decided that he would do everything to make himself feel better, physically and emotionally. He took care of himself. He ate better, stopped smoking, and only drank occasionally and just had a bottle or 2 of beer when he went out to drink. He also started being physically active again. He started playing tennis again, though just for fun and not really for competition. It was enough though to make his dad happy, he knew.

He also started hanging out with his parents and friends more. He played tennis with his dad and they would grab something to eat after and he would have movie nights with his mom after dinner. He went to the movies with Rebeka, went to the gym or swimming with Guzman and Samu. They still all hangout in bars or clubs during the week but he made sure that he would not drink a lot, just enough to give him a buzz when he did indulge himself but never to get drunk. He laughed more and just had a deeper love and appreciation for life. In the process, he had taught himself to not think of Omar anymore. He had learned to accept that Omar was gone and would never come back to him and yet he was still happy for him. He told himself that Omar would not leave him if he was still happy so him leaving, even if it was with another guy, means he would be happy elsewhere. Omar had done so much for him that he could not begrudge him for leaving him and being with another guy if that was what’s going to make him happy. Yes, it hurt him very badly, but he loved Omar so much and Ander believes that when you love someone, you have to set them free.

So, when the week started Ander busied himself from studying for his remaining exams for the week and spent as much time as he could with Luis. Monday night, he brought him dinner from his favorite place and then even brought him a small present which made Luis raise his brows at him in surprise and confusion, but it made him happy and he showed Ander how happy he made him by riding him hard in the bedroom that night.

Luis was great in bed and sex was always good between them. He’s a very generous lover and could pleasure Ander in many ways but he never once asked to top him, and he never offered either. Ander could not get to offer himself to Luis the same way that he did to Omar that night that he had stood up for him from his dad despite of Ander being ignorant and treating him like shit. It was one of the most memorable night in Ander’s life and he would never forget how wonderful and loved he felt that night. It was also that night that he felt how much he loved Omar and vowed to himself that he would love him as long as Omar would let him. It was a very meaningful night to him that Ander thought he would never be able to do it again with anybody else.

His heart broke and he hated himself for not being able to do it for Luis.

…..

Wednesday night, Ander invited Luis to sleepover at his house. They were sitting on the couch, studying for their exams when Ander had the courage to tell Luis about Omar being back. He was putting it off and he even wanted to put it off until the last minute, but he thought telling Luis that hours before Rebe’s party was not a good idea too.

Luis was reading his textbook, his pen tapping the book. Ander took a deep breath before he started speaking. “Hey babe, uhmmm…” He’s never fond of using pet names but he felt like he needed to use it that time to like to soften the blow, maybe?

“Hmmm?” Luis answered absent-mindedly, eyes still on his book.

Ander started rubbing Luis’ feet that’s on his lap, “Yeah, Rebe had mentioned to me that Omar was back in town. I thought I should tell you”

Luis looked up from his textbook “Omar? As in your ex----?

“Yeah, uhmm…he’s back.” He cut Luis off and hoped that his voice sounded as casual as he tried it to be.

“Wow. Are you okay?” Luis asked him, looking at him intently now.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” He rolled his eyes at Luis.

Luis was still looking at him and Ander felt like he was scrutinizing him and looking for signs that he’s greatly affected with the news. He did not know if he could still hold Luis’ gaze for long or even if it’s a good idea to do so. He wanted to avert his eyes so bad.

“Is he back for good or he’s just back for a visit…?” Luis asked.

“I don’t know. I did not ask.” Lie _numero tres_? Well technically he did not ask Rebeka. It was Samuel who he asked about it. But yeah, it was still a lie he knew.

“Are you gonna go see him? Talk to him?” Another question.

“I don’t know.” Lie _numero quatro._ He’s gonna start to lose count from the rate that he’s going, and he hated himself for it.

He looked at his book, he could no longer take the way Luis was looking at him and too afraid that he would find something in his eyes.

“Hey babe, you know it’s okay with me if you would want to see him and talk to him. I understand. I mean, I know you guys did not really have closure or something.” Luis sat up and slid closer to him, holding his chin to move his face towards him. “Besides, you’re gonna come back home to me anyway, right?”

Ander kissed Luis on the lips. He deepened the kiss, the way that he knew Luis loves. He did not stop until he heard Luis moan against his lips. He lifted Luis and sat him on his lap, his lips not leaving Luis’ lips and neck. He did not stop until it led to sex. He could not stop because he did not know what to say, what to tell Luis. Ander hoped it’s enough of an answer for Luis.

…..

They did not talk about Omar again after that. Friday came and though there were still students who were taking exams, there was already an excited energy in the air. Everyone couldn’t wait to finish the day and celebrate the start of summer break. Even he and Luis were excited, and they can’t wait to start the summer break partying to celebrate Rebeka’s birthday.

They were both going to Rebe’s party, but Luis had to leave a little bit early because he had an early flight to catch with his family the following morning for their family vacation. He told Ander that it’s okay for him to stay in the party and enjoy and he hated that he could not get himself to mention to Luis that there was a big chance that Omar would be at the party too.

On their way to Rebe’s house, Ander tried to calm himself. There was a nervous buzz inside him, and he knew it had nothing to do with his excitement over school finishing and vacation starting but everything to do with the chance of seeing Omar in the party for the first time again after their breakup. It was a good thing he was not driving because he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing or his hands from tapping his legs or the compartment that Luis even reached over and stopped him from moving too much on the passenger seat.

“Hey babe, are you, okay? _¿Qué pasa?_ ” Luis asked him.

“Huh, nothing babe. Just really wanted to drink and I’m excited for the summer, you know.” Was it lie number five, six, ten? He had lost count already and he felt like an asshole lying to Luis about Omar or because of Omar and doing something he promised himself he would not do.

Luis looked at him dubiously but said “Well yeah I know, I’m excited too. I wish you could already join us tomorrow but it’s okay you’ll either join us at a later date or we’ll have our own vacation. I can’t wait!” He kissed him on the lips.

He smiled at Luis nervously. He had forgotten all about their plans.

He’s a jackass. A real jackass.

…..

There were already a lot of people in Rebeka’s house when they got there. Ander’s not surprised since he knew Rebe’s friends with like everybody and she’s pretty popular in the university. Luis, being a friendly guy, as well knew a lot of people there while Ander knew most of the guests by association either with Luis or Rebe.

He tried not to think of Omar and just enjoyed hanging out and talking to their common friends. The music was loud, and the songs being played by the DJ were all good, hyping up the partiers. Yet, he knew or more like sensed, when Omar arrived. He came with Samuel and Ander watched them being welcomed by the birthday girl. Omar gave Rebeka a hug and whispered something to her ear, probably greeting her a happy birthday.

Ander couldn’t take his eyes off Omar. He’s still as attractive as the first time Ander first laid eyes on him several years ago. He felt hot all over, like a burning feeling. He felt like he couldn’t breathe yet he couldn’t take his eyes away from Omar. He could not believe he’s seeing him right that very moment. He wanted to reach out to him, touch him.

He was watching Omar’s every move that he did not feel Luis tapping him. He tapped him again, harder to get his attention.

He put his arm around his neck, pulling Ander close to him to talk to his ear. “Hey babe do you have my phone with you?”

Luis can be quite careless with his stuff and tend to leave his phone anywhere so it had been a habit to Ander to ask for Luis’ phone so he could keep it for him in his pocket. But because he was distracted earlier with his excitement to see Omar, he did not remember to ask for it from him.

He patted his jeans pockets to check if he has Luis’ phone with him. “I don’t have it with me. I forgot to get it from you earlier, sorry babe. Maybe you left it in the car?”

“It’s alright babe. I’ll just go and look for it in the car. I’ll be right back, okay?” Luis said, kissing him on the lips.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Ander offered.

“No, no, stay here. I have to call my mom first then I’ll be back.” Luis smiled at him before giving him another kiss on the lips then he turned around to walk out the door.

….

After Luis left, Ander’s eyes swept the room looking for Omar. He saw him out in the balcony, his back facing Ander. He’s talking to Samuel both has beer in their hands. Like it has a mind of its own, his feet started moving to where Omar and Samu was at.

Samuel saw him approach and they stared at each other first and, he seemed to have gotten the clue, he nodded at Ander. He heard him tell Omar that he’s gonna get them another beer. He walked past Ander and patted him on the shoulder. “Go talk to him”.

Ander stepped out of the balcony door and let out the breath that he had been holding in. He was standing close behind Omar, he felt like he could almost feel Omar’s body warmth.

“Hey!”

Ander saw Omar stiffened first before he turned around and face him.

“Ander…”

…..


	8. Someone You Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the title, I guess you could already tell what the song inspiration was for this chapter. Short story, the song "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi was one of the things that inspired me to write this fic. This song and the one beautiful Omander MV that I saw in You Tube (with the same song) was where the emotions of this story came from. That video edit always makes me cry. 
> 
> The quote at the end of the story, I saw it on IG as I was writing this chapter and thought it was so perfect for Omander in this fic. Ctto.
> 
> Here we go. Hope you all like it!

_Ander stepped out of the balcony door and let out the breath that he had been holding in. He was standing close behind Omar, he felt like he could almost feel Omar’s body warmth._

_“Hey!”_

_Ander saw Omar stiffened first before he turned around and face him._

_“Ander…”_

_….._

Omar’s heart was racing as soon as he heard Ander’s voice behind him. He felt frozen in place and he was not able to turn around to face Ander right away. He did not expect that Ander will approach and talk to him tonight and no matter how much he imagined it the whole week before Rebe’s birthday, he’s still not prepared for it to actually happen. He did not know what to say and he did not know how to face Ander.

Ander walked beside him and turned towards him. “You’re back.”

Omar faced Ander and he wanted to cry. Ander looks so much more handsome than ever up close. He looks so much healthier than the last time Omar saw him. His curls were back, his face got plumper, cheeks rosier and he’s smiling at him so charmingly and disarmingly, like he used to do. Ander had once again taken his breath away, just like the first time he saw him on that bridge a lifetime ago.

He couldn’t get himself to speak so he just nodded his head.

“How are you?” Ander asked him, still with his radiant smile on.

Omar was blinded by his smile and his beautiful eyes shining with so much warmth and sincerity. He wanted to cry because he knew he did not deserve such genuine warmth and politeness from Ander. He was tongue-tied but he knew he had to speak at some point. It’s taking all his strength to stop himself from reaching out to Ander and caress his face and run his hand through his curls again, just like he used to do.

He swallowed first before answering, “Uhhm…I’m fine. And you?”

“Oh, I’m fine too. Healthy as a horse.” Ander laughed, flexing his arms to show his strong muscles jokingly.

Omar could not believe he’s hearing Ander’s melodious laugh again, he wanted to record it so he could play it over and over again.

“How’s Nadia and your parents?” Ander continued.

“Nadia’s doing great. She’s at the top of her class, as expected. Baba… I mean, uhm…my father, he seems to be healthy right now, but my mother and I are still worried about him. I just hope that I’m able to at least help lighten his work load now that I’m back and working at the store.” He answered, Ander’s friendliness and genuine interest making him feel comfortable enough to share.

“I’m sure you are a big help to them Omar. You’re a good son.” Omar heard so much sincerity and gentleness in Ander’s voice that it seemed to be hypnotizing him. He wanted to lean over so badly and kiss him on the lips and taste and savor him once again.

“Ander, uhmmm…I-ahhh…I would like to say I’m sorry for everything that happened ----” Omar stopped speaking in mid-sentence when he felt Ander’s hand on top of his. He looked at Ander and back to their hands again.

“Hey Omar, stop. I know what you’re gonna say and I’m telling you it’s alright. I understand. There’s no need to apologize, okay?” Ander told him, hand still on top of his hand.

Omar wanted to protest, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven that easily, not with what he did. He wanted to tell Ander how sorry he was and how he’s regretting all that he did and wished he never did it especially leaving him. He would even explain to Ander why he did what he did if he would ask. There’s a lot of things he wanted to say but he couldn’t speak. Ander’s hand on his had caught him off guard.

Ander’s hand on top of his hand felt like fire yet he didn’t want to remove it. He would burn willingly just to keep Ander’s hand on his.

He still hasn’t said anything so maybe that was why Ander spoke again “But ahh, I’m hoping we can be friends? I mean we’re friends, right?”

Friends? Could Omar be just a friend to Ander? Could he be a person that Ander runs to for advice when he and his boyfriend were having problems? Could he listen to him talk about how inlove and happy they are?

Friends seemed to be a big word and there was a ring of finality to it that was breaking his heart. He wasn’t sure he could take being just Ander’s friend, but he still nodded his head yes because he knew he would take the pain, he could endure it if that’s the only way that he could have Ander in his life.

Omar felt the cold immediately when Ander removed his hand on top of his hand to take his phone out of his pocket. Ander’s phone was too bright that he could see it clearly from his side. It was clear enough for him to see that the wallpaper is not their picture anymore. Although it is to be expected he still felt a little pinch in his heart, but he just told himself that at least it was not replaced with a picture of Ander and his new boyfriend. His new wallpaper was just one of the default ones in his phone.

He was also able to read the text message. It was from Luis.

_“Babe, I’m back. Where are you?”_

Babe? Seriously? He watched Ander quickly replied.

_“Yeah, I see you. I’ll come to you babe.”_

Oh. His heart broke some more when he read the “babe” in Ander’s text. He didn’t use to like using pet names. He guessed only with him then.

Ander turned to him again “Uhm..,sorry but I got to go. But, let’s go out for a drink sometime, yeah? To catch up?” He flashed Omar again his radiant smile.

Omar was once again frozen in place with how beautiful Ander’s smile was. He could not do anything but nod his head and watch him walk away from him.

…..

Although it was killing him, Omar could not take his eyes off Ander. From the moment that he and Samuel got to Rebeka’s, he already saw him. He did his best not to catch his eyes as he greeted Rebe and she whispered “he’s here” to him. He watched him dote on Luis, talked, laughed, danced, and absent-mindedly touch his back, his arms, everywhere. Omar watched Luis do the same to Ander too and that’s when he had some epiphany of some sort why despite being back in his own country, in his own home, he felt like he’s not at home. Out of place. A stranger.

Not counting his two years in New York, Omar had lived in Spain almost his whole life. It’s what always would be familiar to him and what he would always call home yet, in that considerably short time that he was with Ander, it had all changed. His definition of home had changed, it had become Ander. Ander is his home and now that they no longer together he was lost. Everything that was familiar to him now felt new and different and he does not seem to know how to work his way around it. He does not know how to be here without being with Ander, like he does not know how to be in parties without being the one dancing with him, drinking with him. He doesn’t know how to be with their friends without being Omar and Ander. He doesn’t know how not to be the one kissing him and touching him. He simply doesn’t know how to be not somebody that Ander loves. Omar just doesn’t know how to be here and do it all when he had gotten used to be all that to Ander. Gotten used to being somebody who Ander loves.

He felt tears starting to fall from his eyes and his heart constricting, so he decided to step outside to get some air. He saw Rebeka dancing with her friends and Samuel was talking to Guzman, so he just walked out without telling them though he badly wanted to talk to someone.

There were a few people loitering outside, so he went and sat on the ground at the far end of the pool. He took his phone out and decided to give Lu a call. He hadn’t talked to her since he came back home anyway. Lu answered on the first ring.

“Hello darling!” Lu cheerfully greeted him.

“ _Hola mi reina_ ” He greeted back. He really misses Lu.

“How are you my dear?” She asked him. Omar could see her putting make up on. She probably has a date.

He sighed before answering “I’m okay, I guess? I’m here right now at Rebe’s birthday party”

“Oh right, it’s her birthday. Tell Narco Barbie, Latina Barbie said happy birthday, _porfa_.” Lu said making Omar smile.

“I’ll tell her. Oh Lu, I really, really missed you.” Omar told her, his voice starting to crack.

“Awww, I miss you so much too _cariño_. Hey, are you okay? Are you crying? What’s wrong? Oh, let me guess. Ander?” Omar hoped that Lu was just truly observant and that his sadness was not showing on his face.

“He’s here with his new boyfriend, Luis” He felt like a little child telling on the other kids to his mother.

“Oh Omar. Did guys at least talk?” Lu asked.

“Yeah, he approached me and talked to me for a bit. Oh, Lu he was still perfect. No, he was even better. He looks more handsome than he already was, healthier, happier. He looks happier now than he ever did with me.” His finally broke in tears.

“Hey Omar, _mírame_. You do not know that, okay? You don’t know if he really is happier with this new guy than with you. Don’t think like that, okay?” Lu said, trying to console him. “What did you say to him?” She continued.

“I didn’t really say much. I tried, I mean I started to apologize to him for everything that I’ve done wrong to him you know, but he cut me off. Said I don’t need to apologize, that he understands.” He told her.

“That’s good, right? I knew Ander was never mad at you. He loves you too much to ever be mad at you.” Lu confidently said.

Omar shook his head “Lu what I said earlier could hardly count as an apology, trust me. Especially with what I did to him. I do not deserve to be forgiven by him that easily or to even be understood by him. Besides, it’s **_loved_** not loves.” He sadly corrected her.

It was Lu’s turn to sigh. “Well, we don’t know that either. Anyway, what else did he say to you?”

“He wanted us to be friends.” He replied.

“Friends? What did you tell him?” Lu looked doubtful.

“I just agreed”

“You agreed to be “just” friends with Ander?! Are you sure you wanted that too? Could you handle being **_just_** his friend, though?” Lu asked.

Omar did not answer. He knew deep inside him that Lu’s doubts were his doubts too.

Lu continued. “Look, Guzman and I, we basically grew up together so before we dated, hooked up, and gotten into a relationship, we were friends first and foremost. Even our families were friends. So, when we broke up and he chose to be with your sister it was not really that hard for us to be just friends. I think that if all the fucked up things did not happen with Polo, maybe he and Carla would have remained friends even after they broke up too. Again, because they were friends first.”

He nodded at Lu, letting her know that he’s listening and making her continue what he’s saying.

“Now, you and Ander though were never friends. When you guys met you were already both insanely attracted to each other. You told me that yourself and I do not need Ander to tell me that too to know that he felt the same. I grew up with Ander and I have never seen him attracted to anybody until you came along. So, you guys met, hooked up, finally gotten into a relationship, and then bam! Before we all knew it, you guys were already living together like an old married couple. You kinda skipped the friendship part. That’s why I just wanted to make sure that you could handle it. I just don’t want you to get hurt even more.” Lu explained.

“I thought of that too Lu, but this is the only way that I can still have him in my life. I’ll take whatever I can get just so I can still be a part of his life.” He sounded desperate he knows, but he **_is_** desperate.

“Oh sweetie. I understand but be careful, okay? And also, don’t be too hard on yourself.” Lu said.

Omar heard a knock at Lu’s door.“Hey Lu, I guess your date’s there? Go get him. You look so beautiful, Lu. Enjoy your date, okay? Thanks for taking my call. I’ll call you again soon.” Omar smiled at Lu. He’s thankful that he found a true friend in Lu.

“Are you sure, _cari_? I can stay a bit more if you still need someone to talk to.” Lu offered.

“No, I’m okay now, Lu. Go and have some fun. I love you! Bye!”

“I love you too. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay? Bye!” She hung up.

Omar took a deep breath and just continued sitting on the ground, thinking of what Lu said. He was lost in his thoughts that he did not hear someone walked up and sat beside him.

“I see you were talking to my sister” Valerio said startling Omar.

“Valerio. Hey.” He greeted.

Valerio handed him a cup with some liquor in it. He smelled it first then took a sip after.

“So, how’s my darling sister?” Valerio asked him.

“She’s great. Living the best time of her life and passing every challenge with flying colors. You know your sister.” He answered.

“I’m sure she is. But you most certainly are not fine.” Valerio said, holding Omar’s chin and turning his face towards him.

Omar moved his face away and scoffed, “How did you know? You don’t know me! Maybe this is just my resting face.”

“True, I do not really know you but I’m quite an expert in reading people with unhappy, dead eyes. Most of them even come to me for solution, I may say. I know different ways of bringing life back to those dead eyes. C’mon, get up!” Valerio stood up and reached out for his hand.

Omar just looked at Valerio’s outreached hand.

Valerio snapped his fingers and reached for Omar’s hand again “ _¡Vamos!_ I guarantee you, you will forget whatever or **_whoever_** that’s on your mind right now and just have a great, fun night.”

Maybe he was also desperate to forget and feel something else other than hurt, sadness, and longing for Ander because that time, he did not hesitate to take Valerio’s hand and believed that he would be able to make him forget everything even for just a night.

…..

_(Ander)_

Luis had already left the party. Ander offered to leave with him again, but Luis just told him to stay and just enjoy the night. He did not tell Luis though that Omar was there at the party and that he talked to him and he wondered if Luis would still have let him stay if he knew.

He knew it’s wrong not to tell Luis about it, but he couldn’t help it. He was afraid that Luis would indeed ask him to leave with him. He wouldn’t be able to say no to him and there’s no reason for him to say no but he wanted to stay and talk to Omar some more. He was not lying technically, but he had already given up counting how many times he lied to Luis about Omar anyway. It was already getting too many to even count, much to his dismay and shame.

He walked Luis to his car and kissed him goodbye. When he came back inside the house, his eyes involuntarily looked for Omar right away. He did not see him, so he walked around trying to find Omar. He saw Samuel but he was talking to Guzman and Ander did not want to ask Samuel about Omar with Guzman around. He knew Guzman would not approve.

He saw Rebeka dancing with her other guests, so he walked up to her. He held her in her waists and turned her around.

“Ander, my gorgeous best friend! I’m so happy you’re still here! Let’s dance!” She exclaimed and wrapped her arms around Ander’s neck.

“You’re hammered!” Ander said, chuckling.

“It’s my birthday, I have every right to be hammered!” Rebeka said, poking Ander in the chest.

“Of course! But hey, have you seen Omar? Did he already leave?” He asked her.

“Omar? Uhmm, I don’t know. But no, Omar would not leave without saying goodbye first…oops! I guess he would, huh? _Lo siento, mi niño_.” Rebeka slurred.

Ander just laughed. He knew what a drunk Rebeka was like after all.

“But, maybe he’s just outside? Yes, yes you should look for him outside. Go get him Ander. I’ll just be here dancing, okay?” Rebe said, pushing him away.

He laughed again and ruffled Rebe’s hair. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and asked her friends she was dancing with to please look after her.

He walked towards the pool outside and that’s where he saw Omar sitting on the grass and on a video call with someone on his phone. He walked closer and stood there by a post, waiting for Omar to finish his call. Omar’s back was slightly turned on him and his voice was low, so he could not hear clearly what they’re talking about, but he heard Lu mentioned a few times so he’s guessing Omar’s talking to Lu.

The call ended and he was going to approach Omar, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Valerio sat beside Omar. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but Ander was not appreciating how close Valerio’s face was to Omar’s and it certainly worried him when Valerio stood up and reached out his hand to pull Omar up as well and walked back inside together.

Alarm bells started ringing in his head. He does not know if Valerio still deal drugs or if he still uses but he’d known Valerio long enough to know that both were still possibilities. When they were talking earlier, Ander was looking at Omar and though he still looked perfect to him, Ander could not help but notice how sad his eyes looked. Omar’s eyes were one of Ander’s favorite features of him. It was always full of life. It used to look so alive and full of mirth, but that’s not what he saw earlier. He could still tell what Omar was feeling just by looking at his eyes. That was why he asked Omar if they could be friends, he wanted Omar to feel that he could still talk to him and ask for his help if he needed it.

Those sad eyes were what was worrying him now. He’s worried that with whatever Omar was currently going through, Valerio might influence him to do drugs again. Ander never really saw Omar took something stronger than weed before and as far as he knows he had already stopped smoking even that a long time ago. So, he’s worried that Valerio might make Omar start again.

He followed them inside. He watched the two for a while and he did not see them get to a room or away from the dance floor. They were in the dance floor dancing, drinking, and just laughing and simply having fun. He felt a little relieved, but he wasn’t born yesterday, he knew that it could appear like they were just dancing and having great fun, but a lot of things could happen in the dance floor without anyone seeing it. It could happen in every whisper, every move of a hand or foot.

He watched Valerio whispered something to Omar’s ear and then walked away. Ander followed him. Valerio went inside a room and Ander waited outside the door for him. When Valerio stepped out the room, Ander charged at him. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him to the wall.

“Whatever it is that you think you’re playing at with Omar, you better stop it now!” He said, face all up on Valerio.

Valerio laughed “Oooh…as far as I can remember you are no longer his boyfriend and didn’t you already have a new boyfriend, too? Don’t you think you’re not in the position to be asking me that.” 

Ander pushed him back to the wall again “Haven’t you learned your lesson with what happened to Carla before, huh?”

“Why do you think I’m helping Omar out? I saw in Omar’s eyes the same lifeless look I saw in Carla before! But don’t worry, drugs are not the only way I know how to bring life back to Omar. I know a hundred ways to make him feel alive again, don’t you worry.” Valerio said with a malicious smile on his lips.

That pushed Ander to lose his patience. He was going to punch the living daylights out of him when he felt someone pulling him away from Valerio.

“What the fuck is going on here?!” He heard Guzman say.

“Why don’t you ask your best friend Guzman. I was just out there dancing and having fun, celebrating Rebe’s birthday when Ander attacked me. I did not know that it was such a crime to have fun with Omar.” Valerio mockingly said.

“Ander…?” Guzman turned to him.

“He was doing to Omar what he did to Carla before, Guzman!” Ander shouted.

“You do not have proof I’m doing that Ander and I told you, I know a lot of ways to make Omar feel happy other than taking drugs.” Valerio said with a wink, riling him up even more.

He went charging at Valerio again, but Guzman intercepted him, pushing him back.

“This is why I do not want you to know that Omar is back Ander. Look at you, five minutes of you knowing and already you’re a mess. He was already fucking things up for you.” Guzman said.

He gave Guzman a pointed look. “Don’t even go there Guzman! Have you all forgotten how Carla almost died because of drugs?!”

And then he turned to Valerio and pointed his finger at him. “Stay away from Omar or I will tell Carla that you’re back on dealing drugs again. Isn’t that part of your deal when she trusted you with her business? Let’s see how she would react especially if she found out that you’re pushing it to one of us again.”

Valerio scoffed. “Then I guess we would see too what your loving boyfriend would say and do if he knew how rabid you became all of a sudden when you saw your ex-boyfriend dancing with an old friend.”

“Fuck you!” Ander answered and turned around to leave.

“Ander…..” Guzman called to him.

He turned back around and looked at Guzman, “Fuck you too Guzman and your opinions and what you think was right or wrong for me. Fuck all of you!”

Ander walked out. He was going to leave when he saw Omar on the dance floor, dancing by himself and he could tell he’s already drunk. He did not know how Omar would go home but he could not leave him there inebriated.

He made up his mind and started walking towards Omar.

…..

_“Maybe we just found forever at the wrong time, and someday, time will pull us back together again.”_


	9. When the Party's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some vacation, maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Here's another chapter and I hope you would all like it!
> 
> Song inspiration for this chapter and the title is obviously "When the Party's Over" by Billie Eilish. Great song!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

_Ander walked out. He was going to leave when he saw Omar on the dance floor, dancing by himself and he could tell he’s already drunk. He did not know how Omar would go home but he could not leave him there inebriated._

_He made up his mind and started walking towards Omar._

…..

_(Ander)_   
  


Ander walked towards Omar. He’s not sure what he’s going to say to him, but he seemed to be too drunk to be left alone. He could not find Samuel and Rebe was also drunk herself to make sure that Omar will safely leave the party and go home. He will be honest to himself and say that he also didn’t trust leaving Omar drunk with Valerio around.

He did not also know what he would do once Omar agreed to leave the party with him. He didn’t think it’s a good idea to bring Omar home to his parents’ house in that state of drunkenness. He’s sure they would not appreciate that, especially his father. So, he supposed he could take the chance and bring Omar to Samu’s place or find a room for Omar here at Rebe’s to sleep the night away, he’s positive Rebe would not mind.

But, if he would really, truly be honest with himself, he would admit that what he wanted to do was to take Omar home. With him, to his house. Somehow, he also knew deep inside him he already made up his mind that that was what he would do. His brain was telling him it’s not right and fair to Luis if he did that but there’s a tiny part of his brain saying that he would just be helping out a friend and nothing else.

He was almost near to where Omar’s at when Samuel intercepted him.

“Ander don’t” Samuel told him, blocking his way to Omar.

“ _Que_?” Ander asked Samuel, pretending to not have any idea on what Samuel was talking about.

“I know you’re planning on taking Omar home. I’m just saying you don’t have to. I’ll take care of him” Samuel was still blocking his way.

“I’m just worried about him, Samu. He’s already drunk and I’m not sure how he got here and how he’s gonna go home. “He explained.

“I know and I’m telling you that you don’t need to worry about it. I will make sure he’d get home safe. I will probably just bring him home with me because he can’t go home that drunk. His parents would surely worry about him.”

“But ---”

“Ander just don’t. Don’t do this. If you do this, you’re gonna hurt Luis either way. Whether you tell him or not about it, I’m sure it would hurt his feelings knowing that you brought your ex-boyfriend home with you. You wouldn’t want to hurt Luis, right? Don’t do something you will regret later Ander.” Samuel said.

Samuel was right, Ander knew that. He nodded his head, agreeing to Samuel.

“And, don’t worry about Valerio okay? I will make sure he won’t be alone with Omar at any point. Just go home Ander. Get some rest, buddy.” Samuel assured him, patting him on his shoulder.

“ _Bien. Gracias_ , Samu. Just take care of him, okay?” He told Samuel and bade him goodbye.

He left Rebeka’s house and headed home.

….

He was not able to fall asleep right away that night. He’s lying on his bed, replaying all the events of the night. He had long given up at the chance of getting any sleep and of stopping himself from thinking about Omar.

Guzman, Rebe, all of them, they were right. Just knowing that Omar was back had already shook his world and seeing him earlier and talking to him had brought out feelings he had long buried and hidden. Feelings that he thought were no longer there, or at least had mellowed down.

Omar was still beautiful to Ander as he first saw him ages ago. His bushy eyebrows, deep eyes, straight and delicate nose, and lips that he could kiss for days and days. He was clean-shaven now making him look younger than his age. Omar looked just like the last time Ander saw him and he made him feel the same way he felt before too.

He was still perfect although he seemed to have lost a lot of weight, Ander noticed. He looked so frail and fragile. Ander was missing his smile too, the smile that reached his eyes and light up his whole face. He did not see that and the sparkle that used to make up his eyes were gone. It seemed dull and dead and it took a lot of his strength not to reach out and gather Omar in his arms and vow to bring the life back to his eyes again.

But he couldn’t and he shouldn’t. Omar was not his anymore and he’s not Omar’s either. He’s with someone else now and what he’s been feeling is not right. He loves Luis, he would not be with him if he didn’t. Luis had helped him a lot and he makes him happy. He is lucky to have Luis in his life, he knows that, and Luis does not deserve any of this.

Maybe he just needs to step back a little and regroup. He has been indulging himself with thoughts of Omar and he should just stop. He had done it before so he could do it again, right? He will busy himself and surround himself with his family and friends. He’d be able to shake Omar out of his system again. He needs to do it for Luis and for himself.

…..

“Hey” Ander greeted Guzman.

Guzman who was cleaning his car, turned around when he heard Ander greeted him. He nodded his head in greeting “I thought you’re no longer gonna come with us.”

It had become a tradition every summer that Ander goes with Guzman and his family for a week of vacation at his grandparents’ in Asturias. Since they have sort of an altercation last night, Guzman probably thought that Ander would no longer be coming.

“We do this every summer Guzman, of course I’m gonna go.” He said.

“Well, could have fooled me with how mad you were at me last night.” Guzman said while still cleaning his car.

Ander rolled his eyes. “I was not mad at you. I was pissed at Valerio.”

Guzman raised his eyebrows at him on that.

“Fine I was pissed at you too and I’m sorry if I cussed at you or something, but it really was Valerio who I was mad at.” He apologized.

“What happened there? Don’t you think you overreacted a little?” Guzman asked.

“Valerio was pulling the same shit he did before with Carla. I would not let that slide.” Ander explained.

“Uh huh, so it had nothing to do with the fact that he was supposedly doing it to Omar?” Guzman was skeptical.

“Whatever, man. I’m just concerned with Omar. Fine, I will admit that we may have broken up, but I still care for him. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him and stuff.” That is the truth. He still cares for Omar. It’s not just gonna go away, he thought.

“You still care for him alright, a little too much if you would ask me. You were ready to beat the crap out of Valerio. That’s why I said, Omar hasn’t been back 5 minutes and yet he’s already shaking you up. Ander, please don’t let Omar mess with your head and your life again.” Guzman warned him.

“I’m not letting him anything Guzman. It’s different now. I have a boyfriend and I just wanted us to be friends. He looked like he needed a friend.” He said, defending himself.

Guzman laughed. “You and Omar as friends? Now? Yeah, let me know how that one would go.”

Ander rolled his eyes at Guzman, “Whatever. Can we just stop talking about this now? You want me to not get involved with Omar and stuff, right? So, let’s stop talking about him and get on with our plans for our vacation.”

“And when we come back from Asturias? What are you gonna do then with all the free time in your hands?” Guzman asked him. He knew what exactly Guzman was asking him. Guzman wanted to know what will keep him busy enough to be sure that he will not be talking or hanging out with Omar.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll go with my mom to my grandparents too until Luis comes back from their vacation. Then, I might go with him to his hometown too, I don’t know. I think that would pretty much cover my summer, yeah? But you know what, right now I’m very thirsty so can we have beer right now?” He asked Guzman, eager to change the topic.

That should be enough explanation, Ander thought although he really didn’t need to explain himself to Guzman. But he had to say something before Guzman start off lecturing him again about getting involved with Omar again or something.

For now, that’s his plan and he just hope it will be enough to purge Omar out of his mind and heart.

…..

_(Omar)_

Omar heard his phone beep, but he did not get up to go look at it. Even though he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t lie to himself that after Ander told him that he wanted them to be friends and that they should go out sometime for a drink to catch up, he was kind of waiting for him to call or send him a message or something. Every time his phone rings or beeps, which was not that often, his heart breaks a little in disappointment because it was not Ander.

It had been two weeks after Rebe’s birthday party, he knew he should already stop waiting or expecting Ander to call or send him a message. He shouldn’t have expected it right from the start anyway. Ander probably just said that casually and did not really mean it. People always say that all the time and not really mean it so it may be the same case with Ander that night. Why would Ander want to be friends with him anyway?

Texting or calling him was out of the question. He couldn’t do it. Ander has a boyfriend and he’s worried that he would call or text Ander at a bad time, he didn’t want to cause any conflicts between Ander and his boyfriend. He doesn’t even know if Ander’s boyfriend knows who he is or if the boyfriend is the jealous type or not. Besides, he also wanted it to be at Ander’s pace. He wanted Ander to be the one to decide if and when he’s gonna see and talk to him again. The last thing he wanted was to pressure Ander to be friends with him.

Knowing all that, he still couldn’t help but hope and wait for Ander to call him and ask him out for a beer or two, even if it’s just as friends. He craves for Ander’s presence, to be just around him, see him, and hear his voice. So, even if it hurts him to be just his friend, he would take whatever he could get.

…..

“Did you hit your head and you forgot how to answer calls and messages now?” Rebeka asked in a loud voice after barging in their store one afternoon.

Omar looked up from what he’s reading, surprised. “What? And hello to you too, Rebe!”

“ _Hola_ yada, yada, whatever! I’ve been calling and texting you since last week. Why haven’t you been answering?! Are you ghosting us again?!” Rebeka slammed her hands on the counter for emphasis.

“Oh, sorry Rebe. No, I’m not ghosting you, but I kept my phone in the drawer and you know no one really calls or texts me so I forgot that I put it there or to even check it. Also, it was probably on silent, so I did not hear it. _Perdoname_?” He explained. He was not lying. Since no matter how much he told himself not to expect anymore that Ander will contact him, he put it on silent, hide and lock it in his drawer like a fool. He was still fully aware it’s there but at least it wasn’t on his view and he won’t be tempted to check it every damn five minutes.

“You put your phone away?! What, so you just use your laptop to check your social media accounts or even the news?” Rebeka asked him, astounded with the fact that he could actually live without a phone.

“Rebe I don’t have any social media account. I deactivated them all. As for the news, if there is something important or relevant that I need to know, I’m sure my parents would tell me.” He told Rebe.

“Goodness gracious, I swear you have turned into a hermit! Anyway, I was calling and texting you because I want to take you out of your hermit life for a bit. I know you don’t know but Carla came back home for a vacation and she invited us to go on a vacation with them to the beach for a few days ---”

“Us? Really? Funny, I don’t remember her inviting me.” He cut off Rebeka coz he didn’t believe Carla invited him particularly. Not that he minded, he and Carla was never really close even when she and Samu had started their thing.

“Fine, she didn’t specifically mention your name but either way please go with me, Omar. Please.” Rebeka pleaded.

“What? Why? Sorry Rebe. Thank you for the invite but I think I’m gonna pass” He refused. He didn’t really want to go.

“Omar, por favor. Don’t let me go by myself and be like a third wheel to Carla and Samu ---”

“Aha! So it’s about Carla and Samuel. I knew it! But I thought you’re over Samu?” He asked her, smirking.

Rebe rolled her eyes, “Yes, I’m over Samuel. Please! But that doesn’t mean I would like to spend my vacation watching them canoodling in front of me. Heck, I wouldn’t like it with any couple. Guzman already left to visit your sister. Ander is with his mother at his grandparents’ place, **_if_** that’s what you’re worried about. Valerio would be there but c’mon you know that guy. He would probably be spending his vacation with his nose buried in whatever he’s snorting now or busy getting in the pants of any girl or guy there. Please, please, please Omar come with me. Plus, it’s Ibiza baby! You don’t turn that down.”

He’s not gonna lie, but he kinda want to go. He hasn’t been on the beach for a long time and a vacation would be nice. He’s sure his parents would be okay for him leaving for a few days.

“Remember, you still owe me from ghosting me all those years!” Rebeka reminded him.

Omar scoffed, “Fine, I’ll go but we’re even now okay? You cannot use that ghosting card on me anymore and if you hook up with someone and leave me the entire time we’re there, I will chop your hair off, deal?”

Rebeka ran toward him, shrieking and surprising him with how it’s so unlike her. “Yay!!! Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun!”

Omar hoped so, he badly needed that vacation.

….

Rebeka was pretty excited for their trip and her excitement was rubbing off on Omar. They will be flying to Ibiza and the airport was buzzing with a lot of people. Seemed like everybody in Madrid decided to go on a vacation the same day as they did.

There’s a long line at check-in and they have been in line for 15 minutes or longer even, maybe. Carla and Samu didn’t seem to mind the wait as they were in their own world with their lips glued to each other. Valerio was late as usual and nowhere in sight yet. Rebe was sitting on her suitcase, chewing her gum and just eager to start their vacation. Same with him, he just wants to get on the plane and get to the beach asap.

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late.”

Omar turned his head to Rebeka too fast when he heard his voice, he gave himself a whiplash.

“Ander?!” Rebeka exclaimed.

Omar froze, he couldn’t turn around. Wait, Ander said “we”, he thought. So, that means…

“Luis!” He heard Rebe said.

He slowly turned around. He had to or he would seem impolite. He didn’t want to, though.

He saw the surprise on Ander’s face when he turned around while Luis was smiling while looking at him and then back to Ander.

“Hello my friends! Are you all excited to start this vacation? Wooh, this would be fun!” Valerio yelled as he walked towards them with a big grin on his face.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me…” Ander muttered.

…..


	10. Dancing With a Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't wanna be alone tonight (alone tonight)  
> It's pretty clear that I'm not over you (over you, over you)  
> I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do (things you do)  
> So I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight  
> Can you light the fire? (light the fire, light the fire)  
> I need somebody who can take control (take control)  
> I know exactly what I need to do  
> 'Cause I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! If there's someone who waited for this chapter last week, I'm sorry if I was not able to post. I was a little heartbroken so was a little uninspired too. But, show must go on so this story is back with a vengeance! :-)
> 
> Title is inspired by the song of the same title by Sam Smith. It just fits this chapter so perfectly. Listen to the song for more feels.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

_“Ander?!” Rebeka exclaimed._

_Omar froze, he couldn’t turn around. Wait, Ander said “we”, he thought. So, that means…_

_“Luis!” He heard Rebe said._

_He slowly turned around. He had to or he would seem impolite. He didn’t want to, though._

_He saw the surprise on Ander’s face when he turned around while Luis was smiling while looking at him and then back to Ander._

_“Hello my friends! Are you all excited to start this vacation? Wooh, this would be fun!” Valerio yelled as he walked towards them with a big grin on his face._

_“You gotta be fucking kidding me…” Ander muttered._

…..

Valerio started going around and greeting each one of them. He first called the attention of Samu and Carla who had finally unglued their lips from each other, even for a few minutes.

“Samu hey, man! Carla, my boss!” He gave Samu and Carla a salute.

Then he got in between Omar and Rebe and put his arms around their shoulders. He gave Rebe a kiss on the cheek and said hello and then turned to Omar.

He held Omar’s face and kissed him on both cheeks “Omar, my boy! I’m so glad you came. I promise you, you will have a great time”

Ander cleared his throat and glared at Valerio. Valerio laughed, he let go of Omar’s face and turned to Ander.

“Ander! Man, how’s it going?!” He greeted Ander with a smirk. He then looked at Luis who was standing closely beside Ander.

“Oh sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Valerio and you are?”

“Luis” Luis said, extending his hand to Valerio for a handshake.

Valerio shook Luis’ hand, “Luis? Oh, so you must be Ander’s new boyfriend! By the way, have you met Omar?”

Luis shook his head with an awkward smile on his face.

Valerio tapped Omar on his shoulder, “Omar meet Luis. Luis this is Omar, Ander’s e----”

“Uhmm hi Luis. Nice to meet you.” Omar cutoff Valerio before he said anything inappropriate or just plain awkward. He shook Luis hand.

“Hey! It’s nice to finally meet you. They have told me a lot about you” Luis politely said.

“Oh uhm, all good I hope.” Omar answered.

It would have been funny if it wasn’t so awkward. Both Luis and Omar are smiling awkwardly. Ander couldn’t look at both of them and was looking at his feet like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Rebeka has a deer caught in the headlights look on her face while Valerio was smirking and looking so amused with the situation

“Hey guys it’s our turn. Get your passports ready.” Samuel told them.

Saved by the bell. The same thought running in their minds.

…..

While walking to the gate to board the plane, Omar grabbed Rebe and slowed down his steps so they will be walking behind the others.

“Rebe, what the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me that Ander and Luis will be in this trip too? I wouldn’t have come if I knew.” He loudly whispered to Rebeka.

“I’m sorry Omar but believe me I did not know that they would come. Carla and Samu did not tell me that and I didn’t think to ask ‘coz as far as I knew Ander was still with his mom at his grandparents’ place and Luis was still on his vacation with his family.” Rebeka explained.

“Shit Rebe this is so awkward! What am I supposed to do? I just want to turn around and go home. I can’t do this!” Omar whined.

“Look Omar it’s gonna be okay. So what if Ander and Luis is here? It shouldn’t matter, right?” Rebe tried to placate him.

“It shouldn’t matter?! Ander, my ex-boyfriend who I still love is here in this trip with his new boyfriend so tell me how it wouldn’t matter to me? I swear if I saw them make-out in front of me, I am getting my ass on the first plane back home.”

Rebe rolled her eyes, “Now you’re just being melodramatic Omar”

“Oh I’m being melodramatic? Didn’t you have the same reason why you wanted me to go with you in this trip, huh? Wasn’t it because you don’t want to see Carla and Samu “canoodling”?

“Okay, okay, fine. Don’t worry okay, just like me asking you to come with me then I will be here for you too. We’re gonna have a great and relaxing time, promise.” Rebeka told Omar.

Omar sighed, “I really hope so.”

….

Fate must really be playing with him today, Omar thought. Out of all the maybe more or less 300 seats on this plane, Edward and Luis were seated right behind him, Rebe, and Valerio. It’s like he couldn’t catch a break here.

Rebeka sat right away, choosing the window seat of course. He remained standing and ready to put his bag in the overhead cabin quickly so that Ander and Luis don’t have to pass by him with him still standing.

He already saw Ander and Luis heading his way, so he quickly shut down the overhead cabin door and was ready to sit down when Rebeka asked him.

“Omar _mi amor_ , can you put my bag up too while you’re still there, _por favor_?”

Of course, he couldn’t say no to that simple request, and he was raised as a gentleman so he took Rebe’s bag to put it away.

“Hey, uh excuse me” Ander said, trying to walk past him to his seat.

“Uh yeah, sure. Sorry” Omar moved forward. His body was already touching the aisle seat in front of him, but he could still feel the heat from Ander’s body as he walked by him.

“Hey babe, here hand me your bag I’ll put it up for you” Omar heard Ander tell Luis.

He, on the other hand, was trying to fit in the big-ass bag of Rebeka. He didn’t even know why the airline allowed it as her hand carry baggage. He was having a hard time shutting the overhead cabin door when he heard Ander speak beside him.

“Here, let me help you.”

Ander was looking at him directly and they were standing too close to each other, their shoulders were touching and he could smell his cologne. He smelled like his favorite cologne for him. He smelled heavenly that Omar couldn’t help but close his eyes to savor Ander’s scent like some creep. He could just stand there forever.

He heard the cabin door slam shut, startling him and making him open his eyes.

“There you go” Ander said.

“Uhm, thank you Ander.” He shyly said.

“You’re welcome, Omar.” Ander told him, smiling.

He quickly sat down before his knees buckled and he fell on the floor. Ander’s smile was making his knees weak and melting him inside.

Rebeka looked at him, smirking. She saw the whole interaction and was going to say something, but Omar shook his head and mouthed “No. Don’t.”

Rebe just shrugged her shouders then and put her headphones back on, chuckling. She knew how much affected Omar was with his interaction with Ander and though she feels bad for him with his current predicament, she found it cute and it’s kind of amusing her watching them.

Omar slouched down on his seat and sighed.

…..

“Are you okay, babe?”

“Yes, babe. Thank you for letting me take the window seat. You’re so sweet.”

Omar did not only hear them talking, but he could also hear them kissing. Well, hearing the kiss may be just in his mind but he knew very well that Luis and Ander kissed after that.

He didn’t know how much more he could take of that and the plane hasn’t even taken off. He really should just put his headphones on and put it on maximum volume so he wouldn’t hear Ander and Luis’ conversation anymore.

He was about to do it when Valerio plopped on the seat beside him. He forgot that Valerio was sitting beside them. The plane was now taxiing so he didn’t know where Valerio went, and he was just now taking his seat.

“Hello gorgeous! Are you excited?” He asked him while putting his seatbelt on.

Omar didn’t answer and just leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Hey, why the sad look on your face? C’mon cheer up! This is a vacation. Time to relax and par-tayyyy!!!” Valerio exclaimed.

“Yeah, okay whatever.” Omar deadpanned.

“You know, I realized we haven’t really partied together. I mean you and I, together. This will be fun because you don’t really know what a party is until you partied with me. I promise, I’ll give you the best night of your life in the party tonight. Or… we don’t even have to leave your bedroom if that’s what you prefer” Valerio tried to entice him with a sultry voice.

He was going to answer but Valerio turned around to Ander and Luis’ seats.

“Hey Ander. Are you okay, man? I felt you kicked the back of my seat. Are you not comfortable with your seat? We can switch places if you’d like so then I can also get to know Luis more. Isn’t that right, Luis?”

“Fuck off Valerio!” Ander answered, giving Valerio the finger.

“Okay that’s fine with me. I have Omar beside me anyway. I’ll get to know his sexy ass instead. Might want to keep him for myself too.” Valerio winked at Ander.

Omar pulled Valerio down to make him sit properly.

“Valerio what the hell? Will you please stop?” He scolded Valerio.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

He gave Valerio a dirty look. “Just shut up, okay? Please.”

Valerio laughed. “Fine, fine. Chill. I’ll stop. Anything for you _bon bon_.”

Omar rubbed his temples. He’s having a headache. It’s a less than a 2-hour flight but it’s starting to seem like it’s the longest flight he’d ever taken.

…..  
  


“Omar! Omar! Get up! Get up!”

“Huh? What?” Omar mumbled sleepily. He opened his eyes and wiped his eyes and saw Rebeka standing over him.

“What, Rebe?”

“Get up, take a shower, and get dressed. We’re going to the club.” Rebeka instructed, pulling him up.

“But I’m still sleepy. I’m so tired.” He grunted. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Tough. I didn’t drag your pretty ass all the way to Ibiza just so you can sleep.” She pulled on him again, trying to make him get off the bed.

“Okay, okay! Stop pulling me, you’re hurting my arm, jeez!” Instead of standing up, he just sat up. Truth be told, he really didn’t feel like going to the club and see Ander gyrating with Luis on the dancefloor. Ander’s a good dancer, very good as a matter of fact, and he looks so hot doing it. Omar would even pay to watch him dance but not with Luis. Nope, not his idea of a good time.

Valerio came in the room, “What’s going on here? Oh, the sleeping beauty’s awake now.”

‘Yeah thankfully and Sleeping Beauty will now get up and take a shower. Right, Omar?” Rebe added.

Omar groaned, “Do I really need to go? Can I just stay here, please?”

“No! You’re going. I already took the liberty of choosing your outfit for the night so all you need to do is just get yourself clean and look hot. We are going hunting tonight, baby. Tonight, we are on the prowl for hot, gorgeous partying men to fuck our brains out. So get up, get up!” Rebe tossed him the clothes that she picked for him from his bag.

He groaned again.

“Hey, if that’s what you’re looking for you don’t have to look too far. I’m right here. If you don’t want to go Omar you don’t have to go, I can join you in bed instead.” Valerio said winking at him.

“No, thank you. Fine, I’ll go but for the record I am not going to hunt men with you Rebe, okay? I am not on a prowl for anything, please.” Omar shuddered.

“Why? Seriously Omar, when was the last time you got laid, hmm?” Rebe asked, eyebrows raised.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t feel like it. It doesn’t feel right to me.” He answered.

“Oh my god! Really, Omar? Really?” Rebe exclaimed. She already has an idea why Omar is opposed to look for a hookup tonight.

“What?” Valerio asked, confused.

Rebeka pointed outside and Valerio got right away that Rebe was referring to Ander. “Aahh!”

Valerio laughed and Omar scowled at him.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you. Look, you’re not in a relationship right now, right? No boyfriend? Single?” Omar nodded his head to all of them.

“Then there is nothing wrong if you put yourself out there tonight, right? I mean you’re not gonna be cheating on anyone or something.” Valerio continued. Omar grimaced at the mention of cheating on anyone.

“If you don’t really want to get on the “Valerio train”, look I have friends who will be in the club later. I am even friends with the DJ playing later and he swings your way so you know, I can hook you up.” He offered.

Omar just shook his head no.

“Omar honey, you got to wake up and smell the coffee. You and Ander are no longer together. You had broken up and Ander’s with Luis now, whether you like it or not. So, it’s just fair if you will turn your back on what seem like a crazy vow of celibacy you have going on. It’s time to move on Omar or you’ll just continue hurting yourself.” Rebe was always the one for tough love.

Once again Omar shook his head no. They don’t understand. He knew what Rebeka and Valerio was saying but it really just didn’t feel right to him. Being with another guy, especially here in Spain and with Ander around, feels like cheating to him. He knew they are no longer together, but he still considers it as cheating and cheating is something that he swore he would never do again. Ever. He hadn’t even apologized to Ander and asked for his forgiveness for what he did. He just couldn’t be with another guy. Not yet and not ever, that’s what it felt like to him. So, move on? No, he can’t. He won’t. He doesn’t want to. Yes, he knew Luis is in the scene and he won’t get in the way of their or of Ander’s happiness rather but that didn’t mean he would stop loving him. Even from afar. Even if it hurts him. He deserves it anyway.

Rebeka sighed. “Fine, you don’t have to hook up with anyone or even look for one for that matter but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in the club tonight. We can still drink, party, and dance till our feet give up. You can be my wingman and I can be your beard to ward off drunk girls with zero gay radar.”

Omar started to think it would be fun. Rebe’s always a good company everywhere especially to clubs and parties. He missed the club scene a little and it’s fun to dress up and just let loose.

“Great so that’s a plan and I will still introduce you guys to my hot friends. I promised you a great time after all Omar.”

Then they heard a loud door slam shut, startling them.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know but it sounded like someone has a beef with the door. Anyway, go Omar get ready and let’s get this night started.”

…..

Ander couldn’t keep his eyes off Omar the whole night. His boyfriend looked just as sexy and handsome, if not more, yet his eyes kept straying back to Omar the whole time and he hated himself for it. It would be a boldfaced lie if he said that he’s no longer attracted to Omar because he is. He was still attracted to him just as much as the first time he saw him on that memorable bridge eons ago. The attraction, among other things he wouldn’t dare think of, was still very much present much to his chagrin for Luis’ sake.

Omar’s had been dancing with Rebe, Valerio, and Valerio’s friends. He had overheard Valerio earlier back in the villa that he would introduce Omar to his friends and that just didn’t sit well with him and plus Valerio was still blatantly flirting with Omar. He was not liking it at all, so much so that he slammed their bedroom door a little too strongly it shook and almost got off its hinges. It’s also the reason why he has been keeping his eyes on Omar, not that he thought he could have stopped nor should stop him if he did want to hook up with anyone in this club. 

Luis saw some friends of his who were also on vacation in Ibiza and had been dancing with them. He had joined them for a bit, but he couldn’t keep up with their enthusiasm, so he excused himself and just stood in some corner watching people, or rather Omar which he seemed to have already lost.

He looked around but he couldn’t find him. He saw Rebeka dancing with some group of people and he even spotted Valerio, but no Omar. His heart was feeling constricted at the thought of Omar hooking up with someone, somewhere. It shouldn’t be that way, he knew, but he couldn’t help it.

His head started to hurt, and he just wanted to go back to the villa and sleep, but he couldn’t leave Luis though. Luis is his boyfriend and they came together and would leave together. But Luis had already had a lot to drink and was already starting to get drunk so he thought it wouldn’t be that suspicious if he asked him to leave now. That’s what he’d do.

…..

He couldn’t sleep. After a little bit of persuasion and some more dancing, he was able to persuade Luis’ to leave the club and go back to the villa. Just as he thought, Luis was already drunk and just passed out as soon as his back hit the bed. Ander moved him and took off his shirt, shoes, and socks to make him at least comfortable. He cleaned himself up and laid down beside Luis and tried to sleep but he couldn’t. He has a splitting headache and decided to take some meds for it to help with the headache and maybe it could help him sleep too.

He got up and went downstairs to get water for him and Luis for when he wakes up tomorrow. The house was quiet and he’s not sure if the rest was already back home. Probably not. The house was dark and was just barely illuminated by the moonlight coming through the glass walls. he did not expect anyone else to be home so he was taken aback seeing Omar leaning on the counter, sipping a cup of coffee.

“Uhm, hey” He greeted Omar, startling him. He probably did not know that they were home too.

“Ah hey. I didn’t know you guys were back” Omar shyly smiled at him.

“Yeah, uhm we got back maybe half an hour ago. Luis uhm, he’s already…yeah. How about you? Did you just come back or…?” His heart was beating fast, not expecting to see Omar home, much more be talking to him alone.

Omar blew on his coffee and took a sip. “Been back maybe an hour or so? Wasn’t really feeling the scene earlier so I just left Rebe and Valerio in the club. You know those two, they could party until sunrise.”

Ander didn’t want to, but he felt kind of relieved when Omar said he wasn’t really digging the scene earlier. It could mean that he didn’t hook up with anybody, right?

He was opening cabinets above the counter looking for the bottled water and when he looked back down, he was in front of Omar, standing too close. “Sorry, uhm excuse me. I’m just, uhm, just looking for the bottled water.”

He leaned forward a little, arms raised to open the cabinet above. They were standing too close that he could feel his body heat and hear him breathe. He found the bottled water and took two, but he didn’t move back. He couldn’t, his feet were like frozen in place as he stared at Omar’s eyes. Omar was looking back at him, they were standing so close that Ander could feel Omar’s warm breath that made him look down on Omar’s lips then back to his eyes.

He literally saw Omar did the same to him.

“Ander …” Omar moaned his name.

His hand involuntarily moved to touch Omar’s face when he heard him moan his name. Omar felt so familiar to the touch.

“Omar… I…” He swallowed. He didn’t know what to say, he’s like in a trance. Being that close to Omar again, feeling his heat and warm breath was too intoxicating for him.

“Ander, please…” Omar pleaded. For what, Ander’s not sure.

But that plea, that moan. His lips. Omar. It was all one big, delicious temptation he could no longer deny himself of.

Fuck it!

He’s giving in and taking back what’s his.

…..


	11. Little Do You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little do you know  
> How I'm breaking while you fall asleep  
> Little do you know  
> I'm still haunted by the memories  
> Little do you know  
> I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece  
> "Little do you know  
> I need a little more time  
> Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside  
> I've been holding back  
> For the fear that you might change your mind  
> I'm ready to forgive you, but forgetting is a harder fight  
> Little do you know  
> I need a little more time"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I would like to apologize first to those who were waiting for this chapter. I was feeling so uninspired lately and felt so disconnected with the characters. I hope this would not sound crazy but I wasn't hearing Omander and the other characters in my head so it took me a while to finish this chapter. I just didn't want to force it and give you a half-ass written chapter. But we pulled through and now we're back! Blame it on the rumor (news?) of Aron Piper having a girlfriend or dating someone - just kidding! We stan Aron Piper and love whoever he loves! Loving Omar Ayuso's IG stories with Aron on it, it inspired me actually. 
> 
> Anyway, rest assured that even if I miss a week in posting a chapter, I will finish this story. The rest of the chapters including the ending are already plotted in my head, it's just putting it in actual words that's taking quite some time. But, I promise that this fic will not be abandoned. Scout's honor.
> 
> Here you go, Chapter 11! Title from the same song of the same title by Alex and Sierra. Hope you'll like it!

_“Ander …” Omar moaned his name._

_His hand involuntarily moved to touch Omar’s face when he heard him moan his name. Omar felt so familiar to the touch._

_“Omar… I…” He swallowed. He didn’t know what to say, he’s like in a trance. Being that close to Omar again, feeling his heat and warm breath was too intoxicating for him._

_“Ander, please…” Omar pleaded. For what, Ander’s not sure._

_But that plea, that moan. His lips. Omar. It was all one big, delicious temptation he could no longer deny himself of._

_Fuck it!_

_He’s giving in and taking back what’s his._

…..

Ander leaned his face even closer to Omar, their lips already brushing with each other. Ander looked at his eyes again, like he was asking for his permission.

“Ander, please…” he repeated. He was asking, pleading, begging Ander to give in and kiss him, giving him his permission to take and do whatever he wants with him.

He felt Ander pulled back a little, so he held on to his arm tighter “Please…”. His plea sounding out like a moan, but he was too far gone to care.

Ander leaned closer again and he felt him tilting his head and closing his eyes. He felt Ander’s lips on his lips.

He was about to make the move and deepen the kiss when they heard the kitchen door open and a collective gasp coming from the door.

They both opened their eyes and turned their heads to the door at the same time and saw Valerio and Rebeka standing by the door with a shocked look on their faces.

Ander jumped back and muttered “I’m sorry” and ran out of the kitchen, running past Rebe and Valerio and leaving Omar hanging and confused.

The next thing that Omar heard was Valerio laughing, breaking the 5-second silence that followed after Ander ran out of the room.

“Did we interrupt something?” Valerio walked inside the kitchen and raise his hand for a high-five which Omar ignored.

“Omar what the fuck was that?!” Rebeka asked him. The scowl on her face telling Omar that she didn’t like what she saw.

“Well, it was nothing as you can see.” Omar was feeling frustrated with the almost kiss that he had with Ander. He could only imagine what would have happened if they were not interrupted.

“But we interrupted something, right? Were you about to make-out? Wow, Omar I didn’t know you had it in you!” Valerio teased him.

“Let me remind you Omar that Ander has a boyfriend. Do not forget that.” Rebeka still didn’t seem too happy about what she saw. Omar couldn’t really blame her. He knew she’s friends with Luis too and honestly, he knew that at the end of the day, Rebe’s concern still lies more on Ander than him and really he should be glad that Ander has many people who cares for him a lot.

Omar stood up from sitting on the counter and started walking out of the kitchen to go back to his room. He’s tired, frustrated, and lonelier than ever.

“Well, like what I’ve said, nothing really happened Rebe. We did not kiss or anything and from the looks of it, we will never do. So, you can stop worrying about it.” Yeah they almost kissed but like what many songs say, almost is never enough.

…..

Ander was laying on the bed, wide awake. He couldn’t sleep. Luis was passed out on the bed beside him and was so out of it, he didn’t even stir even with Ander tossing and turning endlessly.

“Fuck!!!” He screamed on his pillow. He couldn’t believe he almost kissed Omar and almost cheated on Luis. He’s not even sure if it can still be called “almost” cheating or if he had already cheated because he totally knew that he would have kissed Omar with every inch of his life if Rebeka and Valerio did not walk in on them at that very moment.

If there’s anything that he really strived not to be it’s not to be a cheater. When he and Polo fooled around, he almost ended his friendship with Polo after. He couldn’t even look at Polo after that because seeing Polo reminded him that he cheated, and he felt so guilty from cheating on Omar although he was not even sure yet at that time if he and Omar was already in a relationship or not. How much more with Luis who is his actual boyfriend.

He turned to his side and looked at Luis. Luis is a beautiful guy, he has soft features that made even softer because he’s always smiling. Ander would admit that at first, he didn’t think that Luis was his type. Not that he has a type, he doesn’t have one he thought but he was just basing it all on Omar since Omar was the first and the only guy, other than Luis, that he got attracted to. From the very first time he saw Omar when Christian introduced him to Ander, he was already attracted to him. Way before he learned that Omar was gay, and the hookup app matched them because of their proximity. When they first met, Ander thought Omar was already very attractive but in a tough way, with his almost shaved head, bushy eyebrows, unshaven face, and dark clothes. Ander found him hot so he thought that look was his type, but then he realized that he was still very much attracted to Omar even when his look had changed and become softer with his longer hair, clean-shaven face, and lighter-colored clothes. Ander was just very attracted to him in any shape and form.

Damn attraction. It’s one of the things, among many other feelings that he did not have the courage to admit, why he almost cheated or cheated, however you may call it, on Luis. It seemed to be the most pre-dominant feeling that he had earlier when he was standing so close in front of Omar, looking at his eyes and lips. And when he heard him moan his name and plead, he was gone.

Ander shook his head and tried to shake that memory away. He looked at Luis again and on his angelic face. He couldn’t do that to him. Luis had done a lot for him. He makes him happy, makes his life lighter and brighter. Luis had made things right in Ander’s life and just generally made everything better. He just couldn’t do this to him. He couldn’t cheat on him and he wouldn’t. He promised himself that he would never cheat on anyone, especially on Luis and he will convince himself that it’s not too late for him to keep that promise.

…..

He must have only been sleeping for a couple of hours when he was awakened by the sunlight that came through the glass window because they forgot to move the curtains last night. He reached for his phone to check the time.

“Aargh!” He groaned when he saw that it’s still too early for him to already be awake. It’s true then that he only had been sleeping for a couple of hours. Luis was still sleeping as expected.

Knowing that he won’t be able to go back to sleep anyway, Ander decided to get up and go for a run and look for some place open where he could get breakfast for him and Luis. He knew that right now it was his guilty conscience talking but yes, he thought of preparing some hangover breakfast in bed for Luis. He had never done anything like this before, not that he does not have any romantic bone in his body but it more like it wasn’t his style. Well he hoped he got it right and Luis would like it and not ever think that he’s guilty of something which clearly, he was.

With a tray of a breakfast plate consisting of food which was supposedly good for hangovers according to Google, a cup of black coffee, a glass of ice-cold water that his numerous experiences of waking up with a hangover has taught him is very much needed, and a couple of ibuprofen of course, Ander went to their room and woke Luis up.

Luis was surprised and very happy with the romantic gesture that Ander did, so Ander could say he was able to pull it off. Luis was none the wiser and was even so appreciative that when the ibuprofen kicked in his system, he showed Ander just how much he appreciated it, in bed.

Ander couldn’t say if that alleviated his guilt or just made him feel even more guilty than he already was.

…..

Omar woke up around noon, well he got up around noon, but he was already awake way before that. He just did not want to get up and he still doesn’t, but his stomach was already growling.

The door of Ander and Luis’ room was closed when he walked by it, but he thought he heard some muffled moans coming from their bedroom or it could be just his imagination. He hoped that it was just his imagination because his heart still breaks thinking of Ander being intimate with someone not him.

Sighing, he continued walking downstairs. He heard voices coming from the veranda so that’s where he went. Surprisingly everyone’s already up except obviously for Ander and Luis who was not there yet.

“ _Hola, Señor_ Omar!” Valerio was the first one who greeted him.

“Seriously Omar, did you just come here to sleep?” Rebeka asked him.

“Tell me, how are you guys still alive at this time after how much you guys drank last night” He pointed to both Rebe and Valerio. Samu and Carla, probably just fucked all night instead of drinking he assumed.

“Well not everyone is a lightweight like you” Valerio bopped his nose and went back in drinking his cup of coffee which he won’t be surprised to know if it’s already mixed with alcohol.

“Oh look, the lovebirds are up.” He heard Valerio said and he didn’t have to turn around to know that he was referring to Ander and Luis, but like an idiot he turned around anyway.

Ander and Luis walked in the veranda holding hands, greeting all of them good morning. Ander didn’t even look at him though.

Omar wanted to gag. 

“Hey guys, there’s food on the table. Help yourself” Carla offered.

“Oh, we already ate, thanks. This dork surprised me with a hangover breakfast in bed.” Luis said with the biggest smile on his face and kissing Ander on the cheek after.

“Wow!” Carla and Rebe exclaimed at the same time.

“Hey, I didn’t know you have a romantic bone in you Ander. Congrats!” Samu teased, clapping Ander on the back.

“Guilty” Valerio said masked as a cough which made Omar kick him under the table.

“Hey Samu, stop giving Ander a hard time. You just don’t know but Ander happened to be a very romantic guy behind the tough guy exterior. Aren’t you, babe?” Luis told Samu pinching Ander on the side, obviously teasing him.

 _Oh I know_ , Omar wanted to say.

Ander was blushing, embarrassed to let other people know that he’s actually a sap. Omar, on the other hand, wanted to disappear from the room. He’s not interested in hearing Luis gushing about how romantic Ander is as a boyfriend.

Luis was all over Ander, not that Omar could blame him. Ander just did something very sweet so of course Luis would be all touchy-feely. He would be the same if he was in Luis’ place, but he was not and right now it’s taking a lot of his strength to stop himself from ripping off Luis’ arms that’s wrapped around Ander. He started to get paranoid and thought that Luis was doing it on purpose to mark his territory and tell him that Ander’s his now and not Omar’s. But, he didn’t really believe that because as much as he hated to admit it, Luis really seemed to be a nice guy. Rebe, Samu, and especially Guzman would not like him if he wasn’t.

But still, that didn’t mean he would want to see Luis being affectionate or making out with Ander. He just wanted to disappear especially because Ander didn’t even glance his way, not even once.

He knew this would happen, though. Last night was one big step forward for him and Ander but he also knew that it would equal to two steps backwards for them. Ander’s regressing and that’s why he couldn’t even look at him now and hence the surprise breakfast in bed he prepared for Luis.

Omar really just wanted to leave the room that very moment and Valerio seemed to sense his distress. He didn’t know how but he’s thankful anyway.

“Hey, Omar _bon bon_ , do you wanna go swimming? C’mon, get up let’s go swimming! But first you have to model to me those skimpy trunks I’m sure you brought with you.” Valerio said, winking at him and pulling him up from his seat and pushing him out of the kitchen, laughing.

They did not see Ander’s clenched fists.

…..

“If looks could kill, Luis would have already dropped dead a long time ago” Carla said, laying down on the beach towel next to Omar.

“Excuse me?” Omar put down his sunglasses and looked at Carla, startled.

“Well, I know that underneath your dark sunglasses you’ve been staring daggers at the two lovebirds walking by the beach holding hands.” Carla pointed at Ander and Luis with her lips.

Omar rolled his eyes “Of course not!”

“Yeah, whatever you say Omar. But, I mean I understand I’m sure it must suck to see your ex-boyfriend with someone else especially if you still love him a lot, which I know you still do.” Carla tactlessly said.

Omar rolled his eyes again “Seriously Carla? Aren’t you supposed to be sucking faces with Samu right now?”

“Hey sorry but not sorry. I heard what you did to Ander and why you left and why you guys broke up. You know what, Ander and I may not talk to each other a lot but Ander and I had been friends since we were kids so I think what you did was just really fucked up and you probably deserve whatever pain you’re feeling right now.” She looked Omar directly in the eye.

“Welcome to the club, Carla. You’re not the only one who think and feel that way about me, believe me.” He’s not surprised to hear what the _marquesita_ had said. Just like Guzman, she had been friends with Ander since they were little kids so of course she’s not happy to know that Omar had hurt Ander.

“I said you _probably_ deserve it, but everyone does some fucked up things at one point or another. Surely, even Ander had fucked things up with you before. He had done you wrong too but that doesn’t mean he deserved to be cheated on and be left behind. So do you. No one deserves to feel the pain of seeing someone you love in love with someone else.”

Omar looked at Carla, surprised. He did not expect to hear that from her.

Carla spoke again “Ander’s a good guy and a loyal person. Loyal to a fault, in fact. Right now, Ander’s goodness and loyalty are like a double-edged sword for you unfortunately. He’s a great and loyal guy so I know that he still loves you, especially since you are his first love. But, because he’s a great and loyal guy you know that he would do everything not to hurt Luis either, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness.”

She has a point, Omar realized. That’s Ander, even if by any luck that Ander still loves him, he would not leave Luis and hurt him.

“But you know, love may surprise you sometimes. Look at me and Samuel, who would have thought that we will be together and that we’re surviving a long-distance relationship. Somehow. Who knows, it may still be you and Ander in the end or maybe you’ll meet someone else who will love you and you will love like the way you love Ander or even more.”

Omar chuckled at that, somehow, he didn’t think that would happen. Ever.

Carla sat up and turned to Omar “We may not be close, but I know you longer and you’re still Samuel’s best friend so I’m rooting for you Omar. Just don’t hurt Ander ever again, okay? Anyway, it was nice chatting with you Omar but I’m gonna go now and look for Samu to suck faces with him as you had eloquently said.” She stood up and started to sexily walk away but not without giving Omar a small wave and a wink first.

He remembered one of the silly conversations he had with Ander before as they were lazing around on the bed. He asked Ander if he was not gay or if he would have a threesome with a girl, who would he choose. Ander did not answer it right away, instead Ander wanted him to say his choice the same time as him. They counted to three and they both said Carla’s name, well he said _La Marquesita_ , but same thing.

Omar smiled at the memory.

…..

He must have dozed off when Carla left after their conversation, but he woke up with Valerio yelling at him to come over where they’re playing some beach volleyball. He got up to go to where they’re at and he’s also worried that he may already be burning from laying under the sun for a while.

“Hey Omar, man you really do sleep a lot!” Valerio commented.

“Bite me, Valerio!” Omar seriously do not know what Valerio and Rebeka’s problem is with his love for sleeping.

“Later, honey. For now, why don’t you move your sexy ass for a bit and join us play some beach volleyball. Rebeka’s such a loser and can’t play right. Ander and Luis were beating us!” Valerio said, pushing Rebeka off to the side.

“Hey, maybe you are just a lame partner Valerio. No wonder you’re still single. But, Omar please take my place and you’ll find out how bad of a partner Valerio is on everything.” Rebeka pushed him to where she was standing and sat on the sand on the side.

Omar looked at Ander and Luis on the other side of the net. Both boys were shirtless, and he suddenly felt conscious of his body. Luis, though on the slim side, were still toned and showing some abs. Ander probably loves that a lot about him.

And Ander, Omar was having a hard time taking his eyes off him. His shoulders and chest seemed to have gotten even broader and more toned and with the sheen of sweat mfrom playing or just being under the sun, he’s glistening. He’s finding himself having a hard time stopping himself to go to Ander and touch him, Luis be damned. He didn’t know how he would be able to play when he couldn’t take his eyes off Ander. Luis was one lucky son of a bitch to be able to go home to that.

Omar sighed and just shook his head. He turned to Valerio and saw him with a sly smile on his face that’s telling him he has something up his sleeve. He was not wrong.

“Why don’t we make this game more exciting? Let’s raise some stakes. What do you say?” Valerio asked them.

“What do you mean, Valerio?” Ander asked, he’s already suspicious of Valerio’s idea.

“I’m not playing for money” Omar’s not wasting money on this. He knows he’s not that good at the sport and he didn’t know how good or bad the others were at it.

“No, we’re not playing for money don’t worry. We’re playing for secrets.” Omar, Ander, and Luis all looked at Valerio, confused.

” Secrets?” Luis asked?

“Yeah, Omar and I will play against you and Ander and we’ll tell a secret of the other team for every point.” Valerio explained.

“That sounds dumb” Ander said, not liking the idea.

“Oooh I love that!” Luis said the same time as Ander. He gave Ander a confused look, Ander was usually pretty much game with anything.

“Valerio, no!” Omar was trying to stop whatever Valerio was planning before it cause trouble for everybody.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Whatever secrets we have gotta come out at some point, right?” It was a good thing that Valerio said the last part in a low voice, low enough that Omar hoped nobody else heard it.

Omar looked at Rebeka for help but Rebe was just sitting on the side looking amused and excited to watch whatever Valerio was scheming. Even Samu and Carla sat down to watch. Omar felt hopeless.

“Since it’s my grand idea, I’ll serve first. Ander give me the ball, _porfa_?” Ander threw the ball at Valerio and Valerio then stood in position ready to serve.

Omar wanted to just walk away and not play but he knew it would just seem suspicious if he would not play the silly game and he’s guessing Ander felt the same way too. Left with no choice they all stood in position to play.

The game started off already intense with Ander focused on not letting Valerio and Omar get a point. Valerio on the other hand, was playing it cool. He’s good at the game and he knew it. Omar and Luis got a few chances to play but it was starting to become obvious that the game was between Ander and Valerio.

Then with a good spike, Ander made Valerio miss. Luis cheered and high-fived Ander while Omar was tense. He didn’t know what secret will be revealed although he’s actually more worried if Ander and Luis lose the point as he knew Valerio will reveal something that will put Ander and him on the spot.

Luis was looking at Ander expectantly, waiting for Ander to tell a secret of either Valerio or Omar but Ander did not say anything. So he decided to speak up, Ander had told him that he thinks Valerio was still using and dealing drugs and _maybe_ dealing to Omar and that Carla didn’t know about it but should. It was all just a maybe, but he didn’t know any other secrets to reveal and he didn’t want to waste the point.

“Hey Carla, do you know that Valerio tried to deal drugs to Omar at Rebe’s birthday party?” Luis told Carla.

Carla did not say anything but looked at Valerio with her eyebrow raised.

“What?! No, he didn’t!” Omar exclaimed.

Valerio pointed at Omar to emphasize what Omar said. “Was it your boyfriend who told you that, Luis and was that all he told you coz there’s more to it than that? Nevertheless, like what Omar said it’s not true so, sorry honey but no secret spilt there. Better luck next time, if there’s gonna be a next time because you guys are going down. Ready, Ander?”

“Hey, why don’t we calm down a little. Let’s just continue this later and take a breather or two.” Omar tried to stop the game again.

“No, no, no. We have to get even Omar, you don’t want to lose, right?” He picked the ball up and got to position.

“I agree with Omar, let’s just stop this game and chill” Ander did not want to continue the game either, but Luis agreed with Valerio.

“Oh, c’mon babe it’s alright. Let’s play some more.”

Valerio tossed the ball at Ander. “Your boyfriend still wants to play so serve it Ander.”

Feeling defeated, Ander went to his spot and served the ball. The game became even more intense and was now definitely a game just between the two guys. If Valerio was just playing it cool the first time, now he’s no longer playing cool. He’s playing with an agenda and that is to make sure that Ander will lose.

But Ander was not going to let him.

The game went on for a few minutes without the ball dropping. Both boys determined not to miss every serve, rolling on the sand if they needed to just to be able to get the ball. Omar and Luis were left on the side and ended up being just mere spectators.

It went on for a few more minutes until Ander missed. Time seemed to stop for both Omar and Ander when they realized that Ander missed the ball. Omar was not sure, but he may have an idea on what Valerio have up his sleeve. He saw him and Ander last night in the kitchen about to or, was it still about to or were they already kissing when he and Rebe saw them? All Omar knew was that he already felt Ander’s lips on his lips and their eyes were both closed when the two barged in the kitchen.

Ander was thinking of the same thing. He stood up from the sand and unconsciously picked the ball up. He looked at Luis and saw him laughing, obviously unaware of his dilemma.

“Okay Valerio spill some secrets. Shoot.” Luis told Valerio.

Valerio put his arms around Omar and pulled him closer to him. “Hey Omar, why don’t you do it? Tell us about last night.”

“Valerio, stop!” Omar asked in a pleading voice.

“Yeah this game is finished!” Ander butted in, voice strong and mad.

“Oh no, it is definitely not Ander” Valerio answered with the tone just as strong as Ander’s.

“Valerio please stop it!” Omar couldn’t think of anything more to say but stop.

“What is happening?” It was Luis who asked, confused.

Valerio got even more riled up. “You know what, if Omar’s not gonna say it then I will be the one to tell you Luis.”

“Please someone tell me what the fuck is going on here.” Luis was starting to get suspicious of the situation. Ander and Omar were both acting sketchy, he noticed.

“If you must know Luis, late last night your boyfriend Ander and Om---”

Valerio was not able to finish his sentence because in a desperate attempt to stop Valerio from spilling to Luis what he saw last night in the kitchen, Ander spiked the ball he was holding with all his strength directly at Valerio. He may not be a volleyball player, but he was a tennis champion and has a very good aim.

The ball flew directly at Valerio in full speed, hitting him square at his face and knocking him off balance. “Fuck! Ouch!”

Omar, Rebe, and even Carla and Samuel all rushed to Valerio. He was holding his nose and when he removed his hands from his nose it was covered in blood.

“I’m done here.” Ander said, walking away. Still fuming.

Luis was stunned, confused, and just speechless. He did not know whether to go to Valerio to help him or to follow Ander and asked him what the fuck his problem was.

“Valerio are you okay?” Rebe asked. Samu offered his hand to help Valerio stand up.

“Shit that hurts like hell!” Valerio was up but still cradling his nose.

“What the hell happened back there?” Carla asked.

“Ander fucking happened, that’s what!” Valerio was still pissed. If he wasn’t that surprised, he would have punched Ander in the face.

“Valerio man, I’m sorry I do not know what got into Ander. I don’t even know what’s going on.” Luis was still hovering. He did feel bad for Valerio, it looks like he got hit pretty bad.

“Don’t worry Luis, I’ll live. Maybe you should go talk to your boyfriend.”

Luis nodded his head and patted Valerio on the shoulder then he walked away to follow Ander. They need to talk.

“Valerio you should clean the wound and maybe put ice on it. C’mon let’s go back to the house, I’ll help you.” Omar directed Valerio back to the villa. He wanted to talk to him in private.

When they got to the villa, he led Valerio to the kitchen and looked for an ice pack or frozen peas or something. He did not find neither but there was ice in the freezer, so he grabbed a towel and put the ice on it. He walked to Valerio who was sitting by the counter and slammed it on Valerio’s face.

“Ouch! Shit, Omar be careful. You know that hurts.”

Omar ignored it and asked instead “What the fuck was that back there Valerio?!”

“What do you mean what was that? You were there, you saw what happened! Your asshole ex-boyfriend fucking smacked me on the face with the ball flying in lightning speed.” The ice on his face making him wince and making him even more pissed at Ander.

“No, I mean why did you have to set up a game like that huh? Why do you have to cause trouble?” Omar was mad. Much as he wanted to have Ander back, he truly did not want to cause problems between Ander and Luis. He didn’t want Ander back that way.

“I was doing it for you, thank you very much!” Valerio retorted.

“What?! In what fucking way it was for me, huh Valerio? Tell me coz I really don’t see it!” His patience was wearing thin.

“I am paving the way, getting the ball rolling, setting it all in motion for you Omar. You are clearly still in love with Ander, but you were punishing yourself so you’re not going to do anything about it. You don’t think you deserve it after all the fucked up things you did. You will never make a move, but you don’t want to move on to other people either. Well, Ander will not make a move too and you know that Luis will not let him. You’re never gonna make a move but instead, you chose to wallow in pain, mope, and pine over your ex-boyfriend it’s starting to get pathetic!” Valerio’s litany.

Omar knew he shouldn’t care what Valerio thinks but nobody likes being called pathetic “Well, you’re an asshole.”

Valerio stood up and started walking out of the kitchen “Well I may be an asshole but right now it seems like I’m the only one who is on your side!”

….

Meanwhile in Ander and Luis’ room, you can cut the tension with a knife. When Luis went back to the villa, he went directly to their room. He was hoping Ander was there and he was, sitting on the bed and rubbing his eyes with his hands angrily. A sign that he’s agitated or mad.

Luis did not care though. He needed to know the reason behind Ander’s odd behavior, and he needs to know it now. Something was just not adding up to him. “What the fuck did just happen back there, Ander?!”

“Nothing, okay? It was nothing!” Ander yelled, startling him. It was the first time Ander ever raised his voice at him. He walked backwards, putting distance between him and Ander.

Ander saw it and the look of shock on Luis’ face, he realized what he did and panicked. He stood up and reached out to Luis. “I’m sorry babe. I didn’t mean to raise my voice on you.”

“Don’t touch me! What was that back there Ander? What was Valerio talking about? What happened late last night with you and Omar?!” He asked, trying to stay calm although he was afraid to hear the answer.

“Nothing. Valerio was just playing around, stirring things up. You saw that he was already picking on me, on us, since we started this vacation.” Ander was frustrated but he was watching his tone. He did not want to raise his voice again and scared Luis or something.

“Bullshit! I’m not stupid Ander, please don’t treat me like one. You have been acting strange since we got here and I’m not blind either. I saw how adamant and defensive both you and Omar were earlier during the game.” He knew Ander’s lying.

“It was really nothing babe. It’s just typical Valerio, he likes causing trouble. Don’t worry about it, baby.” Ander tried to reach out to Luis again, but Luis moved his hand away.

Luis could not believe that Ander was lying to his face. He knew something was up. He’s not stupid and he’s not naïve either.

“Ander, are you cheating on me with Omar?”

….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will this be the end for Ander and Luis? 
> 
> Knowing Ander's character, do you think he will tell Luis the truth?
> 
> The “Secrets” Beach Volleyball game was inspired by one of my favorite rom-com movies and books, Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Watch it and read it, it’s great! 💛


	12. Cheating on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I know I said, "Goodbye, " and, baby, you said it too  
> But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you  
> I thought that I'd be better when I found someone new  
> But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you."
> 
> Title and chapter inspired by the song "Cheating on You" by Charlie Puth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry if it took me a while again before posting. Real life has been busy, busy, busy. Anyway, I'm back with another chapter and before you read it I would like to request two things from you my lovely readers.
> 
> First, I'm asking you to be please be patient with this story. I know all of you are already excited to see our Omander back together, happy and so much in love but I want to stick to what I think is the true nature of the characters. We all know that it's not always easy for Ander to make a decision because he considers many factors and people before he decides. In the series it took him a whole season to tell Guzman and Omar the truth about Polo because he was thinking of how Polo, Guzman, and Omar would feel. How much more in this story that he would be choosing between his current love and his all-time love. It's a process, which I think is the same with anybody, so I'm just trying to be realistic as much as possible. Please be patient, we'll get there I promise.
> 
> Second, I'm asking you to please trust me. I promised you an Omander end game and it would be. When I started writing this story, I already have the ending in mind and that hasn't changed. Only a few chapters left before we get to the end, so please just trust me.
> 
> Thank you always for reading this story and waiting patiently for my update. Enjoy!

_Luis could not believe that Ander was lying to his face. He knew something was up. He’s not stupid and he’s not naïve either._

_“Ander, are you cheating on me with Omar?”_

…..

“Are you cheating on me with Omar, Ander?” Luis asked again, tone harder the second time.

Ander was panicking inside him for so many reasons. He’s mind was telling him strongly that no, he had not really cheated. But he’s heart screaming “Yes” at him. It’s beating Omar’s name, but his mind was chanting Luis’ name. It’s shouting at him that he could not lose Luis. Luis is the one who is good for him, he is what’s best for him.

Logic vs emotions. Mind vs heart warring inside him but emotions had betrayed him before, left him alone and hurting. If he had chosen logic before, maybe he and Omar would not be in this situation after all.

Luis was sitting on the bed, looking at him expectantly and waiting for his answer desperately. Ander approached Luis, knelt in front of him and took his hands. Luis tried to take his hand away, but Ander held it tighter.

“Luis, baby look at me please. No, I’m not cheating on you. I couldn’t do that to you, please believe me.”

Ander tried to kiss Luis, but Luis pulled away. “I don’t know what to think Ander. Do you think that I haven’t noticed? You have been acting differently since you found out that Omar was back. You’ve been zoning out, you’re always tense, and that you do things for me that you did not use to do before.”

“But I thought you like all those romantic things that I did for you?” He asked.

“Yeah I did but I couldn’t help but put two and two together. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it but it all started when Omar got back so I can’t help but feel that you’re doing it to make up for something to me. Then, all these things with Valerio.” Luis told Ander all his observations that he tried to keep to himself.

“I don’t know what Valerio’s deal is. I don’t know why he all of a sudden liked picking on me. I know I should have not let him get to me, but I did and I’m sorry. Please believe me babe when I tell you that he really likes to just get on everybody’s nerve and cause trouble.” Ander tried to convince Luis.

“What happened last night, Ander? What was Valerio talking about you and Omar?”

“Nothing babe. I went to the kitchen last night to look for Advil or something so you can take one when you wake up ‘coz I know you’re gonna have a bad headache for being drunk. Omar was in the kitchen drinking coffee and we talked a little and then Valerio and Rebe walked in on us talking. It was nothing baby.” He omitted the part that he and Omar almost kissed, of course. 

Luis stood up from the bed and turned his back on Ander. He felt like Ander was lying but he wanted to believe him so much. He’s afraid of what he would feel if he continued believing that Ander was lying to him. He doesn’t want to lose him, he loves him too much.

Ander approached Luis. He held his shoulders and turned him around to face him. He kissed Luis on the forehead and then tried to kiss him on the lips again. Luis let him this time but pulled away immediately.

“I want to believe you Ander because I love you so much but I’m scared. I know that I can never compete with Omar but I’m trying Ander. I’m trying so hard.” Luis leaned his forehead on Ander’s shoulder, crying.

Ander hated himself so much at that moment. Is that what Luis really see in him or was he just overthinking things? Omar of course still mean something to him, he always would, but Ander did not have any intention of making Luis feel that way. Was he really that transparent?

He hugged Luis and patted the back of his head “Hey, hey baby, ssshh. There’s no competition. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry if I made you feel that way. I love you. There’s no competition. You don’t have to compete with anybody.”

Ander said it over and over again. Whether to reassure Luis or himself, he wasn’t really sure.

…..

It was a quiet night in the villa. After all the drama that afternoon, everyone seemed to be getting out of each other’s way. Looks like they’ll be staying in for the night, not that Omar’s in the mood to go clubbing anyway. He’s getting hungry though, but he didn’t really want to go out to get food especially alone since he’s not familiar with the place. Rebe’s door was closed and he didn’t see any light or hear any sound from the inside so he’s not sure if she’s out or sleeping. Samu and Carla rented a car to drive around so they’re not in the house. He’d most definitely not gonna ask Ander and Luis to go out and eat. He didn’t even know if they’re in or not. He could ask Valerio but he’s not sure if Valerio would even want to talk to him after their small argument earlier.

He decided to look in the kitchen for some leftover food. They only have chips, not surprising, but he’s so hungry he could eat anything. He took one bag and a can of soda from the fridge.

He was walking back to his room when he saw someone smoking in the veranda. It was Valerio. His back was turned on Omar and he was looking faraway and seemed to be deep in thought. Omar walked towards him. He wanted to check on his nose and also to apologize about their little spat this afternoon.

“Hey” He greeted him softly so as not to startle him.

“Hey” Valerio nodded his head and greeted him back.

“Uhm, how’s your nose?” Omar held Valerio’s chin and moved his face left to right to inspect his nose.

Valerio swatted Omar’s hand away “It still hurts but luckily I don’t think it’s broken. I had worse so I’ll live.”

Omar looked away, he looked at where Valerio seemed to be looking at. It was pitch dark, but he could still see a glimpse of the ocean and hear the waves crashing. He took a deep breath and started to speak.

“Uhm, I would like to apologize about earlier.”

“Apologize for what? You weren’t the one who did this.” Valerio pointed to his nose.

“Yeah no, I meant for calling you an asshole earlier and technically, it was because of me why that happened, right?”

Valerio scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess”

“But I really want to know why you did all of that? Was it all really just to pick on Ander?” Omar turned to his side to look at Valerio.

Valerio took a puff on his cigarette before putting it out on the ashtray on the table. He looked back at the dimmed view of the ocean. “Yeah, it was to pick on Ander. It’s too funny how easy it is to rile him up, especially when it comes to you. But, it’s not all because of that. I was really doing it for you.”

It didn’t surprise Omar anymore that it was because of him too but what he wanted to know is why for him. He asked exactly that.

“Why? Why do all those for me? I mean, we’re not even that close. We didn’t really use to hang out with each other, until now.”

“I guess you can say that I have a thing with those you call “social outcasts” of some sort. Polo and Cayetana, ring a bell?” Valerio took a swig from the bottle of beer Omar did not notice he was holding.

He didn’t know if he will be touched or be offended with what Valerio had said. “Well, I’m not Polo or Cayetana and I’m not really an outcast. Forget Guzman but Rebe and Samu and maybe even Carla, they’re still my friends. Plus, I have my sister and _your_ sister.”

“Nadia and Lu are not here, and you know that when push comes to shove, Rebe and Samu will pick Ander over you.” Valerio pointedly said.

Omar couldn’t deny that somehow Valerio has good intentions, but he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t take it against Rebe and Samu and even Guzman that they’re on Ander’s side or if they are mad at him for what he did. They were the one who saw the aftermath of what he did to Ander after all.

“Let’s hope we don’t get to that and besides these are consequences of what I did. Law of Karma, yeah?”

Valerio turned to his side and faced Omar. He held Omar’s face and looked him in the eye. “You’re a good person Omar and I can see now why my sister has such a soft spot for you. I like you.” Omar was holding his gaze and he saw the look of instant surprise on his eyes. He then looked down on Omar’s lips and without thinking of anything, leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

Omar was not expecting for Valerio to kiss him. He froze at first but later found himself responding to the kiss, surprising himself even more. What he’s not surprised about is how good of a kisser Valerio is but with just like any other guy he had kissed after Ander, something felt amiss and something felt wrong. Kissing Valerio, though was very pleasant, felt even more wrong than all the kisses he had after Ander.

He pulled away, “I’m sorry”. He leaned his head on Valerio’s shoulder, not pulling away from his hold though and just said sorry again.

Valerio held Omar’s face with his both hands and kissed him on the forehead “It’s okay, I understand.” He’s not Ander and he knows that for Omar it’s always going to be Ander. He just hopes for both Omar and Ander’s sake that Ander would realize it too sooner rather than later.

…..

Ander was on his way to the kitchen to get something to drink when he spotted two guys talking out in the veranda. He didn’t recognize them at first because it was quite dark but when he went further down the steps, he recognized it to be Omar and Valerio.

They were talking quietly so he couldn’t really hear their voices. They didn’t look like they’re arguing, they looked like they’re just talking. Something serious though, it seemed. He didn’t know why but he just stood there and watched them. He tried to listen to what they’re saying but he really couldn’t, and it was too dark for him to even try and read their lips.

That was why he was taken aback when Valerio turned to face Omar, touched his face, and kissed him on the lips. He didn’t expect Valerio to kiss Omar, all this time he thought he was just using Omar to rile him up and amuse himself to his expense. He didn’t think Valerio was actually attracted to Omar or that he would seriously act on it. Ander was seeing red.

How dare he? He should know that Omar is off-limits to him!

When he saw Omar started to respond to the kiss it wasn’t surprise or shock that he felt, but hurt. It hurt him so bad seeing Omar kissing another guy, who's not him. He knew of Malik and him hooking up behind his back, but he never really actually saw them doing it, even just kissing. Apparently, knowing that Omar had been with another man was something but actually seeing it as another. It was unbearable and too painful to watch. He felt like bile rising into his throat that he wanted to puke. He wanted to go to them and rip Valerio off Omar and take him away. Far away from Valerio, far, far away where no one else can touch or kiss Omar but him.

He couldn’t continue seeing that, he needed to leave before he lost it and beat Valerio up to a pulp. He got his feet to move and he ran back up the stairs. He was so out of it that he did not notice Rebeka coming out of her room and almost collided with her.

“Hey, _chico_ what’s the rush? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Rebeka held Ander’s both arms to stop him.

Ander didn’t answer and just looked at Rebe with a distressed look on his face. He looked like he was stopping himself from saying something and crying. She could see him biting his tongue, his lips trembling, eyes watering. She steered him towards her bedroom. With that look on Ander’s face, Rebe had a good feeling that it had something to do with Omar and if she’s right, Ander could not face Luis looking like that. They need to talk.

Her bedroom came with a balcony, so she led him out to it. She took her cigarette, pulled one out for her and offered one to Ander. He hadn’t really been smoking for a while, but it looked like he could use one right that moment. With hands shaking, Ander took one and lit it up.

Rebeka let Ander take a few drags off his cigarette first, waiting for him to calm down a little before she asked him again. “Ander are you okay now, _cariño_? What happened?”

“I saw Valerio kissing Omar and Omar was kissing him back.” Ander said, taking a long drag off his cigarette after.

Rebeka sighed. She was right it has something to do with Omar… and Valerio too apparently. She couldn’t say if she’s surprised or not. Valerio had been picking on Ander since they left for Ibiza, making him jealous by flirting with Omar. She didn’t know either what Valerio’s reasons are, she just thought it was just to amuse himself. But, Valerio’s a natural flirt and yeah basically a fuck boy of some kind so it’s not shocking that he would kiss Omar and to even try to sleep with him, for that matter.

Now, Omar kissing Valerio back, well that’s a little unexpected and somehow Rebeka could not believe that he actually would. She thinks that there may be a back story there that Ander did not see or was not aware of. It’s not a secret to her that Omar is still very much in love with Ander and heck, he didn’t even want to hook up with some random guy from the club last night because he felt like he’s still cheating on Ander even though they’re no longer together. So, they’re definitely missing something there.

On the other hand, Omar could have just realized that fact is, he and Ander are no longer together and he is single. He could kiss and fuck anybody he wants and there wouldn't be anything wrong with it. She’s not going to say that to Ander that way though…or maybe she would because that’s their reality right now. Although, she does understand why Ander’s feeling that way.

“Okay, you said you saw Valerio kissed Omar and let’s say you’re right that Omar kissed him back. Is there something wrong with that? They’re both single, right?” It’s as tactful as she could get, Rebeka realized.

“You’re right, Omar's single but Valerio? Really?! I want to fucking break his face with my fist. Do that guy even know what bro code is?” Ander put out his cigarette on the ashtray with so much force, Rebe thought the ashtray would break.

“Seriously, Ander? Bro code?!” Rebeka laughed. “Does _anyone_ in this group know what bro code is? That word doesn’t exist in this group Ander, c’mon! And you and Valerio aren’t really bros anyway to begin with.” Ander must be crazy if he was seriously expecting that from Valerio.

Ander gave Rebeka a death stare. Rebeka stopped laughing and tried to put on a straight face. It’s hard to do it though especially since Ander was acting like a petulant child. “Okay look, Omar kissed Valerio back but, so what? They’re not doing anything wrong! I’m not gonna lie to you, they may even sleep together, it’s not impossible to happen and it’s still not wrong! It shouldn’t matter to you Ander, you shouldn’t be reacting this way. Omar’s not your boyfriend and you’re with Luis now. This is not right.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?! I know Rebe! I know I shouldn’t be feeling jealous if Omar’s with Valerio or with any guy. But I am, I can’t help feeling this way and I hate myself for it!” Ander said, rubbing his eyes with his hands which is his telltale signs of distress.

Rebeka did not want to stress Ander out even more but she felt like he needed to hear it. “Then what are you still doing with Luis? It’s obvious to everyone that you still have feelings for Omar, even to Luis.”

“It’s not that easy Rebe. I can’t just leave Luis like that and being with Luis is easy, uncomplicated, normal.” Ander tried to explain.

Rebe raised her eyebrows over Ander’s reasoning. “Now you’re just being a douchebag!”

“You’re being unfair to both Luis and Omar. It’s not fair to Luis that you’re only with him because things are easy and uncomplicated with him. You should be with him because you **_love_** him not because of anything else.” She wanted to slap some sense into Ander.

“I do love him Rebe, of course ---”

“Just not as much as Omar, right?” She said, cutting Ander off and stating the obvious.

“It’s not that simple Rebe” Ander knew he shouldn’t expect for everybody to understand his reasons and any reservations he may have.

“Yeah, I know it’s complicated, yada…yada…yada… But you do know that you’re not only being unfair to Luis but also to Omar, right? Your relationship was complicated before because of the factors that were really beyond your control. First, it’s not Omar’s fault that he was born and raised into a family that has strong religious beliefs against your sexual orientation and hey look, everything turned out okay in the end. His parents are now very accepting of him. Then you had to keep Polo’s secret because you wanted to save Omar from the burden of keeping that secret too, not his fault and not really your fault too if you really look at it. And lastly, it’s no one’s fault that you got very sick and was dying that made everything difficult and painful for you and Omar. You cannot take all those things against Omar, you know.” Rebe was on a roll. She really wanted Ander to see these points and maybe finally see that no matter how much he denies it to himself, he still loves Omar and still wants to be with him. Maybe then he can finally decide and end all their miseries.

Luis is her friend too and although she knows it would break his heart if Ander would break up with him, it would be better in the end because Ander would just end up hurting him more even without him intentionally doing so. She is also friends with Omar and although she did not like what he did to Ander cheating on him with Malik, Rebe thinks that Omar had already suffered and punished himself enough for that and is now time for him to be happy again. No matter how much she is very fond of Luis, she still thinks deep inside of her that Omar and Ander truly belong to each other. She just wants them to do it right and without cheating, betrayal, or anything that will unintentionally hurt any of them.

“Ander look, if you really want to be with Luis and you really love him like you say you do then by all means stay with him but, you have to let Omar go. You can’t be jealous when you see or hear that he’s with somebody else. Whether it’s Valerio or not, you can’t. You shouldn’t. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea for the two of you to even be friends. At least not yet, not until you’re sure of your love for Luis, until Luis is secured with your love, and not until Omar has finally moved on.”

Ander closed his eyes tight and then sighed, the last thing Rebeka said was not sitting well on him. The idea of Omar finally moving on from him is a little too painful for him to think of. He knows everything that Rebeka said was right but still, it doesn’t make everything any easier and simpler. He sighed for the second time. “Why do everything have to be too damn complicated?!”

Rebe’s not finished yet though. “Not to make this any more complicated but on the other hand, if you could no longer quiet your heart screaming for Omar, then you would have to man up and do the inevitable. You would have to let Luis go, let him go before you end up hurting him even much more. I know it is tough buddy, but I think you gotta make a decision. If not for Omar or Luis, but for your own sanity’s sake.”

…..

Luis' eyes opened when he felt the bed dipped as Ander laid back down beside him. He fell asleep while Ander was consoling him after their argument earlier, tired and too stressed from all the emotions running high. He woke up like an hour ago without Ander beside him. He felt himself panicking and he wanted to go down and look for Ander because apparently whatever it was that Valerio was talking about during their volleyball game earlier, happened while he was sleeping. He wanted to follow Ander and try to catch him in the act, but he stopped himself. The last thing he wanted was to be a jealous boyfriend, he trusts Ander and he wanted to continue doing so although his insecurities slowly coming out ever since Ander told him that Omar was back and add to that his observations of how Ander acts whenever Omar was around, was making it harder for him to continue to do so.

There’s a part of him that’s telling him to get out of this relationship as early as now, before it’s too late but a big part of him just didn’t want to give Ander up without putting up a goddamn fight. He loves Ander so much and it hurts him a lot to imagine losing him. It felt like he loved Ander the moment he first saw him, and he waited patiently to give Ander the time to be ready to move on from Omar and love someone else and realize that he could love him more than Omar ever did. He cannot lose Ander. He just can’t.

With that thought, he turned to Ander’s side and hugged him tightly closer to him. “I love you”, he told him. “… so much”.

Ander hugged Luis back tight and ran his fingers through his hair. “I love you too.”, he told him because he does. He really does but he still loves Omar too, whether just as much or more, it’s something that he can’t admit to himself just yet.

_“if you really want to be with Luis and you really love him like you say you do then by all means stay with him but, you have to let Omar go.”_

Ander could still hear Rebe’s advice and thought can he let Omar go? Now that Omar’s back, he couldn’t imagine not having Omar in his life.

_“if you could no longer quiet your heart screaming for Omar, then you would have to man up and do the inevitable. You would have to let Luis go, let him go before you end up hurting him even much more.”_

His heart’s screaming for Omar, he could hear it loud and clear, but his brain is telling him to stay with Luis. Also, the last thing he wanted was to hurt Luis although Rebeka was so adamant that he would end up hurting even more if he kept their relationship go for much longer. A part of him was denying that and wanted to prove Rebeka wrong. He could keep on loving Luis and not hurt him in the end, couldn't he?

There seems to be a disconnect between his heart and brain and it’s making him go crazy. Again, maybe Rebe’s right he must decide, and he must do it soon before he drive himself insane. Before he ended up hurting Luis, Omar, and himself, he must choose. A decision must be done.

Heart or brain.

Omar or Luis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The brain controls every muscle in the body, except for the heart. That, my love, has a mind of its own.” - Jonny Ox
> 
> If you were Ander, what would you do? Who would you choose? Would you follow your heart or listen to your mind?


	13. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hold  
> Hold on  
> Hold on to me  
> 'Cause I'm a little unsteady  
> A little unsteady"
> 
> ~ "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Sorry if my updates has been taking so long but yeah, life happens. Anyway, here's another chapter and I hope you all would like it. We're getting nearer and nearer to the end. I'm hoping I'd be able to finish this before the year ends or before S4 is released, and definitely before S4 ends because sadly I read that it's Omar's last season in Elite. I'm afraid what it would mean to Omander especially if Aron would be left to stay. :-(
> 
> But yeah, happy reading y'all! Enjoy!

Omar woke up to the incessant ringing of his phone. He reached for his phone on the bedside table with his eyes closed, knocking over a few things in the process. He answered it with a sleepy hello, not bothering to look at who maybe calling him at what feels like to him was still the crack of dawn.

“Omar?” Omar sat up quickly upon hearing the crying voice on the other line. It was his mother and the mere fact that her mother called him at ungodly hours and with a quavering voice was enough to wake him up fully. He felt a chill run up his spine.

“Mama? Hello? Are you okay, Mama? What’s going on?” He asked, panic starting to churn inside him.

“Your baba…your baba…you need to come home at the soonest, _mijo_.” Was all his mother was able to say while sobbing.

His blood run cold upon hearing what his mother said. What happened to his father?

“What happened to Baba? Where is Baba? Mama, what is happening?”

“Your father opened the store the usual time this morning. I went to the store to get him because he did not answer when I called him to have breakfast and when I stepped to the store, I just saw your father on the floor, unconscious…”

“…what?! Where are you now? Where’s Baba? How is he?” He has a lot of questions and he needed it all to be answered right now so he can start to think of the things he needed to do next.

“We were brought to the hospital by an ambulance and we’re in the hospital now. The doctors are looking at your dad right now, but they said that it’s another heart attack and your father would have to undergo another surgery. We’ll know more later but just please come home as soon as you can, _por favor mijo.”_ His mother was crying again.

His mother must be so scared. He remembered the first heart attack his father had, he was the one who saw him lying unconscious and although they have been arguing a lot at that time and he was feeling very resentful of him, he forgot all of those at that very moment and all he felt was fear and panic. He was feeling the same amount of fear right now. He needs to be home now and see his father.

“Of course, mama. I will catch the next available flight to Madrid. I’ll be there soon, I promise. Please tell Baba, I’ll be home right away.”

He ended the call and opened his browser to book the next flight out.

…..

“Omar what’s with the bag? Are you leaving?” Asked Carla.

Omar went out to the veranda where Carla, Ander, and Luis were eating breakfast. He was able to book a ticket for the next flight out to Madrid, outrageously priced of course, but it didn’t matter to him because he just wanted to go back home and be with his father. He’s already packed and dressed and was going to get a taxi via app to bring him to the airport. He was going to say goodbye to the group first, of course. He hadn’t told anyone yet, hence the look of surprise on Carla’s, Ander’s, and even on Luis’ faces.

“My mother called me early this morning. My father had a heart attack and would have to undergo another surgery. I need to get back home asap to be there for my father and my mom would need me, I’m sure.” He explained.

“Oh my god!” Carla exclaimed.

Even Luis said something. “I’m so sorry to hear that Omar.”

Ander did not say anything right away, but concern was obvious on his face. He wanted to go to Omar and hug him, comfort him, and tell him that everything’s going to be okay, even if he doesn’t know that too. He stopped himself though, Luis was beside him after all.

“How is your father now? How about your mother?” Carla asked. Her voice laced with concern, surprising Omar a little.

“My mother was freaking out as expected when she first called me, but she calmed down a little, well I hope so. I’ll know more in a bit when she calls me again. For now, I just really want to go home and talk to the doctors myself about my dad's present condition. I just stopped by here to let you guys know that I’m gonna go ahead of you. Rebe and Valerio are still sleeping, I suppose but I’ll just send them a message and let them know too. I’m trying to book a cab now to bring me to the airport, but I can’t seem to connect.” He’s been trying to book one for the last five minutes, but to no avail. 

“Hey, you know what we still have the car we rented. I can wake Samu up to drive you to the airport. He’s feeling a little under the weather but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind driving you.” Carla surprising Omar again with her offer.

It would help but if Samu’s not feeling good, Omar did not really want to bother him. “Oh no Carla, it’s fine. Let Samu rest, I ----”

“I’ll drive you!” Ander said, cutting Omar off and surprising Omar and Carla. Both of them looked at Luis instantly who was also apparently surprised with Ander’s eager offer to drive Omar to the airport, judging by the look on his face.

Ander spoke again, a little hesitant this time, giving Luis side glances. “I mean, I can drive you to the airport. At least it’s one less thing for you to think about and uh…plus we can leave now and save some time? I just need to change clothes real quick. Yeah?”

“Uhm…” Omar did not know what to say. To be honest, he doesn’t even know if he wants Ander to be the one to drive him to the airport, they haven’t spoken yet after all the drama that happened a day ago and he didn’t really have the strength to deal with any awkwardness there may be between them and Luis. Not today, no. But he really did just want to get to the airport and Ander’s right, it’s one less thing to think about for him.

He looked at Carla trying to look for an answer, but Carla just shrugged her shoulders and looked at Luis. Omar did not really want to step on Luis’ toes, although it’s the least of his concern honestly, right at that moment.

Feeling backed into a corner, Luis just agreed. “No, yeah uhm…Ander’s right. He can drive you to the airport, Omar then you don’t have to worry about getting a cab and all.”

He stared at Luis for a little bit, he didn’t see genuine consent on his face, but Omar couldn’t really blame him, could he? He looked at Carla once more, but she just shrugged her shoulders again.

Omar just nodded his head awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

“Okay then…”

…..

Silence enveloped the car the first ten minutes of their drive to the airport. Both did not know what to say or how to start the conversation. Omar was fidgeting on his seat and rubbing his wrist continuously, showing signs of discomfort. Ander was watching Omar from the corner of his eye, his concern for the other boy growing more and more by the minute.

Omar was the one who broke the silence. “Uhm…thank you Ander for taking me to the airport. I really appreciate it. I just hope I didn’t get you into any trouble with Luis.”

Ander looked quickly at Omar and smiled at him then looked back at the road right away. “You’re welcome, man. I’m glad to be of help to you, even with just a simple thing as driving you to the airport.”

Omar looked at Ander, shocked. “Did you just call me **_man_**?!”

_Uh oh_. Ander thought. He looked at Omar sheepishly, trying not to laugh.

Then, Omar laughed. Loud. “Seriously Ander? _Man_?!”

“I wasn’t sure you would catch that, but I was just trying to make you laugh, actually. It worked, see?” Ander proudly said, laughing too.

Still smiling, Omar said “But seriously Ander, thank you. You didn’t have to do this for me, and I really hope that I didn’t get you into any trouble with Luis especially you know, in the light of recent events.”

Ander sighed quietly. When he offered to drive Omar to the airport, he wasn’t thinking of Luis then. He was so worried and concerned with Omar that he just wanted to be there for him and help and comfort him. He forgot to think of how Luis would feel about it. He cleared his throat. “Luis…Luis is good person. Too good, in fact. He’s very understanding, considerate, and has the patience of a saint. Don’t worry about it, Omar. He understands your situation, so you didn’t get me to any trouble with him.”

Truth be told, Ander was not really sure of how Luis feels about all of this. He knows that he’s pushing Luis’ patience and basing on their “fight” the day before, Luis was already starting to doubt him, was already feeling insecure about his love for him and in their relationship. What he did just now did not help any, he knows that. He clearly did not think of Luis when he offered to bring Omar to the airport. He needs to make it up to him big time when he gets back to the villa.

Changing the subject and also wanting to know, he asked Omar. “But really Omar, how are you right now? How are you doing?”

Omar took a deep breath and exhaled slowly first before answering. “Honestly, I’m scared. So scared. I’m afraid to lose my father. Not yet…not now, not when it feels like we were just starting to build and enjoy our father and son relationship. I’ve wanted that for too long, you know and now he had come a long way, from being a close-minded, homophobic father to an open-minded, accepting dad.”

Ander nodded his head, understanding what Omar was saying. Although his father was not as close-minded with his sexuality as Omar's dad was, they did not have a good relationship as well until he went into remission and he decided to turn his life around. He would be devastated too if he lose his dad now when they have just started to get along and have an ideal father and son relationship.

Omar spoke again, “I haven’t even introduced you to him yet ----”

Ander was not expecting Omar to say that, making him glance Omar’s way suddenly. Basing on Omar’s look, he was not meant to say it out loud either.

“---no, what I meant to say was, I haven’t even brought home a boyfriend or someone special to introduce to my father, you know. Yeah, uhmm, now that he’s accepting of me, of my sexuality, I was kinda looking forward to it and maybe even get his blessings on my relationship finally.”

“I know what you mean.” Ander said, smiling at Omar.

….

One of the ironies in life, Ander realized, was just when you want the time to slow down that’s when it seems to be going fast. Before they knew it, they can already see the airport from the road. Ander wanted to turn the car around and go around in circles just so he could extend his time alone with Omar.

“We’re almost there. I hope you’re not running late for your flight.” He said to Omar.

Omar looked at his wrist to probably check his watch for the time but grimaced and rubbed his wrist like it’s in pain when he realized he wasn’t wearing one. He checked his phone instead for the time. “Uhm no, actually it’s still early. I have at least an hour before I have to check in and board the plane, I think.”

When Ander heard that he then turned the car towards the parking area of the airport.

“Uhm…are you gonna park, Ander? Hey, I’ll be fine, you can just drop me off by the entrance. You don’t have to stay and wait with me.” Omar looked at Ander.

Ander did not say anything and just drove towards the parking lot.

“Ander seriously, you don’t have to wait with me. I’ll be okay.” Omar said again.

Ander found a parking spot near the entrance and parked the car there effortlessly. He turned the engine off and then looked at Omar. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to, Omar. I, uhmm… we do not have any plans for today anyway so it wouldn’t hurt anything if I stay with you for like an hour more. At least then you won’t be alone for another hour and won’t drive yourself stir-crazy by thinking and worrying obsessively which I’m sure what you will do.”

“But I don’t want to inconvenience you even more, Ander” Omar shyly said.

Ander reached his hand out and held Omar’s chin, turning him around to face him. “You’re never going to be an inconvenience to me, Omar. I want to be here for you and help you anyway I can.”

Omar was so moved by Ander’s words. He looked him in the eyes and hoped that he’s not mistaken about the tenderness and love he’s seeing in Ander's beautiful eyes. He wanted to tell him he loves him but it’s not the right time he knows, he just sincerely thanked him instead. “Thank you, Ander. Really.”

Ander kissed him in the forehead and said. “You’re welcome, Omar. Really.”

…..

Omar did not check in right away when they got in the airport. They saw a Starbucks, so they went in and Omar ordered coffee for the both of them. He forgot to ask Ander what he wanted to drink but he still knows from before that he always just orders the basic Iced Americano and none of those fancy drinks that Starbucks have, that’s more his taste. Well, he hoped he still does at least.

“I got you Iced Americano. Sorry, I forgot to ask you what kind you want before I ordered.” Omar said, handing the drink to Ander before sitting on the chair opposite his.

“No, this is fine. You remembered, thank you.” Ander can’t help but smile at the thought that Omar still remembers little things about him.

“I remember everything” Omar mumbled and smiled shyly.

Although he wanted to get to Madrid right away and check on his father, a part of him wanted to stop the time too. He cannot deny that he’s really loving the concern and care that Ander’s showing him. He’s a little confused because he's worried that he’s maybe just reading into it too much, but with how Ander’s treating him it makes him feel that he still cares for him. He also has a good feeling that Ander is going to be in trouble with Luis basing on the look of shock on Luis’ face earlier when Ander offered to bring him to the airport without at least talking to Luis about it first. He wouldn’t be comfortable either with the idea of his boyfriend alone with his ex-boyfriend for hours, if he was in Luis’ shoes. But, he didn’t really want to think about all of that at the moment. He has more important and pressing matters to think about. For now, he would just take it as it is and appreciate and savor this sweet albeit short moment he’s having with Ander.

Ander reached over and touched Omar’s hand that has been rubbing his other wrist, startling Omar and making him look up.

“Omar, are you okay? Does your wrist hurt? You’ve been rubbing it non-stop, since you got on the car, actually.” Ander observed.

“Oh yeah, uhmm no it doesn’t hurt but I left my watch on the nightstand in my room in the villa. I already asked Rebe to keep it and I’ll get it from her when she gets back. I’m just not used to not having a watch now, I feel kinda bare. I didn’t notice I’ve been rubbing my wrist though.” Omar chuckled, surprised at how observant Ander has been. He didn’t use to be that observant and he wanted to flatter himself thinking that Ander’s only observant with him.

Wanting to lessen Omar’s discomfort and help him in any way he can, Ander took off the watch that he’s wearing and handed it to Omar without any second thoughts even though he did not know what to tell Luis. The watch was actually a gift from him. Luis gave it to him on his birthday and he wore it everyday since then so it may be stupid of him to wish that Luis will not notice that he was not wearing his watch.

He’s evil, he knows. He’s hurting Luis, he’s aware of that. Things that he needs to explain to Luis were piling up and honestly, he didn’t really know how to explain it to Luis. He didn’t know what to say to him other than he’s sorry. He’s still trying to fool himself and will do the same to Luis too, that he’s doing all of this for Omar because they’re friends. Fat chance that Luis would believe him. Maybe? Definitely?

He’ll cross that bridge when he gets there which ironically wasn’t that far away, Ander thought.

“Ander no, I can’t take that. Plus, it looks so expensive. I’m going to be okay, it’s not that long of a flight anyway.” Omar refused to take the watch, but he was so touched with everything that’s Ander’s been doing for him, nevertheless.

“C’mon take it, Omar. I know you will be all anxious and agitated the rest of the flight so at least this would be one less thing for you to be anxious about. It’s alright. C’mon, I will just take it back from you when I get back from vacation.” Ander took Omar’s wrist and put the watch on him.

“Ander…” Omar wanted to refuse some more but he was speechless. He looked at the watch on his wrist and then at Ander’s face. He wanted to cry with how caring Ander was being with him. Thank you was all he could say.

Ander was still holding his hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it.

“You’re welcome.”

…..

However much both Omar and Ander wanted to stop the time, it didn’t. Soon Omar had to check-in if he did not want to miss his flight. Ander walked with him up to the last point he could without a ticket.

“So, uhm…I need to go and check-in. Thank you again, Ander. For everything. It means so much to me.” Omar said. He couldn’t say bye though. He didn’t want to.

Ander looked at Omar and smiled shyly, giving him a salute.

“Okay yeah, uhmm…so, I have to go. See you in Madrid?” He asked like it was just a normal thing to ask.

Ander nodded his head. _“Si, claro. Chau.”_ He gave Omar a small wave.

“Bye.” Omar waved back and then turned around and started walking away.

“Omar!”

Omar heard Ander called him. He turned back around and saw Ander walking fast towards him. Ander pulled him in for a hug, surprising him.

Ander pulled away slightly and said, “Call me when you land, okay? And, do not hesitate to let me know if you need help for anything. I’m here for you.”

Once again, Ander had rendered Omar speechless with his genuine care and concern for him. All he could do was to just nod his head in agreement and offered him a sweet, affectionate smile.

They were standing there, staring at each other’s eyes like some star-crossed lovers in the middle of Ibiza airport. Omar felt like he was trapped in some cheesy rom-com movie, but he was cherishing every moment.

Ander was holding his face in both of his hands and he was looking at his eyes and, on his lips, and then back to his eyes again like he was going to kiss him. Omar held his breath. Anticipating.

Ander wanted to kiss Omar so bad, but he knew he shouldn’t. Luis crossing his mind. He had already betrayed him too many times in just one day, he couldn’t add more to it. He sighed and just settled on kissing Omar on the forehead instead.

“Thought I should let you know that. Bye, Omar. Have a safe flight”, he whispered.

…..

When he got back to the villa, the villa was quiet. It looked like nobody was home or maybe they're hanging out in their own bedrooms. The silence was deafening though, and it made him feel even more agitated.

Ander was not looking forward to coming back to the villa, not because he did not want to be with Luis but because he was dreading the conversation he’s going to have with Luis about everything that transpired today.

On the drive back from the airport, he was racking his brain but still didn’t come up with what to say to Luis or what to do other than apologizing. He knew Luis must be mad at him, he jumped at the chance of being a hero to his ex-boyfriend without asking Luis or considering his feelings or something. He would be pissed too, if he was Luis.

If Luis was not mad, which he doubts, he would at least want an explanation from him and Ander really has none other than he’s just being a good friend, which again he doubts, Luis would believe. He really is a certified asshole.

He had to face Luis no matter what, apologize and suffer the consequences of what he did. But, Luis is a very patient person, he’s an angel, a saint so there may be a slight chance that he would be understanding of it all and might not say anything at all. Although, Ander doesn’t think that’s any better. In fact, it might even be worse because his guilt would eat him up whole, that’s for sure.

Ander sighed and walked toward the stairs leading to their bedroom. He was about to go up when he saw Luis coming down the stairs with his suitcase.

“Babe? What’s with the suitcase? Are you leaving? Where are you going?” He asked one after another but was all ignored by Luis. He grabbed the suitcase, trying to stop Luis.

“Let go of the suitcase, Ander” Luis said through gritted teeth.

Ander let go of the suitcase but reached out and tried to stop Luis instead by touching his arm or hand, but Luis quickly moved back, away from him.

“Don’t touch me.”

Ander put his hands up “Okay, okay I won’t. But baby, where are you going? Why are you bringing your suitcase with you?”

Luis exhaled loudly. “I’m going to stay with my friends until it’s time for us to go back to Madrid. I forwarded to you our e-ticket so I will just see you in the airport or whatever.”

Ander moved in front of Luis to block him from walking forward. He tried to hold Luis’ hands again but retracted, not wanting to piss him off more than he already did. “But why? Baby, I’m sorry. C’mon, let’s talk about this first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Ander. I’m leaving because I’m just too tired to deal with all of this. This vacation has been nothing but a disaster for me so please, move and just let me go.” Luis retorted

“Luis, baby. I’m really, really---”

Luis cut him off “Yeah, yeah I know you’re sorry. Of course, you are, right? Really, what else is there for you to say anyway? How would you explain why you did what you did earlier, hmmm Ander? Let me guess, you did it because you are friends. You did it all to help out a friend and that makes it alright, right? I can’t be upset about it even though that friend is your ex-boyfriend, right?”

He said it all in one breath and he did not realize he was clenching his fists while talking. He was just really frustrated. This was why he did not want to talk about this, especially to Ander, because even in his mind it seems like he doesn’t make any sense. He understands that Omar is going through something difficult right now, really he does but could he really be blamed with what he feels at that moment? Is it wrong for him to feel jealous, to feel threatened, to feel scared that he’s losing Ander to Omar fast day by day? He couldn’t face that. Not yet. That’s why he has to get away from it all. He has to go.

Ander was still standing in front of him and blocking his way again. “Ander, move. My ride is here so I am asking you, please get out of my way”

“Luis…”

“I swear to god, I will punch you in the face if you don’t fucking move out of the fucking way right now.” He rarely swears and cuss, but he really just wanted to get out of this place.

Ander moved to the side and reluctantly let Luis pass. He had hurt him, and he felt like shit about it. He wanted to fix it, but he couldn’t do anything about it that second. With his head hang low, he told Luis sorry again but Luis just closed the door on him.

He’s an asshole, a jerk, a douche, a total scumbag. Frustrated and mad at himself, he banged his head at the door a few times. Maybe that would help clear his mind and he’d know how he could fix all of it, especially to Luis.

He turned around to go to his room and sleep it off maybe. That’s when he saw Rebeka standing by the stairs and shaking her head at him. She obviously heard him and Luis and by the disappointed look on her face, he already knew what she would say to him.

“I told you so.” Rebeka told him. Just like he thought.

….

Omar was a mess. He feels like a mess and he looks like a mess. Two weeks had past and his father’s still in the hospital. The surgery was a success, well as successful as it could get the doctors said but had several complications after that’s why they had to keep his father in the hospital. He’s afraid but trying to keep himself hopeful for his own sake and his mother and father too. It’s very hard though, it’s bringing him back memories of when Ander was sick, and he was so afraid everyday that he would wake up or come home to some bad news. That’s one memory that he never ever wanted to go back to.

He’s totally exhausted too, not only because of the stress but also from running their store all by himself. They have to keep the store open, that’s what his dad would want them to do anyway. It’s also basically their source of funds so he must keep it going even it’s just by himself. His mom is with his dad in the hospital of course and his sister Nadia couldn’t come home at a short notice, but she said she would come home before her school starts again.

Hi back and neck hurts, actually his whole body hurts, from lifting all the boxes, stacking shelves, cleaning the store. His head also hurts from doing inventory, which was the task that he hates the most, and doing the books, sorting receipts and all. His father would expect it all to be in order when he comes home and fully recovered. That’s right, he’s saying when and not if because he truly believes in his heart that his father will get better.

Omar ran his hand through his hair, making it much messier. Tired, frustrated, and emotional, he put his head on his hands. He could feel his eyes heat up with tears. He’s getting very emotional because he’s too exhausted. Rebe had helped him in the store the past week but she has to go with his mother for some family trip. She wished her sister’s here but yeah, she couldn’t. He felt so alone and sad.

The bell at the door made a sound, signaling an incoming customer. Omar rubbed his eyes with his hands to wipe away his tears and then looked up to greet the customer.

The he saw him. Ander. Standing by the door, looking clean, fresh, pristine, and all handsome with that sweet smile on his face.

“Hi, Omar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :-)


	14. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When certain parts of our bodies are touched, certain enzymes and chemicals that trigger sexual desire are released into our system. The more our bodies are stimulated, the more chemicals are released and the greater our sexual desire grows until it becomes a virtually unstoppable flood.”
> 
> ― Myles Munroe, Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to a Fulfilling Love Relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!!! I won't be giving any more excuses but here's another chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Were down to the last 3 chapters and maybe an epilogue. 
> 
> Again, happy new year and happy reading! Love, love!
> 
> P.S. Title and the whole chapter inspired by the song "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet. For more feels, go give it a listen. :-)

It had been two weeks since they had been back from that disastrous vacation and Ander hadn’t heard back from both Omar and Luis. After Luis left their villa that day, Ander had tried to contact him several times and asked him to come back or to tell him where he’s at so he could go to him. Luis responded only once and just to tell him that he was with his friends, he’s okay, and that he would see him in the airport in time for their flight back to Madrid.

Like what Luis told him, he was in the airport in time for their flight back home, but it was like he deliberately came at the last minute so he wouldn’t have to talk to Ander. Luis still sat beside him on the plane but just slept or “fake” slept, Ander suspected, the whole time so he was not able to talk to him then. Left with no choice, he just tried to sleep too during the short flight. He’d take the cab with Luis going home and he’d talk to him then. Luis would most likely not make it easy for him and the cab ride would definitely not be long enough for them to talk and mend things between them but he’s already planning on stopping at Luis’ place first anyway. He would even sleep over if needed and if Luis would let him.

But that didn’t happen either. Luis didn’t even want to take the cab with him giving the excuse that he’s not feeling well and that he had to leave early the following day to go back to his hometown for the rest of the summer. He left him behind in the airport with just the words “we’re good, don’t worry” and a pat on the cheek when he told him that he was hoping they could talk and fix their relationship. Luis just sent him a text message the following day telling him that he already left and that they would talk when they see each other again. That’s all. No “I love you” or anything. _Nada_.

That worries him a lot because a part of him, the logical part, is screaming at him that it would be a very big mistake to let Luis go. A part of him is not yet ready and is terrified to end things with Luis and be alone again in his own world. He really does love Luis, despite how confused or torn he may seem to be or frankly, even despite Omar.

Then, there’s Omar. He hasn’t talked to Omar again since he brought him to the airport about two weeks ago. After Luis messaged him that they’re good and that he’d just see him on their flight back, he then tried calling Omar to check on him and his dad as well. He’s concerned about him and wanted to show him that it’s true that he really wanted to be there for him but Omar didn’t take his call. He called several times when they got back but Omar never answered.

 _“Aargh the men in his life!”_ , Ander thought. They drive him insane yet he doesn’t want to live without them.

…..

He was about to leave to meet his dad and talk about a possible job for the summer teaching tennis in the club house when his phone rang. It was Rebeka.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, handsome! How are you?” Rebe greeted from the other line

“Hello Rebe! I’m alright, considering. What’s up?” He answered.

“What are you up to? Busy?” Rebe asked.

“Uhm no, not really but I’m about to leave and meet my father. He said he could hook me up with a job in the club house teaching tennis. Why? What’s up?”

“Well, you know I’ve been helping Omar in the store right since he has to do it all alone with his father still in the hospital and his mother taking care of his father.”

“Yeah, that’s very nice of you Rebe. I’m sure Omar appreciates it all.” Ander always had known that Rebe is very reliable. She’s one of the people that can be counted on to help when needed.

“Thanks but yeah, my mother wants me to go with her to visit some of our relatives. Well, not really just visit but more like go on a vacation. So, I’m wondering if maybe you could go and help Omar while I’m gone? I’m just really worried about him, you know. That was some hard work on top of him worrying about his dad’s condition.” Worry very much evident in Rebeka’s voice.

Ander answered without any hesitation, “ _Claro_ , Rebe. You don’t even have to ask twice. When are you leaving?”

“Uhmm, actually we’re leaving today. Sorry for the short notice but you don’t have to go there today if you have plans and all. I’m sure Omar can handle it by himself for a day but you know check on him every once in a while, yeah? You don’t also have to go there every day. Really, just whenever you can ----”

“Rebe it’s fine. I’ll go there today, no problem. It’s Omar, of course I’ll be there for him. Don’t worry about it.” Ander cut her off and assured her.

Apparently for Omar, he will still do everything at the drop of a hat.

…..

Omar was a mess. He feels like a mess and he looks like a mess. Two weeks had past and his father’s still in the hospital. The surgery was a success, well as successful as it could get the doctors said but had several complications after that’s why they had to keep his father in the hospital. He’s afraid but trying to keep himself hopeful for his own sake and his mother and father too. It’s very hard though, it’s bringing him back memories of when Ander was sick, and he was afraid every day that he would wake up or come home to some bad news. That’s one memory that he never ever wanted to go back to.

He’s totally exhausted too, not only because of the stress but also from running their store all by himself. They have to keep the store open, that’s what his dad would want them to do anyway. It’s also basically their source of funds so he must keep it going even it’s just by himself. His mom is with his dad in the hospital of course and his sister Nadia couldn’t come home at a short notice, but she said she would come home before her school starts again.

His back and neck hurts, actually his whole body hurts, from lifting all the boxes, stacking shelves, cleaning the store. His head hurts also from doing inventory, which is the task that he hates the most, and doing the books, sorting receipts and all. His father would expect it all to be in order when he comes home and fully recovered. That’s right, he’s saying when and not if because he truly believes in his heart that his father will get better.

Omar ran his hand through his hair, making it much messier. Tired, frustrated, and emotional, he put his head on his hands. He could feel his eyes heat up with tears. He’s just getting very emotional because he’s too exhausted. Rebe had helped him in the store the past week but she has to go with his mother for some family trip. She wished her sister’s here but yeah, she couldn’t. He felt so alone and sad.

The bell at the door made a sound, signaling an incoming customer. Omar rubbed his eyes with his hands to wipe away his tears and then looked up to greet the customer.

The he saw him. Ander. Standing by the door, looking clean, fresh, pristine, and all handsome with that sweet smile on his face.

“Hi, Omar.”

“Ander, hi. Uhmm…ahh…what are you doing here? I mean not that I mind, don’t get me wrong. Just wondering, uhm yeah.” He was so nervous and he didn’t know why. It’s just Ander but his throat all of a sudden went dry and his palms sweaty. He rubbed it on the apron that he’s wearing.

“Just wanted to check in on you and see if I could be of any help here? I do not really know how to do inventories and stuff but I can stack shelves, clean, and lift heavy boxes.” Ander said, flexing his biceps for a show.

Omar couldn’t help but laugh with Ander’s goofiness. It may have been a few and far between when they were together but Omar loved it when Ander was all goofy and playful.

“You’re a dork! But Ander seriously you don’t have to do this. I’m sure you have other important things you rather do in your summer vacation than working here in our store unpaid ‘coz I, uhmm, I can’t really afford to pay you. I’ll be fine, really.”

Ander walked towards Omar and cupped his chin to look at his eyes. “Hey, hey you don’t need to pay me anything. Being able to help you while hanging out with you, spending time with you, it’s already payment enough. Besides there’s nothing else I’d rather do. I told you I want to be here and help you any way I can so just let me, okay?”

With Ander’s intense gaze and sexy smirk, what power does Omar have?

“Okay.”

…..

In the past two weeks, Ander had called Omar several times and he ignored them all. The same day that he came back from Ibiza, he found out from Rebeka that Ander and Luis had an argument about him, and that Luis left the villa that day too. Omar felt so guilty after hearing that. Ander was the one who offered to drive him to the airport, yes but he did not really refuse it. Not only that but he knew it was not just his imagination and they did have a moment while waiting for his flight. Ander was so sweet and caring towards him that he couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole flight. If it was not for his worry and concern about his father’s condition, he would have probably been jumping for joy and was smiling non-stop. With that news from Rebe, the good memory of their moment in the airport was replaced with guilt. He didn’t really mean to get Ander in trouble with Luis or to cause a strain in their relationship.

He still loves Ander very much and wishes that they get back together but he was already starting to accept the fact that it may never happen until that moment in the airport where he’s sure that he’s getting vibes that Ander still loves him too. So, he did not answer Ander’s calls because he knew he would not be able to stay away from him and he did not want to cause any more troubles form him and Luis. The last thing he wanted was to give Ander problems. He did not know if Ander and Luis had already made up or if they’re still together or what, but he couldn’t stay away from Ander, he can’t just force himself to do it, especially when Ander was the one who came to him.

How can Omar stay away from Ander when like now, he couldn’t take his eyes off him? He was at the counter sorting out receipts and manning the register while Ander was on the other side of the store, stacking shelves with canned goods. With Madrid’s sweltering heat, the AC in the store seemed to not be enough to cool down the place especially when you’re doing something strenuous like stacking shelves. Ander’s down to his undershirt paired with his low-rise sweatpants and the sight was doing things to Omar. He tried so hard to just look at the receipts that he was sorting and stop staring at Ander but his eyes betrayed him and strayed towards Ander.

Ander’s not really on the buff side and his arms may seem to be on the skinny side but his biceps are rather impressive with its well-defined muscles which were emphasized with his sleeveless undershirt. From time to time he used said undershirt to wipe the sweat on his face flashing Omar his flat, lean abs. With his sweatpants hanging low on his waist, Omar also got a glimpse of Ander’s happy trail that he very much would like to follow with his tongue.

How could he take his eyes off such a majestic sight, he thought. Omar swallowed, his throat suddenly went dry. He was thirsty, very thirsty for Ander. He’s feeling all hot and bothered and it’s definitely not because of the hot dry Madrid summer. It’s all because of Ander. There’s no denying that he is still very much attracted to Ander just as much, if not more, when he saw him the first time that gloomy September afternoon a few years ago.

Ander looked his way and their eyes met. Ander had caught him staring at him causing his face to go red. Omar thought he’s gonna die of embarrassment, he quickly averted his gaze.

“Like what you see?” Ander joked, winking at him.

“You wish!” Omar retorted, turning his back on Ander quickly.

He could hear Ander chuckling as he moved on to the next shelf.

…..

True to his word, Ander has been coming to their store the past few consecutive days to help him. Omar did not want to expect that Ander will continue doing so but he couldn’t help but wait for him every morning. He loves Rebe and enjoys her company a lot but of course, he’s so much happier having Ander around. Ander’s also a very big help especially with all the heavy liftings which his tired and sore muscles were very thankful for.

He was changing a burned-out light bulb one morning when Ander arrived. It really was a wonder to Omar how even after all these years and even seeing Ander every day that week, his presence could still stop him dead in his tracks. When he heard the bell chimed when Ander entered the store, Omar’s breath was taken away with how fresh and good Ander looks that his foot slip from the stool he was standing on causing him to lose his balance. He was already bracing himself to hit the hard, concrete floor but to his surprise he fell on Ander’s strong arms instead. Ander was able to catch him just in time.

“Omar! Are you okay?” Ander asked him worriedly.

He suddenly couldn’t speak so he just nodded his head. Their face was too close to each other that he could see the miniscule gold specks in Ander’s eyes and feel his minty breath fanning his face.

Omar felt intoxicated. His arms around him and his breath on his face, he’s drunk with desire for Ander. He looked down on Ander lips and caught him licking it. He looked back at his eyes and it may be just his imagination, but he swear he could see the same desire as his reflecting in Ander’s eyes.

He swallowed. He had to kiss and taste those lips again or he would die.

He started to move.

Then the bell on the door chimed for the second time that day surprising them both.

Omar sighed.

…..

Ander stayed for dinner just like the past days he’d been coming to the store. Omar had prepared a nice dinner for them and after, instead of offering Ander a cup of coffee like always, he offered him beer instead.

It has been a long day it seemed for Omar. It was not particularly any busier in the store, but Omar felt exhausted and he actually knew why. It’s because of the sexual tension between him and Ander. It was strong that you could just feel it in the air, that nervous energy between them. Omar swore he could almost hear the electric current between them crackling.

It was exhausting to fight off and suppress that too strong of a desire, to not act on it and not do anything about it when it was obviously there. He’s trying to do the right thing though but Omar really doesn’t understand why the doing the right thing was always the hardest thing to do.

He heard Ander sigh and tap him on his knees. Even that slight touch was enough to put him in a frenzy.

“Okay, I’ll let you get some rest now. Gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow, _vale_?” Ander said and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead.

Ander’s leaving and Omar felt like he need to do something. Make a move or he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He could no longer stop himself.

“Ander hold on…”

He held Ander’s face and put his lips on his lips.


End file.
